Mourning our angel babies but still hoping for the future: let the swi commence!

[TooImmature2BMum]

This is a thread for those of us on the bereaved mother's thread who want a place to moan about the perils of ttc without upsetting anyone over there. We've gone through at least one pregnancy, and we know what it is to hold a baby whose eyes will never open, or to have lost a baby after a few days, weeks or years. We know the fear, but we're going to go ahead and do it anyway. And then do it again, especially in the middle of the month!

Newcomers will be welcomed with all the hand-holding and wisdom we can summon up - and that's a lot! Come in and join us: the door is always open.

blue glad you got the answers you needed. I too was very relieved after our meeting with the consultant, especially because we knew that nothing could have been done any differetly to change the outcome. Get on with the swi and get making Sterre a little brother or sister xxx

ok tooimm its a deal. [shakey hands emoticon] fx its implantation for you.

blue im glad you got your answers, makes my wait a little easier to hear that your experience in the consultant room went ok. Fx mine goes equaly ok.

DH was very annoyed this week to find out that Amy Winehouse got a quick post mortem but we didnt. And that they only have to wait acouple of weeks for the toxicology report. We have to wait 15 weeks!

Blue glad you ve got some answers I think/ hope it helps in the healing process. It did with us. Get to the swi!!!
Hope you re all ok FX for Too and anyone else waiting to test. Hope Mel. s ok?
Love to all. Heard a song from Georgies service this morning (" Somewhere over the rainbow" by Eva Cassidy) the other song we played was "Somewhere" fom
West side story , which I ve never been able to listen to since. In floods of tears on and off since with the loss of Georgie and my cat our life sure hadn t turned out as it should have and it stinks!!! Xxx

Blue: good to hear that you got some answers and that the future is bright! It is excellent that he said you couldn't have done anything differently and that it wasn't your fault. Get shagging, lady!

I did think of you, Green, when I heard about Amy Winehouse's PM! Have you got an appt yet? There seem to have been a surprising number of us 'lost in the system' regarding the PM results.

tooimm its the 10th august. So a bit longer to wait.

Morning girls, hope everyone is ok.

angel hugs, its so hard when you have an emotional trigger, hope you are ok.

blue Im glad you got answers, i second what too says! Hope you are ok

Back to CD 8 and have been swi. Although DF is working away from home all next week, this baby is never going to be made at this rate!

Blue I'm so glad you got answers from the PM, I think it helps you process what's happened better and helps you stop blaming yourself too. It certainly did with me.

I saw my GP yesterday who was very sympathetic but very doctorish about it all and matter of fact. She's signed me off until 15th Aug which will hopefully be enough time to have let mother nature do her stuff. Think they're hinting that I get a d & c after my scan if nothings happened itself by then. Just need to wait and see. Still no bleeding or cramps yet. Scan would put us as being 9 weeks + 2. So at least we'll be over 10 weeks when we go for the next scan (almost 11) and I'll be quite happy that there is no baby.

Love and hugs to you all with everything that you're waiting on x

mel i have been thinking a bout you, i hope you are ok and it doesn't come to a d & c. hugs to you.

mel Im glad your doc gave you that time off, and I hope it doesnt come to a d and c (somebody told me that after a d and c you are very fertile? Any of you heard that one?)

jane good luck with the swi, fx.

CD31 for me today, only symptom I have is feeling very hot, hot all the time and my boobs are roasting! fx.
My sis in law went into labour today (lives in Aus with my younger annoying bro) shes 35 1/2 weeks. Shes been having contractions and had the show but her cervix havent opened. Shes got high blood pressure, so they have kept her in. FX it all turns out alright.

Mel - hugs. Hope mother nature gets a move on and that you don't have to have a d&c.

Green, the 10 Aug is ages away! Hope your sister in law is okay. I was born at 35 weeks (EMCS, twins) and I weighed about 4lbs, but I was absolutely fine, and so was my sister.

DH came home with an Clear Blue OPK for me yesterday. I have just peed on it out of sheer curiosity because I was certain that I was due either AF or BFP in the near future, and I got a ! So I am ovulating now! I so don't understand my body. Why was I too lazy to do some BD last night?? DH won't be home until half past 4. Last SWI on Monday night - maybe some swimmers are still lurking around.

tooimm I still wont test till sunday, we shaked on it. Think I might have read somewhere that you shouldnt take OPK's during pg as they can muck up the results, tell you your ov when your actually pg. I shall research that now.

ok dont know where I read that its rebish. Fx this is the time tooimm

Clearly, the brown spotting and slight cramping were signs of ovulation, not implantation or AF! Thanks, Green - was just getting excited when I read your second post. Oh well, onwards and upwards! This is the longest cycle ever - I'm on Day 41 and only just ovulating. That means it's going to be another 56 day cycle. I had better smack this rat, because my nerves can't take another 56 day cycle after this one!

Green I have heard that after a d&c any fertilised eggs will implant well (?) because the uterus has been cleaned out. Who knows. I suppose on the positive side of things, we don't seem to have fertility issues so long may that continue.

Hi all, just a quick one from me because the internet keeps going down.
mel I have heard that you are more fertile after a mc too.
too don't get your hopes up, worst case scenario, you are ov'ing now but opk's do show positive when you are pg, i know because I have done loads lately when I ran out of pg tests (not sad or obsessed at all) fx for you though. will catch up properly later x

I am ridiculously happy to have got a smiley face on any sort of pee stick! Okay, so it is the wrong sort, but at least it's something. Am now going to assume that AF is not due for another 2 weeks and not test until the end of that.

Mel, that's good news about the fertility issues. FX for your next egg!

Ciwi, oooooooooh! Still not testing for another 2 weeks - will be strong!

Comment about at least getting a positive on your OPK stick made me smile. I thought exactly the same thing myself last week! Hope you get a 'positive' of a different kind soon. xx

Cheese, how did your appt with the consultant go? Did you get another scan? Hope all is well.

Thanks Jane. feeling a bit better . X
Hi all good luck with the swi, 2 week wait or " not" testing!!! Xxx

thanks all! It does really help knowing what happened. My little girl will always be in my heart and I will never forget her, but I know now I can move on. Been really thinking about cracking another test. The last few days my breasts have been very itchy. Consultant said yesterday that it could take up to 6 weeks for my AF to return. It's been about 2 weeks since I had the tiny bit of brown discharge. Could Sterre have been looking after us and give us a rainbow baby already?

blue I really hope so.

My nephew was born yesterday 4 weeks prem but hes fine. Hes in a incubator but just to be kept warm. I was fine yesterday, a little jealous but I was expecting that. We also bought some tests and my dh now desparelty wants me to test, might cave sorry tooimm but its for his sake more than mine Im quite happy to wait till sunday but he wants to know.
Just went on facebook and Im now in tears, the pictures of my nephew are beautiful and they have made me cry but then its what my mother has put that has upset me. Shes commented on her own status 'happiness is back in our lives'. I feel betrayed, like Im forgotten and so is Ophelia. Im glad she moving on its a relief to be honest but she could have been more tactful in her wording!

I hope today is a good day for all of us.

Oh green if only people would think first. Im glad your nephew is doing well. Ophelia will never be forgotten, she will be with you always. Hope you are ok x

I did a test this morning... negative... but that doesn't mean anything for me as I tested negative twice with Sterre as well before my BFP... so I'll just have to be patient!

well sorry tooimm Ive broken our pact and tested and its a BFP! Cant believe it, we must have conceived the day we spread Ophelias ashes. And I said then wouldnt it be weird if we did so and it happened, my baby has given me another baby. I truly believe it, as we said our final goodbyes to Fi another baby was being being made inside me. Wow.

We are not counting out chickens just yet but it is exciting news. Im going to take it hour by hour I think, Ive already cried three times thinking this little one will never know its big bro or sis, or that something bad might happen to this one too. Its going to be a tough nine months or 250 days.