Freak Out Room For Those Newly Updiffed After M/C Part VII

[Blackkat]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
6. And the presence of symptoms.
7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.

10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

Hi ladies, Sorry i've been absent the last couple of weeks, was just freaking and after Dach and Ollis didn't want to come and moan over something silly. Heard hb at dr's today so am currently reassured. am thinking of maybe even posting something on the grads page.

I hope you are all ok.

congrats to all the great scan news. goodluck for those coming up soon.

welcome and congrats to the new ladies.

Great news about the scan updiffed. wiw looks like we're both scanning tomorrow - fingers crossed for us both.

Did anyone else get increasing paranoia approaching 12 weeks? I never made it past 11, or in fact 7 in reality as that's when development of the last one stopped. I kind of feel like 12 weeks is more mythical achievement than an actual healthy baby right now - it's like I don't believe I'll ever be able to tell people officially, without feeling it's premature, or fraudulent or I don't know what. Slap me now ladies - I know 12 is no guarantee about anything either!

I also called DH in a panic earlier about the fact that if the scan isn't good tomorrow, we've only got 1 working day to sort it out before the flight to the family wedding. I don't even know what they do at 12 weeks - is it still EPRC? I don't think I can bare to think about it - is that silly and short-sighted of us? I know if it's bad then the chances are we won't even be going to the damn wedding...SLAP ME NOW!

OK, for those who asked about it - the study I menionted was published in March this year and it was based on UK women. I'll not post any of it here as it might make depressing reading for some and I don't want to stress people out. You can read a summary at psychcentral.com/news/2011/03/03/depression-after-miscarriage-common-even-years-later/24111.html if you're interested.

Welcome to purple too - hope I've not scared you off being a stresshead!

Thanks girls :)

Goes off seaching for Appletiser :o

I've missed you sweetie. Glad you're ok. I've posted a couple pf times on the Grads thread, in an attempt to be positive and think about the future, although quickly adds i'm not quite ready to move over - just incase i get bumped to the grads list

updiffed YAY for fantastic scan news. Soak up the moment! x

purpletoes welcome, so sorry for you previous loss but YAY for your BFP. Totally understandable that you are freaking out, but you're in very good company. I was the same early on, totally convinced there was nothing in there or even worse was ectopic, but i'm 16+3 today!

Milky sorry about your nightmare, they are very unsettling. Hope your scan on monday gives you lots of reassurance.

lara house move sounds exciting!! Although totally understand your fear, buying a new car was enough freak out for me!!! Personally i think a move after would be ok too, although maybe not straight after you have the baby. I hope to move to a bigger family house but am awaiting till after i go back to work, so as to be able to afford more on the mortage. But i also think the idea of moving pre-birth and being settled into new home with new baby sounds lush.

wiw good luck for scan tomorrow. Is a scan at this stage standard over there or is it as ressurance?

Back from mw apt. Seriously is every appointment uneverful and underwhelming? I was barely in there 10 mins. I did listen to hb, but as i have one at home it wasn't the special moment i suppose it is for others who don't - although i never tire of hearing it! Just peed on a stick - aparently i'm showing white blood cells so likley to have an infection on the way (great). No bloods though?!

Picked car up too - That was a bit more exciting. So have nice new shiney car parked outside the house

Its absolutely chucking buckets here are the moment - even had hail this morning WTF! Where is summer???

PS thanks ladies for the maxi dress advice. Think i'm going to treat myself to that dress as i can get it delivered next day.

Doo - paranoia is normal! I think most of us continue to panic (see my earlier panic around not putting the house on the market until after the 20 week scan!) I was a wreck before my 12 week scan and spent the entire day before fretting on MN. Try to keep yourself busy today. What time is your scan? (early I hope...)

doo No the fear of 12 weeks is completley normal. I found out at 12 weeks, although it had stopped growing at 9 weeks so i approached both stages with dread. Just keep trying to remember your last positive scan - it was only a week or so ago right? Remember the odds are in your favour. And no, getting past 12 weeks brings no guarantees, but then neither does 16wk, 20 or even 30wk. (i'm not doing a very good jb of reassuring you am i?) Basically what i'm trying to say is that its a milestone though, and the risks of something going wrong drop significantly after that.

I still have days when i really can't still believe i'm actually pregnant, let alone it will end in a baby. But FWIW, i found that i became much more accepting and optimistic as the weeks ticked bay after that 12 week stage. Good luck tomorrow x

doo it's totally normal, i'm still freaking now, don't add to your worry by thinking it's somehow wrong to feel like that. i freaked before each of my dates and having the scans around the same time was really weird, but reassuring. I now have my final date (due date) to pass next week, not sure how i'm going to be to be honest. i'm hoping when i have my 20 week scan in 2 weeks i can finally relax. Keeping fx for you for tomorrow what time is it?

WIW fx for you to hon. I'm glad you're doing so well.

cep when is your DD? Its a shame its not after your scan but at least you had a doppler fix today. Sorry about the worry you've had after your ds bashing into you. Must have been very worrying and reminds me of chloes story. but glad you're ok.

My due date is looming too - next month. I really thought i'd be ok about it passing if I was updiffed again but i don't think i am. Seeing my pregnant neighbour last week really reminded me of our loss and that our baby should be here soon.

To add Doo, I think I've become a bit more positive since I "came out" (about the pg I hasten to add). The wider world is so oblivious to what we've been through and their certainty about the pg is oddly reassuring. Be it colleagues commenting on my growing bump or neighbours sharing their pg / birth wisdom, it all adds to the general feeling that the pg is real as well as making me extremely terrified sometimes in case something does still go wrong

Collie - my MW appointments so far have been terribly underwhelming... I too was barely in there. She asked me if I had any Qs and I said no (figured I'd prefer to google stuff myself, ask on MN or ask my GP).

Remind me which car you went for.. (and the colour please!)

collie It's the 16th. It's a bit weird cause i'm keeping an eye on the old june thread and the babies have started coming. In a way i'm kind of detached from it at the moment. (but the i thought i was at the dr's till i heard the hb and burst into tears with relief, obviously more worried than i even realised) but goodness knows what i'll be like on the day. I know, chloes sad story played on my mind a lot as well. must be awful to have someone to "blame" and i was just so worried that it would have been ds. (not that i would of actually blamed him ofcourse) What date's yours? have you got anything special planned to "distract"?

What was this maxi dress?

lara Its a Nissan Quashai Acenta - Cafe Latte colour. See here for example

Glad i'm not the only one underwhelmed then. I did ask a question, about making a decison on where to give birth, but she didn't really answer - apart from saying, if you want a birthing center experience, you might as well have a hb - which i could have predicted.
Back to Google and MN it is!

cep i'll be thinking of you next Thursday then. I can't believe you torture yourself by following the June thread. Did you join it before you mc? I only found mn after my mc but i have had a quick look at the July thread, but i can't bare it. Aww bless you for burtsing into tears, but its hardly suprising. Poor you. I'm so glad its ok.

My dd is July 16th, so a while off. Nothing planned yet, but i might make some plans closer to the time. I had hoped to be away, but we are not going till the last week in July now.

this dress for a family 'do' on saturday! (any excuse)

Wednesday 8th June LIST

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts 23+4 EDD 01/10/11
Lovemysleep 22+1 EDD 11/10/11
Tunnocksteacake 20+3 EDD 24/10/11
IreneHeron 20+1 EDD 23/10/11
CEP 18+4 EDD 5/11/11 - 20 wk scan 22/6/11
Hils74 18+0 EDD 8/11/11
Katherine2008 17+6 EDD 10/11/11 next scan 23/6/11
Haffertee 17+4 EDD 14/11/11
Ninunina: 17+1 EDD 15/11/11
delilahbelle 16+6 EDD 22/11/11
Mattsmama 16+6 EDD 17/11/11
CollieandPup 16+3 EDD 20/11/11 next scan 20/06/11
Banana87 16+1 EDD 22/11/11
wombatinwaiting: 15+6 EDD 24/11/11 next scan 9/6/11
LaraMi 15+5 EDD 25/11/11 Next scan 20/07/11
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy 15+2 EDD 26/11/11 next scan 09/06/11
Blackkat 14+2 EDD 5/12/11 Next scan 26/07/11
Jigglebum 13+6 EDD 8/12/11
Minnie74 13+4 EDD 12/12/11
Lucky 12+2
Dooscooby 11+6 EDD 22/12/11 next scan 9/6/11
Harassed 11+2 EDD 26/12/11 next scan 10/6/11
Hadrian 10+6 Next scan - 13/06/11
Youremindmeofthebabe 9+6 scan 22/6/11
Updiffed 9+4
Bump 8+4
Hairylights 8+2
Mamarara 7+6
Lily06 7+5
Pigletmania 7+4
Laylasmummy09 7+3
willitbe 3+5

On the grads thread too:

Nickster 31+4 EDD 7/8/11
Orange 27+4 EDD 4/9/11
Wombat33 26+4 EDD 10/09/11
Daisybell 25+6 EDD 14/09/11
Pinkfondantfancy 24+4 EDD 25/09/11
Tiggersreturn (TTT) 24+1 EDD 26/09/11
mamapower 24+ EDD 28/9/11
Emoo 22+6 EDD 7/10/11
Onions 20+2 EDD 24/10/11 Next Scan 07/06/11
Velvetcu 20+1 EDD 25/10/11 next scan 22/06/11
MummyAbroad 18+5 EDD 4/11/11

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping

Thinking of.... ladybee; digi; A&R; barbie; MumTum; Knitter, Kat2504

collie yes, i joined during last pg. it's a bit sad but i'm so pleased for the lovely ladies i met on there. That car looks huge. The dress is gorgeous enjoy your do. the dates are getting here so quickly aren't they?

Just had my pre-holiday work handover meeting. I'm off tomorrow for the scan and then in on Friday (assuming all is well!). Thanks so much to you all for the reassurance. Last scan was 10+1 and all looked fine, so logic (not that I possess any) would suggest things should be ok tomorrow.

My appt is 9am, so that's great from a 'less time to stress in the morning perspective' as well as a 'less likely to have to wait for too long in a room full of heavily pg women perspective'!

I think I'm more nervous cos I've been very lucky this time in that I've been under the RMC Consultant. She's done all my scans up to now and I've kind of associated good stuff with her and bad stuff with anyone else clinical! So tomorrow is with a sonographer and they remind me of previous times and bad news....but hopefully not anymore!

What you say about coming out makes sense lara. If all is well tomorrow I don't think I will come out to anyone, but the fact that I can would feel like a massive milestone!

Really like the warehouse dress collie

Funny about you looking at the jue in june thread cep - yellowtomato and broughthimround (who you may remember) on the other conception thread I'm on have also been looking lately too (who are both updiffed too!). My DD is friday and scan tomorrow. I have been a bit of an up and down mess this week and hoping that tomorrow will reduce the anxiety. Glad that you got to hear the hb today.

You're in slap-free territory doo as you have only 24 hours til scan - mentalling is permitted (nay, mandatory I almost think!) Glad you have an early one, mine is not til 4pm. I have a flotation pool experience in the morning so hoping that may chill me out a bit. Thanks for posting that link - will have a read later. Totally with you on the association with good stuff and bad stuff with certain people and places but I've been told the jinx pixies in your area have already been told by your sonographer to get knotted . Will be thinking of you x

Good luck with your scans tomorrow Ladies.... (Flotation pool sounds fab, WIW)

Love the car, Collie - will be so exciting to drive it when there is a baba in a car seat!

Logging off now so til tomorrow!

congrats on the good scan news updiffed

wiw i do remember them, oh that's good news, really pleased for them, please pass on my congrats. i'm glad that you'll get to see the baby before your dd, at least you'll have that reassurance. fx for you.

scooby what a week you have. Good luck for scan! Thanks for link I shall read later. I never felt 'properly pg' with my daughter due to messed up mc head. I kept thinking oh I'll have a pg massage (or buy a pg pillow etc etc) when I am 'properly pg' and don't feel like a fraud - I never got there so I never did any nice pg things. Sorry you feel like that - hope the scan provides some reassurance for you.

collie that dress is gorgeous! What was chloes story?!

Hi purple after my first mc I got pg the month after (1 period in between) I mentalled for 9 months - and now have an 18 month old daughter. Hope you have a similar experience (bar the mentalling) and a healthy and happy 9 months.

Sorry to hear you are freaking milky - the nightmares don't help the mentalling at all do they? Hope you get some reassurance on Monday.

Also good luck for scan wiw!

Brilliant news on scan updiffed that is great.

I moved 3 weeks before I gave birth last time Lara it was a good excuse to supervise and not do any work!

Hope everyone else is ok.

Cep so lovely to hear from you - sorry you've been mentalling but so glad you heard the HB.

Wishing WIW, Scooby and Izzy best of luck for scans tomorrow, will be thinking of you all.

to everyone else

Hi thanks everyone for the reassurance it is just so different from first time just can't feel excited. Haven't otganised Gp yet either just on tenterhooks.

Nice to know it can be positive mamarara.

Good luck everyone on scans tomorrow and good news to all.

scooby that article was v interesting, thanks so much for posting. Suddenly I don't feel like such a miserable tw*t after knowing that ithas such long lasting affects and affects so many people.

Good luck scanees for tomorrow!

Evening all, quick note to say a huge hooray to hairy and updiffed for great scans, I'm so chuffed for you. I never say 'chuffed' in RL, don't know what's come over me!

doo my 12 week scan is on Monday and I'm feeling very nervous. I keep thinking how unbelievably cruel it would be to hear bad news now. I might treat myself to a pedicure or something before Monday to try and take my mind off it. Wishing you all the very best for tomorrow.

collie my DD is 27th July and am not sure what I'll do. I've still got my old scan photos hidden away in a drawer so I might buy a nice box and store them away properly - and take a moment to say goodbye.

Waves to cep, so glad everything is OK. And welcome purple!

Morning all and good luck to fellow scannees today. Forgot to say collie that I think a 16wk scan is standard here and I'm rather glad it is as I feel so un-pg right now (other than rather unattractive bulge) that I'm desperate for some reassurance. I've been feeling so low this week, I'm almost wondering if it's antenatal depression.... I'm going to see how I feel after today's scan (assuming all is ok of course) and if I'm still feeling down, I'll go and see the clinical psychologist I saw after mc2 who definitely helped. It's all about taking positive forward action steps

Thanks for the article doo - like mara, it has made me feel a bit more normal!

Awww WIW - sends lots of hugs on the first Emirates flight from Heathrow to Dubai.... I can totally emphathise with how you're feeling. I feel exactly the same (as Collie knows I posted a thread on the pg section this week asking if anyone else felt distinctly un-pg too at this stage). It's such an in-between time for us. All the symptoms of the first trimester have practically (or totally gone), a bulge has formed (although not mahoosive) but there are none of the obvious signs that come with later pg. My scan isn't for ages and I feel like a total fraud. But everyone around me is congratulating me and asking if I'm excited etc.

I hope you feel like you're walking on sunshine after your scan... Please let me know later how it goes - would actually absorb some of your happiness as I won't have any peek of bean until 20th July .