Mourning our angel babies but still hoping for the future: let the swi commence!

[TooImmature2BMum]

This is a thread for those of us on the bereaved mother's thread who want a place to moan about the perils of ttc without upsetting anyone over there. We've gone through at least one pregnancy, and we know what it is to hold a baby whose eyes will never open, or to have lost a baby after a few days, weeks or years. We know the fear, but we're going to go ahead and do it anyway. And then do it again, especially in the middle of the month!

Newcomers will be welcomed with all the hand-holding and wisdom we can summon up - and that's a lot! Come in and join us: the door is always open.

green my OH is on a night out too so i have cracked open the minstrels! My DF has been thinking of names too, Zoe was the only girls name we agreed on and we both loved it. If our next baby is a girl we will struggle with a name!

Im upset now, its getting dark, Im still alone hes not back yet, so hes having a good time which is good but all I keep thinking about is that hes celebrating someone elses baby, when really he should be here with ours. oh this is not doing me any good, I wish I could text him and say Im having a bad time but his phone has run out of power (damn smart phones) so I cant. Not even sure where he is. Havnt seen him all day, he works really early so hes at work before I wake.

I know I shouldnt feel like this I was out till about this time yesterday but that was because I was driving home from essex. Oh I dont know, its just because Im lonely. I have not chocloate in the house either!

green i know it's hard being alone, i f you fancy a chat im here x

cheers jane, the bad thing is Im not alone, my parents have just come home (still live with them its a long story) but I cant go and talk to them as I dont wnat them to think DH is a shit for going out.

Ive just done the bad deed and text his mum asking if hes there, as he works jsut down the road from there and I think the pub they were going to is near by.

Im just getting really anxious about it all now, and then I feel stupid because I feel this way. I just want him home but I cant tell him this coz I cant get hold of him.

I know how you feel, i am sat here feeling rubbish and resent that DF is out having a good time. I'm sure he will understand, it's not as if you can switch your feelings on and off. If he is anything like my DF he will come bursting through the door drunk as a skunk with a kebab in hand!

green you can be in the company of 50 people and still feel lonely.

thats probably true, which also makes me feel like shit. He went out wednesday night with his mates, why does he have to go out for another night. They are work coleagues not mates.

Why do we as women start thinking the worst case scenarios, thinking that hes too drunk now and is attempting to walk home. Should I go out and look for him in the car. (he doesnt drive and he works 5 miles away) I know Im being silly.

I just start feeling so alone, missing my baby, I should be upset because Im at home with the baby and hes out. But there is no baby.

Fucking hate his phone, it has zero battery life only works for a day then he has to recharge.

I cant believe that his party is stil going on the girl is 8 months pregnant for one thing, wheres her energy come from.

Im sorry if i made you feel worse.
I don't think it is a good idea to go out and look for him, im sure he has the sense to get a taxi or borrow a friends phone to call you. The pg girl has prob gone home and the men are enjoying a few drinks.

I know, i often feel upset because i should be upset about being at home alone with baby. He will be home soon with his tail between legs.

jane Im sure you right and thanks for listening.

Im just letting myself get hysterical, Ive calmed down now.

Did you finish all your minstrels?

silly question green i should watch what im eating now i have a dress to fit into!

Im hear to listen anytime, glad you are feeling better.

Im glad youve got your dress. Its a special moment.

I didnt have a dress, we got married in finland so wore and long white (thick) coat.

Im off to bed now, i hope you will be ok. speak to you later

thanks jane.

Morning everyone,
green hope you feel a bit better this morning, sorry I was out last night for DH's birthday so wasn't on here. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in thinking that way. After we lost our little boy I hated being away from DH and I had to ask him to come home a couple of times because I was hysterical. Think I was terrified of losing him too, felt very needy and clingy which I didnt like but couldnt help either x
Hope everyone else is doing ok, i am nearly in the middle of the 2ww, trying not to think about it constantly but not doing very well at it! I am off to make DH a birthday cake now, suppose I will have to help him eat it too!

Happy birthday ciwis DH.

Sorry for the hysteria last night, but I think it did me some good, I got through it and everything was ok, well except DH did have to walk home 6 miles, (he walked his very drunk friend home) and then walked home alone, where he thinks he fell over as he has an awful bruise/scrape on his hip! Boys!

Thanks jane for keeping me some what sane.

I love making cakes, cant wait to get our own place (fx this august) and start making them again and also when we have our other children to making them then also.

Anytime green.
Boys indeed! Mine came home at 5.30 am drunk ans a skunk! He thought it was a good idea to cook prawns?? He then passed out on the couch until i got up at 8.30, i sent him to bed! Why can't they go out and a few drinks wothout getting into such a state? My whole day is ruined now.

AF is finally over! Yay :). Longest I've ever had. Not sure when to start on the opk as AF started 5days after the last positive opk and lasted for 9 days. So should I be expecting to ovulate 28 days after the last positive or 14 days after the start of AF?

Sorry your DH's have been abandoning you to go drinking :(

Afternoon posting from phone. Had a
Nice lunch with dh just now, nice and relaxed. Convinced im coming on, next day or so I think. Will respond to you all when I'm home later

jane thats terrible! At least mine was in by 12 but I had to wake him up at four so he could go to work. He went off still drunk!

I can never understand that either, why not go out have fun drink but still come home in a resonable state. Why do they always have to be bladdered. And they never think of us during this time, never thinking oh wouldnt want to upset our day so lay off a bit. Men!

cheese fx for you.

Ugh, I'm terrified whenever DH is out on his own too! I get panicky and think of all the horrible things that might be happening to him. I never used to be like this - I would have been cross with him in the past! Luckily it doesn't happen very often as DH is a bit of a hermit.

Where is everyone? Busily DTD to make sure no chance slips by? DH has been suffering from performance anxiety but I don't think I've ovulated yet so hopefully it won't have mattered. Anxiety has been conquered now (tmi!), in case anyone was worried.

Hi too, been out in the garden having a bbq for tea! Hope you manage to catch that egg this month!
I am in right in the middle of the 2ww and sucessfully imagining pregnancy symptoms. Do you think its actually possible to ttc and not obsess about potential pregnancy symptoms? I really don't think it is x

I don't think it is either! I wish my cycles were shorter - all this dead time before ovulating is really annoying me. And I just did more Googling - did you know the egg only lives between 12-24 hours if it isn't fertilised? I'm going on a hen weekend Friday to Sunday - what if I ovulate then? Grr. If only one of my best friends wasn't holding her hen party right when I'm most fertile - how inconsiderate!

really 12-24 hours, wow didnt know that. But then again sperm last over 3 days some say just three. So maybe if your going away for the weekend swi just before you leave. And straight away when you come back.

When I fell pregnant with Ophelia, we swi day before ovulation and I deffinitly think that was the sperm that did it.

Im coming to the end of AF, not sure if it will be today tomorrow the next day or the day after that. My af can last 8 days, but this was a short cycle so could be early like today. I hope so then I can get on with it all. I think that fall down the stairs really buggered up my cycle this month so I think I might have to scrap that one in the chart and start afresh this month.

Morning girls, hope you are all well. Apparantley sperm can live for 5 days! with Zoe i felll pregnant the day after my period, was the only time we dtd that month as DF was working away from home!

Oh, don't you just love the symptom spotting
I have spent the weekend swi, think im due to ovulate on wednesday? I really hope we manage it this month!

ciwi i hope the 2ww is a short one for you!