Freak Out Room For Those Newly Updiffed After M/C Part VII

[Blackkat]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
6. And the presence of symptoms.
7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.

10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

collie oh sweetie, i'm sorry you were so upset. a few points, firstly don't forget everything inside is changing, your internals are already starting to be pushed up including your lungs, being breathlessness will be part of that and not necessarily because of weight. remember this secondly if it makes you feel better then do some exercise, they tend to recommend light exercise anyway so walking or swimming is ideal, i don't do enough, i keep thinking i have to, i'm seriously obese and have now started putting weight on so i'm fighting it mentally, i have a mental block that i didn't want to go over the next stone mark but as i was only half a stone off it anyway it was inevitable. i'v eput on 5lb in the last week so i know it's bad eating not baby too much crisps and chocolate. And finally do you tend to obsess over things? maybe he's worried you'll start to obcess over every bit of weight gain. I've sarted to use this just as a guide if i'm between or less that the weight it says i'm happy with that.

I hope you managed to get back to sleep and are feeling better this morning.

WIW sorry about the spotting how are you this morning?

Oh willitbe - so sorry to hear that you are worrying. I second your suggestions of being distracted today and fingers really tightly crossed that this one is heading the right way. Sending lots of positive and sticky vibes your way.

Good words of reassurance cep.

Oh and there doesn't seem to be any more spotting cep - thanks for asking. STill knicker checking frantically, obviously.....

Morning ladies - just wanted to pop back on here over the weekend for some hand holding and reassurance if that is ok.

Had my 12 weeks scan a couple of weeks ago and to our relief everything was fine and now nearly 14 weeks. But yesterday afternoon got some pink to red blood when I wiped. Totally freaked out as this is what happened before my last mc at 11 weeks. Started off like that and then 2 days later full on mc. Rang DH in tears and he came straight home but all hospital could offer is a scan on monday morning as shut over weekend, so have a weekend of complete stressing. I don't have any real cramps or anything, just a few twinges and it would be the time of my period assuming normal timings but is did not happen at 9 weeks (which also would have been period time). Have convinced myself that my symptoms like tender breasts have reduced too. Feel really scared that a) it is all going to happen again and b) that the experience was so horrendous physically last time and can only be worse as later on.

Please someone tell me they have had this and it was all ok. It is going to be a very long wait until Monday morning.

Fantastic scan news harassed - woo hoo! Do you think you'll be able to relax a little more and enjoy yr pg now? Or do you think there's plenty more worrying to come? The reason I ask is that my 12 week (11 1/2 week to be precise) scan is on Monday and I'm a) feeling very anxious about it and b) turning it into a huge milestone in my head as though if I can just get through Monday everything will be alright. But I guess the anxiety doesn't really stop just like that...

Sorry to hear you've been so upset collie. Have you had a chance to explain how you feel to DH? My DH finds it very difficult to find the right words to say sometimes - he means well but sometimes he really misjudges what I need to hear. I used to run a lot but haven't been running since the BFP as I'm so paranoid about something bad happening - even though the midwife told me it was fine to run. I've been trying to go swimming instead - I'm managing to go about once or twice a week and it always makes me feel better about myself. I think whatever makes you feel good is a good thing.

I'm following the Ten Commandments religiously at the moment. The last few days I've felt dreadful - worse than ever - really nauseous and exhausted and generally yuk. I thought things were supposed to get better around now? Of course I'd be panicking like mad if I felt nothing - but now I've managed to convince myself that I feel so awful something must be wrong. Aaagh!

Oh jiggle sorry for x-posts. I'm so sorry you're going through this - what dreadful timing. I've never got as far as you so don't have a similar personal experience to share but I do think that quite a few people on this board have had bleeding after 12 weeks and it's all been fine. I think some people have bleeding till quite late in the pregnancy. And if you've had a good scan at 12 weeks then the chances of anything going wrong now are very, very small.

Have you had any more blood since yesterday? Take it very easy, put your feet up and do anything you can to stay calm - your bean has been absolutely fine so far and I don't think this changes anything

Thanks hadrian Had another small amount when I wiped this morning but that is only twice out of a lot of trips to the loo so trying not to be too pessimistic but did not sleep too well last night and feel a bit rotten today. My parents are here doing some gardening and looking after DS so at least I can rest today.
Feel like it is punishment for accepting a part time job yesterday when I have yet to tell them I am pregnant. Stupid I know.

Afternoon everyone. I'm sorry to read about all the stress people have had yesterday and today. wiw I can imagine it's worrying but please try to focus on the good scan. Bean is fine I am sure. Typical that it came just after scan though. Hope you're feeling a bit better this afternoon.

jiggle same for you sweet. So sorry your having this worry. Can imagine the blood is very upsetting especially if it's around the same time as your mc. Like hadrain said though lots of the ladies on here have had bleeding at various stages, partic some on the women on the grads thread who are just fine. I think bleeding during your period time is common too.

willitbe I'm so sorry for you too. I hope very much you are wrong and bean is jet getting comfy. If you work in a hospital do you have easy access to scans? If so maybe they'd be no harm going for an early one after 6 weeks id it sticks. Fx for you.

Thanks everyone for your lovely comments and advice and I'm so sorry to have emotionally unloaded last night. I'm feeling better this morning and work up determine to do sonething so went fir a jog and feel great. I also treated myself to a wash and blow at the hairdressers gave talked to dh again and he's apologised. Think it was a mixture of him worrying about pup and saying the wring thing. I think it's important for me to exercise as it makes me feel much better about myself, and also means I don't have to feel too guilty about all the pudding and choc!! And as wiw says, it's for baby!

Hadrian good luck for Mondays scan

Cep I love that link and watch it all the time! V reassuring when I've got pains.

Hi everyone
Firstly congrats on the scan harassed, fab news-looks like our EDD is only a day apart now too!

Sorry for everyone having worrying symptoms, it's always annoyingly at the weekend isn't it? I hope the spotting stays away wiw and that Monday's scan comes quickly jiggle and everything is just fine. Im having some of my own symptoms -no pain or spotting but just this really noticeable sensation on my cervix (or what feels like my cervix). It sometimes feels like a strong itching sensation, I've got no itching anywhere else though, sometimes it just feels like pressure. I've had it on and off for the past week or so but haven't mentioned it to anyone as haven't seen the mw or doctor or anyone since. Anyone had anything similar? I'm just a bit more worried than usual cos we're due to fly Monday morn so I'm not going to be able to get checked out before then and I don't want to be ignoring something. Today, it happened not long after showering so I'm wondering if there could be a connection, although I don't remembering the same association the other times.

Anyway, enough me me me.

Hadrian wishing you lots of luck for Monday. As you prob know I've freaked out big time before our 12wk scan last week. I have been feeling more reassured since but I do find it only lasts for a couple of days for me-now I'm thinking/worrying about making it to 14 wks and officially the 2nd trimester!

Sorry, forgot to say that willitbe I hope it's a sticky one as collie says x

Sorry you're having to stress over the weekend jiggle - I had some red/pink on wiping at around 11 weeks and then again last night at 16 weeks. Haven't had any more since and can only think some afternoon sex yesterday may have set something off. Like you, I had no cramps with it. As hadrian has said, intermittent bleeding can be quite common and not necessarily cause for concern. Glad you are taking it easy today and the best advice I can give is lots of distraction. Keep us posted on how you go.

So glad to read you're feeling so much better collie and you and DH back on track.

As for not worrying post 12 week scan hadrian - erm, no, in my case! It is a big milestone, of course, particularly if you haven't got that far before and my legs practically buckled in relief once I got out of the stirrups and the elation did last for quite some time. Feeling anxious about it is absolutely normal, particularly as you have the weekend to dwell on it. Sending all the positive and zen vibes I can your way.

Can't help with your cervix sensation doo - sorry - but I'm sure someone here has had something similar.....

Hello Ladies... Couldn't resist coming on to chat to you all - it's too long to wait till Monday. Feels like so much has happened since yesterday....

Jiggle - please try not to worry... to reiterate what the other ladies said, for many freak-outers, occasional bleeding seems to be part of the course of pregnancy. I am sure you will feel better after it's all been checked out but please try and stay calm.

WIW - sorry to hear about the spotting. I remember you getting it last time and everything being fine so I hope you're not stressing. Sounds like the sex was the reason. I think I'll knicker-check until baby's born...

Willitbe - relax! I went through 8 HPTs before I realised I'd go insane... Remember not all brands actually darken. A line is still a line. Best thing you can do (easier said than done) is to get some serious R&R.

As for the exercise discussion, can I join? I feel exactly the same as you Collie. Let me emphasise that I'm not exactly an exercise fiend to begin with but I have been far more inactive than normal for the past, erm four months! For the first weeks I told myself I'd take things super easy until after the 12 week scan (scared of anything strenuous leading to a MC). Then 12 weeks passed, I still felt (or feel) knackered and haven't got my arse in gear again. I have promised myself that on hol (2 weeks time) I'll start swimming again with a view to doing it when I get back. I'd also like o give pregnancy yoga a go as the summer progresses. Collie - I too am out of breath after climbing a couple of flights of stairs but think it's seriously down to stuff getting squished internally. I'm consciously trying to eat the same amount as normal, take my vits, eat lots of fruit and veg and have a good calcium intake.

Mamarara - fab to read your doula post. You've convinced me even more. There's a lovely lady I found - will email her.

Anyone started to look at booking NCT classes yet? I wanted to push the whole subject to the back on my mind until after the next scan at 21 weeks but a colleague of DH said that in our area, they get super booked up and so recommended we book them two weeks ago now. I don't want to miss out but am petrified about booking them now - it feels far too early. Had coffee and a huge piece of Konditor and Cook curly wurly cake this afternoon with another colleague who is due at the same time as me (she has never MC'd) and she's in full flow baby-buying mode. I daren't buy a thing for many weeks to come..... In fact I left feeling a bit distressed as I am convinced her bump looks bigger (and like a proper bump) whereas mine doesn't (she is a classic football shape already whereas mine is more rugby ball shaped and so looks less defined).

Oops - written a thesis... Sorry for rant x

Evening everyone and thanks for all your replies. It certainly has not got any worse and is only in minute amounts really, but it is so hard not to worry. First time around I did not realise what blissful ignorance I was in with DS. had a relaxing day - my mum would not let me do anything and was actually really understanding and it was great to have people here to take my mind off it.

RE NCT classes I think we booked after our 12 week scan last time as we were told they were very busy in our area too, but this time I am not going to bother as they are really aimed at first time mums and dads. We enjoyed them though and met some really nice people, who, if we had not moved area we would still see.

Can definitely relate to the exercise discussion. I used to be really fit - swimming, hockey, cycling, jogging etc and kept up the swimming for most of my first pregnancy and it was really nice to do. But this time I have been useless and feel really flabby and fat. I am determined to start swimming again next week and join the aqua natal class they do here to but feel like I have less time and energy now with a nearly 3 year old.

Jiggle - hope you had a good night and that things have settled down now. Ad for the exercise, yep it does get harder with other children to consider, but I have loved the relaxation and exercise of the aquanatal classes each time. There was an aquanatal class led by a midwife and that was excellent, she was the best!

Collieandpup - glad to hear you are feeling better and that the jog boosted you.

I am still not sure which way this pregnancy is heading, but at least my temperatures have gone back up and my tests are not lighter. So even with a now absence of symptoms I am holding onto a little hope!

hello ladies.

WIW glad it's stopped, it's so scary having a random spotting when i had my last one, i just got told some women bleed through the pregnancy, they may never know why. Which doesn't really make anyone feel better.

Jiggle I'm sorry you have this worry as well. I was told to only worry if it's painful, which is so easy for a professional to say. I'm glad you were able to have a relaxing day yesterday, and will keep an eye out for news tomorrow. And symptoms tend to go around the 12 week mark sometimes a little earlier as it's when the placenta kicks in.

willitbe symptoms don't tend to kick in till about 6-7 weeks. Glad the temps have gone back up though, fx it's a sticky.

Thanks collie lara hadrian wiw jiggle for joining the exercise debate and making me feel better (and not so selfish!) Think I'm going to go back to yoga on wed and might even give the gym a try (all be it with maybe not so much sweating as before!) Am a teeny bit scared it might cause problems but doing something has got to be better in the long run, hopefully. I am pretty worried how i'll cope with labor if I can't even do easy exercise. Have ordered some cheap pg exercise dvds from amazon to try too.

cep thanks for the link to the weight gain calculator -really useful and cheered me up to see I was normal too!

lara completely understand the nct worry- my mw gave the booking form and i've still done nothing with it. Not bought anything either though my mum keeps ringing with news of offers etc. She sounds so disappointed when I say there's no way I'm buying anything till at least the 20 week scan!

jiggle how's everything today? I had some bleeding at 9 weeks which was exactly like the mc, like you I straight away thought the worst. Managed to get a scan and everything was fine. Seems to be more common than I realised but it's still so worrying. Hope you're ok.

willitbe keeping fx for stickiness

hi ladies. thanks once again for the kind reassurances. No more bleeding today so that is a big relief but feeling pretty grim - cold and shivery and headachy. DH has been great and I spent the morning in bed. FX for good result tomorrow. Hope everyone else is ok.

Jiggle, Willitbe really hope that you are both doing ok. So hope the scan goes ok tomorrow Jiggle - remember the placenta can still be implanting up to 14ish weeks. (((hugs)))

Hadrian good luck for you too.

Found an envelope on the mat this morning, forgot to check yesterday, NT results 1:8500 so feeling pretty cheerful about that. However, not cheerful about pesky rain, so much for maxi dresses, I've been in fleece and wellies today.

to everyone, hot chocolate and biscuits all round

Fingers crossed for your scan today jiggle - glad to hear there's been no more bleeding and hope your flu-like symptoms aren't too horrid. And how are you doing willitbe? And good luck for your scan too hadrian.

Great news on the NT results blackkat - it's quite a relief, isn't it?

No more spotting for me either since fri night so hope it was just the sex (and a one-off).....

I have been a little bit brave and joined the grads thread - eek! Cep - are you ready to "officially" transfer?!

So, I'll do the latest stats here and hope that I've got everyone's dates right - apols for any errors and please do amend! Will definitely still be sticking my nose in here to see how you're doing and snaffling up snacks though!

Monday 13th June LIST

Lovemysleep 22+6 EDD 11/10/11
Tunnocksteacake 21+1 EDD 24/10/11
IreneHeron 20+6 EDD 23/10/11
CEP 19+2 EDD 5/11/11 - 20 wk scan 22/6/11
Hils74 18+5 EDD 8/11/11
Katherine2008 18+4 EDD 10/11/11 next scan 23/6/11
Haffertee 18+2 EDD 14/11/11
Ninunina: 17+6 EDD 15/11/11
delilahbelle 17+4 EDD 22/11/11
Mattsmama 17+4 EDD 17/11/11
CollieandPup 17+1 EDD 20/11/11 next scan 20/06/11
Banana87 16+6 EDD 22/11/11
LaraMi 16+3 EDD 25/11/11 Next scan 20/07/11
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy 16+0 EDD 26/11/11
Blackkat 15+0 EDD 5/12/11 Next scan 26/07/11
Jigglebum 14+4 EDD 8/12/11
Minnie74 14+2 EDD 12/12/11
Lucky 13+0
Dooscooby 12+4 EDD 22/12/11
Harassed 12+0 EDD 26/12/11 next scan 10/6/11
Hadrian 11+4 Next scan - 13/06/11
Youremindmeofthebabe 10+4 scan 22/6/11
Updiffed 10+2
Bump 9+2
Hairylights 9+0
Mamarara 8+4
Lily06 8+3
Pigletmania 8+2
Laylasmummy09 8+1
willitbe 4+3

On the grads thread too:

Nickster 32+2 EDD 7/8/11
Orange 28+2 EDD 4/9/11
Wombat33 27+2 EDD 10/09/11
Daisybell 26+4 EDD 14/09/11
Pinkfondantfancy 25+2 EDD 25/09/11
Tiggersreturn (TTT) 25+0 EDD 26/09/11
mamapower 24+3 EDD 28/9/11
ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts 24+2 EDD 01/10/11
Emoo 23+4 EDD 7/10/11
Onions 21+0 EDD 24/10/11
Velvetcu 20+6 EDD 25/10/11 next scan 22/06/11
MummyAbroad 19+3 EDD 4/11/11
wombatinwaiting: 16+4 EDD 24/11/11

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping

Thinking of.... ladybee; digi; A&R; barbie; MumTum; Knitter, Kat2504

WIW i have my 20 week scan next week, once i've passed that and everything ok then i'll officially move over.

Goodluck for the scannees today.

I have to go back to the dentist for him to remove my filling to see why it's getting so sensitive and then refill it.

Morning All...

Good luck to all scannees today.... Hope news is all good.

Well done on joining the grad thread, WIW. I will join after my 20 week scan but might join their "waiting to join list" if my consultant can check the heartbeat on Weds. Will be snooping on on the thread though to check on you WIW as our DDs are so close. Will be PMing you later WIW re Dubai.

Got an achey lower tum - guess it's just stretchiness. Desk chairs also aching my lower back. I asked HR about a back support - bet they tell me I have to provide my own.

Just changing my edd after 12wk scan:

Monday 13th June LIST

Lovemysleep 22+6 EDD 11/10/11
Tunnocksteacake 21+1 EDD 24/10/11
IreneHeron 20+6 EDD 23/10/11
CEP 19+2 EDD 5/11/11 - 20 wk scan 22/6/11
Hils74 18+5 EDD 8/11/11
Katherine2008 18+4 EDD 10/11/11 next scan 23/6/11
Haffertee 18+2 EDD 14/11/11
Ninunina: 17+6 EDD 15/11/11
delilahbelle 17+4 EDD 22/11/11
Mattsmama 17+4 EDD 17/11/11
CollieandPup 17+1 EDD 20/11/11 next scan 20/06/11
Banana87 16+6 EDD 22/11/11
LaraMi 16+3 EDD 25/11/11 Next scan 20/07/11
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy 16+0 EDD 26/11/11
Blackkat 15+0 EDD 5/12/11 Next scan 26/07/11
Jigglebum 14+4 EDD 8/12/11
Minnie74 14+2 EDD 12/12/11
Lucky 13+0
Dooscooby 12+4 EDD 22/12/11
Harassed 12+4 EDD 22/12/11
Hadrian 11+4 Next scan - 13/06/11
Youremindmeofthebabe 10+4 scan 22/6/11
Updiffed 10+2
Bump 9+2
Hairylights 9+0
Mamarara 8+4
Lily06 8+3
Pigletmania 8+2
Laylasmummy09 8+1
willitbe 4+3

On the grads thread too:

Nickster 32+2 EDD 7/8/11
Orange 28+2 EDD 4/9/11
Wombat33 27+2 EDD 10/09/11
Daisybell 26+4 EDD 14/09/11
Pinkfondantfancy 25+2 EDD 25/09/11
Tiggersreturn (TTT) 25+0 EDD 26/09/11
mamapower 24+3 EDD 28/9/11
ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts 24+2 EDD 01/10/11
Emoo 23+4 EDD 7/10/11
Onions 21+0 EDD 24/10/11
Velvetcu 20+6 EDD 25/10/11 next scan 22/06/11
MummyAbroad 19+3 EDD 4/11/11
wombatinwaiting: 16+4 EDD 24/11/11

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping

Thinking of.... ladybee; digi; A&R; barbie; MumTum; Knitter, Kat2504

I have a edd twin - dooscooby

Sorry I haven't been on. We finally had our internet installed on Friday, and it's rubbish!! The signal is dropping in and out, and the bloody router is now completely knackered. So they're sending out a new one. Plus they haven't installed the internet to the tv box, so they have to come out again. Not impressed at all!!!

Is it just Hadrian scanning today?? Good luck lovely!

Lara you should ask for a H&S review of your work station. They have to do this, and I think they have to supply anything else you need. No chance here.....but you have to try!!!

Collie how're you feeling today lovely?? I've also put on weight comfort eating after the two mc's, but was a size 14 to start to start with and am now a 16. I hate it!! I feel really yucky tbh. I'd stopped exercising before Christmas when I was feeling awful with ms, then of course lost the baby and couldn't have felt less like exercising. Dh is really supportive, but he's lost tonnes of weight in the last 15 months as he's taken up boxing, and the weight has dropped off him! It doesn't help when he's examining his tummy for a 6 pack..... The birth centre here offer preg pilates after 13 weeks, so I'm going to phone about that later. I also recommend moving into a 3 storey house!! It's killing me, but it's got to be doing some good !

cep lovely to see you posting!!! How's ds's sleep now??

jiggle any news??

I'm planning on telling my boss today, but not looking forward to his reaction or the atmosphere I'm worried it's going to create! Any tips??!

Good luck hadrian today.

willitbe glad your temps have gone back up. Have you stopped temping now??

today I have my booking in appointment. The joys. An arm less of blood and a rehash of the last miscarriage. Wonder if it's the same MW as last time. She was ok.

Chipping in about the exercise, it should be fine for non or low impact, ie swimming, static cycling, cross-trainer use, yoga, pilates etc. I was running a lot in training for a marathon before and stopped running, but mainly as a precautionary Measure. If you are keeping your heart rate below 140 bpm in the first trimester then that should be ok. I am still going to pilates and cycling when I have the chance, but it's difficult as I feel really faint sometimes! I'm going to have to up the intensity slightly once I start feeling less pukey and rough though, Labour is quite a work out!

Harassed I am very jealous of your 3 storey house. I have aspirations to live in a 3 storey house. I love the style.

Sorry people have had bleeding worries over the weekend. It does seem so very common, but horrible to have to go through.

waves to all, have a nice day! It's peeing it down here, unfortunately.

hello everyone i just wanted to wish scannees good luck today, ive not posted for a while as net was playing up and every time i wrote a post and clicked the post button it vanished, anyway im having a rubbish time atm (like a few others on here) ive had spotting on and off for a few weeks and went for a scan at 6+3 and all was fine but now my symptoms have eased off so much im thinking its all over, ive got a priavte scan booked in for tomorrow at 10 30, i should be 8+2 but im not feeling very confident at all x