Freak Out Room For Those Newly Updiffed After M/C Part VII

[Blackkat]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
6. And the presence of symptoms.
7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.

10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

Hello everyone. Well I've been freaking out like freaking out was going out of fashion.

We had a private scan tonight. To my utter utter shock and delight, weeny is there, with a strong heartbeat, bang on the right size for dates and moving! Also good blood flow seen and a healthy yolk sac.

I had got everything ready to not be at work for the rest of the week, pjs ready for hospital, supplies bought for next few days, all ready for the inevitable bad news.

I am a little more hopeful but we aren't out of the woods yet of course by a long shot having lost one after this stage . But I am hoping I will find strength to be more positive for the next few weeks - twelve weeks is the next goal.

If she is a girl and she makes it her name is going to be a variation on Hope.

hairy fab news about the scan. It is such a relief isn't it.

doo have to try the fruit pastille lollies-i've a mini addiction to soleros at the moment. And fresh orange juice even though it gives me heartburn!

blackkat dh's holiday leave sounds a nightmare. You must be proud though- and most firemen i know i really nice blokes too (not that i"m an expert obviously!)

lara think you're right about the fitted clothes- any floaty things just hang off my gigantic boobs and make me look worse! At the minute tighter stuff does make me look fat though. Looking forward to a few weeks time when bump is a bit more obv and not just the muffin top from so many crisps!

willitbe welcome and fx for a sticky 9 months-sounds like you've had a rough few years x

Had the results of my NT scan today- 1 in 50000 so really chuffed. Still not ready to buy anything yet though, despite my mum telling me she's already started filling a box of essentials! Feel bad for not being as excited as she is- maybe if I get to 20 weeks I'll relax a bit.

Yay hairy fab news!!!

I'm another one with Hope earmarked (as a middle name though) for this one if we make it and it's a girl. That or Faith anyway. I suspect these names are more popular among women who've had a long and rocky road to get there than among the general population! Can't think of anything similarly appropriate for a boy though...

Congrats to all the other scanners too - busy week this week!!

Sorry x-posts, great NT results Minnie !

Hairylights - that is great news about the scan. I have chatted with you on other threads before, but under a different name. I am so pleased that this time things look so positive for you.

Collieandpup - re time off work, whilst it is unpaid you can even take time off for aquanatal classes I found out! I would recommend going to them if you can. Also yes antenatal relaxation classes are different from the antenatal classes, the relaxation classes are as they say.... teaching relaxation with a bump! I went to a couple but found the aquanatal more useful personally. Many antenatal classes are available in evenings / weekends so do not necessarily interfere with work. I hope this helps?

So far I am feeling quite positive about this pregnancy but it is early days yet so I am glad that I have folks here to chat with!

hairy that's brilliant news!

Minnie I'm 20 weeks and freaking big time! I haven't bought anything at all.

Quick pop in post to say hooray for hairy

Thanks everyone - sorry for mememe post.

willitbe hello - and thank you and welcome - I'm wondering who you are!

Really great news Hairy :)

blackhat hope treatment goes well for your dad. My mum has just come out the other side of ops, radio etc it's really hard - so sending good, healthy vibes.

Hi willitbe fingers crossed for you. You are v brave to stay positive after such an awful time. Hope this is a v boring And successful 9 months for you.

collie dress sounds lovely!

hairy that is such brilliant news about the scan!

Hello to everyone else.

I woke up feeling a bit more positive today. Then my baby app's daily update was about how mc are really common and blah blah sad sad. So went from ok to mental in a nanosecond. Honestly. This is ridiculous. I wonder if there's any research on post mc pg women suffering from mild depression. I understand proper depression is very serious and i am not trying to be flippant but there must be something when you spend your days in utter terror, a looming sense of doom and overwhelming paranoia. I know other pg ladies who are all fluffy bunnies and baby gros from the moment they poas. I really wish I could get a bit of that joy. Maybe in a few weeks.

mamarara sorry you are feeling mental - stupid app! My sister went for her 12 week scan yesterday and has plastered fb with the pictures while I have let my pg go largely unannounced so I understand your frustrations. A study would be interesting, I would like to track the progress of the children too to see if it has any effect.

Morning ladies
hairy I'm so pleased for you-been wondering where you were and well done on plucking up the courage to scan.
Welcome willitbe -I echo all the lovely wishes for a boring normal pregnancy!

Re the discussion re depression post m/c - there was indeed a study out about this quite recently. It hit the BBC too - can't remember the authors but the message was that women who go on to have healthy pregnancies can unfortunately remain feeling very down and traumatised by their experiences. I shall look it up later when I get to work - god knows what time I will get there as I had a terrible nights sleep last night. Don't think I could be any more worried about the big looming 12 wk scan tomorrow, the wedding anniversary at the weekend and the long haul flight on Monday!!! Can't even begin to think what we'll do if it's not good news.....

Morning lovelies,

willitbe so sorry i somehow missed your first post. Welcome to the thread and congratulations on your bfp. So sorry for your losses, it sounds like you have really been through it so i hope this is a super sticky bean for you. Thanks for the info on ante nate relaxation, i was thinking it was something like that - i get to go to 4 in PAID time !!

Hairy Yippee for great scan. Sooo pleased all was good although very at you having pjs in bag and everything.

Mamara sorry you were mentalling yesterday, stupid app! How are you today?

Minnie excellent news on the NT results. Its natural for others to be more excited than you. My mum barely said a word about this pregnancy until the private scan i had at 11 weeks and then that was it, she couldn't contain herself. I think for others, once you have that first reassurance around 12 weeks, theres the assumption all will be ok, whereas we still stress about all the other eventualities.

hope the mentalling is at a minimum and all is ok.

I have just realised i have a family 'do' on saturday - 25th wedding anniversary and NOTHING to wear. Have been debating a maxi dress for a while and know some of you lovely ladies wear them. Do i need a maternity one or will a normal one surfice/last? I probably haven't gpt time to go and find a mat one but i did see a normal one a few months ago that i liked - this one Do you think this will fit / last? Its expensive so don't want to buy it if it wont last the summer.

MW apt this afternoon. Also picking new car up

Hairy whoop! whoop! whoop!

Wonderful news and another big step in the right direction. I love the naming idea too.

May the remainder of the 12 week wait be extremely short and exceptionally boring for you my lovely

Hi slightly freaking out here! Had a mc in April at 10 weeks have now discovered I am 4w5d. My dp is also freaking thinking it is too soon. I am not convinced it is going to stick. Mc was first pregnancy and we had been trying for 9 months beforehand. Sorry to unload just needed to say it out loud to someone.

hairylights big big congratulations on the scan! Sounds brilliant!

I had my first nightmare about this pregnancy ending last night. It was horrible. I think I had it because I wasn't feeling pregnant yesterday and kept pressing my tummy to 'feel' my uterus. I kept saying to myself I have lost this one too - I feel pretty useless right now. Luckily I will find out on monday how things are.

Sorry about the depressing post. mamarara I know that I certainly have felt more unhappy with each pregnancy since my first mc. Even seeing the hb isn't enough to make me feel happy anymore. There is a constant fear within me.

Hi purpletoes - this is definitely the right place to unload, there are loads of us here all going through the same thing freaking out! I hope this pregnancy sticks for you and feel free to unload anytime!

Hairy Great news on the scan and great NT results Minnie good to hear good news

Welcome Purple here really is a place to share you concerns and fears.

Milky I dreamt I was having an ectopic pregnancy last night, and have felt unsettled since. I know it's not true bcs I've seen the baby and all is well. Bizarre isn't it

Scooby I'll be interested to see that report when you get chance to send the link. Have everything crossed for you tomorrow so you can enjoy your pampering aboard Singapore Airlines.

Any news from any other scanners, Onions, WIW, Updiffed?

Collie good luck with m/w and car pick up. FWIW I got a maxi dress last year that I love. I reckon me and DH could both fit in it actually, and everyone thought I was pregnant last year when I wore it. So I reckon normal ones, if it's empire line cut should be fine, just make sure your bra looks ok under!

Izzy hope you're doing ok??

Lara you must be busy at work today

to everyone else

Morning Ladies!

Lovely to have come on a couple of hours later than normal and so lots of juicy posts to read...

Hello to Purple and you're in like-minded company - we're all freakers here. As for only being 4w5d, we have all been there! Take a look at the grads thread and you'll see a whole long list of lovely ladies with beautiful babies...

Collie - I second Blackkat. All my maxi dresses are normal ones and as they have the empire line, they're fine. Stretchy material looks more flattering than the lineny cotton ones (which make me look like a tent). I find the stretchy ones cling in the right places and have a nice swoosh. I'd also advise plainer designs. When I went a bit maxi-crazy last summer I bought some really gawdy ones and I look like Mrs Joseph and the technicolour dream coat. You can also hide the bra by wearing a little cardie. The one you sent us is lovely. If you want to spend less, TK Maxx have heaps.

Blackkat - trust me - far from busy. Weds is a working from home day (coincidentally the day that DH also works from home!!) so we have passed the morning doing not very much. Well - I say not very much. We have the developed the foundations of a plan (as I have not much else to do, I will bore you all with it - apologies in advance for spiel). We live in a pretty rough up and coming area of south London. There's lots of regeneration going on and it's becoming pretty trendy and the commute to central London only takes 12 mins. However, as we have discovered, it's not really a place to raise a bean. It's fine for the baby years but schools are awful and I don't want my little ones growing up speaking "Streatham street". Private schools here are probably beyond our financial reach unless I work all the hours that God sends (I'd like to work part time after mat leave). So - we've decided that by moving 8 miles south into Purley we can lower our mortgage substantially, but a much bigger house with a lovely big garden (rather than the yard urban garden we have now) and Bean will have a much happier childhood with access to really good (and much more affordable) schools. Anyways - DH wants us to just put the house on the market today. I am much more reticent and a) don't want to even consider doing anything until the 20 week scan and b) ideally wait until a few months after Bean is born. I mean, imagine how horrific it'd be if we upped and moved and then I MC'd.

Blah - spiel over....

Lara sounds like a plan. I'd say put the house on the market now. Better to move in advance rather than much later or when Bean is newly arrived (moving in December/January is grim, I speak from removal men sliding over with boxes and breaking things experience)
Even if you need to change your plans further down the line then it's easy to. Given where you're wanting to move to I'd say even if you had to move again (which won't happen) there will be lots of like-minded people who'd want to take the property of your hands for all the reasons you mention.
Anyway, it will take at least 2/3 weeks to get your house on the market, sort the details, negotiate with agents, etc etc, so by the time you're back from Dubai you would have time to sort it at and be at 20 weeks. Will also give you something else to mental think about

Welcome purpletoes and congrats on the bfp. Plenty of hand-holding here and reassurance about all the things that are sent to try us.

Hope the mw appt and car picking-up both go well collie. Love the maxi dress!

I'm thrilled for you on the scan hairy -your post (while sad at times) was lovely to read. And good news for you too minnie on your NT results.

Would be v interested to read that info dooscooby if you get a chance to find it. Since mc2, I do feel as if I have lost a certain amount of my "happygoluckyness" and so many moments of anxiety and gloom during this pg.

Thanks for asking about scan blackkat - in fact it's now tomorrow since my ob/gyn broke her vetebrae and is out of action for next 5/6 weeks. The good thing is that it's at the fab place where we had a very positive 12 week scan rather than at the horrid hopsital with bad memories.

He he lara - I think we're following each other. I was born and brought up in Sanderstead so know Purley very well! Lots of nice green space close by too.... go on, put the house on the market!

OMG WIW - you, me and Blackkat are actually triplets! We're looking at Sanderstead too but I didn't say that as I didn't think anyone would have heard of it! It's lovely.... What's your view on the schools if I may ask? Did you have a child-like childhood? (!!!!!) The thought of raising a little one here is petrifying but Sanderstead / Purley are more like where I grew up(Cheshire).

Blackkat and WIW - you're both right... Maybe I should reconsider and do it now... Gah!

Where is blackkat from then? Schools are generally v good in Sanderstead - Ridgeway in particular has v good rep. Personally I think Sanderstead is nicer than Purley, but train connections not as good. And yes, I loved growing up there and went to v nice (but private) school where the focus was on producing "well-rounded young ladies" rather than academic ambition. I am definitely winning on the "well-rounded" stakes right now!

Hairy Yay! SO happy for you!

I also had a great scan today :D Baby measured 9 weeks and was perfectly normal and healthy. Normal amount of fluid etc etc.

I am so so so relieved

Now I have to try and relax......

Sorry - misunderstanding... I don't think Blackkat is from "those parts" but she seems to twin with me on just about everything else!

Well done on scan Updiffed - this is the best thread in the history of threads. Long may it continue!

ps - am super rounded too... Quite liking my beer belly!

Wonderful news updiffed - have a glass of something cold and sparkly!