arsing hell, this is a new one even for me...

[chocolatecoveredlissielou]

okeydokey, my period was due on friday, sure enough it showed up friday morning. it was all average etc, but without any period pains. carried on bleeding saturday until about 6pm. then it stopped. nothing yesterday. nothing today. Ive had none of the normal stuff that goes with my period (headaches, backache, cramps, moodswings) and Im a bit worried. I dont feel pg and refuse to get my hopes up, but this is a bit weird tbh.

I know there is nothing I can say to help.

If you haven't had a scan in a while it might be worth going for it anyway, for them to check uterine lining etc and see if they can see any active infection areas. I have refused scans on a few of my m/c's, so I know that to put yourself through it might just make things worse, but I also know I don't think clearly in the early days of a m/c and just wanted to suggest it as a possiblity.

I hope the house you went to today was good.

thanks all, i feel utterly wretched. thats it now isnt it? Im going to have to accept that I will never have another baby. ds will remain an only child and I will have wasted 5.5 years of my life trying to create the family that we wanted.

galway, i cant face it. I dont want to spend my morning sitting in a room surrounded by pregnant women and posters of babies. Im even going to pull out of the meal my mum has planned for lilbro and his DW when they get back fromn germany on monday because SIL's dsis will be there with her 3 dc's and she is just turned 20. fuck that.

sorry, I know i sound bitter and I try not to be but Im exhausted. been up all night, up early this morning and I feel awful.

Sorry you're feeling so awful :( Also sorry about the hcg results, is there a chance they could rise? How low were they? Don't blame you for not wanting to make the meal, go easy on yourself. Still keeping everything crossed for you.

[comes up and wraps arms around Lissie in a giant bear hug]

oh lizzie, not posted before but big hug and loads of love to you, know how your feeling and where you are at now but that's for another day, just wanted to send my love to you x

God Lissie so sorry, I was amazed when I read this thread the other day and so wanted to see it all work out ok for you - not least because as another recurrent MCer I live in hope of seeing positive stories for those suffering similar shitness (only obviously, so much worse in your case).

I know you live a long way away, but could you ask your GP to refer to Dr Shehata on the NHS? He's at Epsom & St Heliers in Surrey and should do the immunology tests and prescribe steroids etc if he believes they'll help. It might be a bit of a wait, but better than being trapped by not being able to afford private investigations or with another consultant unwilling to explore those aspects?

So sorry - I know you are feeling hopeless right now, but might this be a possibility?

So so sorry lissie, was really hoping for positive news for you. No-one should have to go through all this. Hope you are being looked after. x

Oh lissie :(:(:(

Shit.

Am very sorry

Lissie - whilst this might not be the right time to ask about it now, I cannot understand, given everything you have been through, why your consultant is so unwilling to listen to you? Apologies as I don't know all your history and I don't want to say something insensitive. Surely you have grounds for asking for another consultant - different hospital?

I cannot even imagine what this must be doing to your mental health. It seems so unfair that they are not willing to listen.

Aw crap! lissie there's nothing I can say but thinking of you and your dh.

Life can be so bloody unfair

Oh Lissie, you're being so strong. I really don't know what to say. Apart from sending vibes at your cons. Why won't he do anything??? Thinking of you still.

Oh lissie I am so so sorry to read this. No words to make you feel better I'm afraid, just wanted you to know I'm thinking of yu. x

oh lissie I am so so sorry. I wish there was something better to say. Thinking of you.

Lissie - You don't sound bitter, just tired of it all.

I wish I could win the lottery this weekend and pay for any and every test and treatment for you.

Lissie - it makes me that the right treatment is only available for those with the money to afford it. I am sorry - this all sounds so hellishly awful I'm at a loss. If you're really at the point of leaving it, then I think everyone would understand completely. If not, take each and every possible step to get a doctor who will listen to you and be open to what YOU THINK!!

So sorry to hear this lissie. I've been following and hoping so much for you.

Thinking of you xxx

Oh Lissie, I have only just come online to see your horrid news :(. I think you need to speak to your GP and ask the protocol for changing consultants and if possible hospital, you don't need to be dealing with a stroppy old fart who hasn't updated his practices since 1912. You need a fresh start with someone who will listen to you.

I really am so sorry Lissie-bitter? I think that's a fairly appropriate emotion for right now.It's just shit...

If when you feel ready you want to contact me re Dr Shehata,options,costs,treatment etc I would be happy to talk to you,not as a success story but as someone just embarking on that option after a similar eight year roller coaster with a degree of hope that this may work for me.

big hugs angel xxxxx

thanks all. its pretty much game over now, and Im actually relieved. i dont have to wait anymore and hope. i cant even think about ttc again at the moment, ive had enough.

on the plus side, weve got the house. the third bedroom is going to be a study/playroom for ds. concentrating on that, I may not be able to grow a child, but I can make a nice home for the one I have.

Ohno. So sorry, Lissie. I was so hoping that this time would be the miracle.

Oh no. There was still a little bit of me that thought it might just hang on and be ok. I'm really sorry that it's over.