Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Come into the BESHt youth club in town, all you sad and bitter crones.

1000 replies

Ariesgirl · 28/03/2011 22:21

Enter the darkened youth club, where desperate 30-somethings who have been TTC since the eighties determinedly try to recapture their teenage years: their snogs with Darren from maths in the corner of the disco, the waft of Impulse, the slow dances at the end of the night, table tennis tournaments and the queue at the tuck shop for black jacks, Panda cola, fruit salads and Wham bars. Bop to Ride on Time, Love Shack and Vogue with Madonna and we'll see if all those sweaty hormones and pheromones can do the trick.

OP posts:
BarbiesBeaver · 30/03/2011 13:10

That is slightly smaller then the one I had macarena!

Um, just guessing about the boobs Cass honest .
I think my follicles are ungrateful whiney bitches and should man up and do their work properly .

cakeandcava · 30/03/2011 13:45

Blimey you lot get going during the day -worried about being 'found out' at work but nobody can see my screen so...

Hello Beaver always nice to meet another conoisseur of the dildocam. Sorry to hear about teflon womb and singular follicle :( Hoping it gets its act together soon!
I wasn't offered IUI as they didn't see the point (attempting updiff with lazy spermz) -going straight for the big guns.

Fanks for the acronym explanations -I've been stalking for a few weeks but there are so many of them I have no idea what half of it is all about Grin

owlbooty · 30/03/2011 13:47

I bet you they've sorted themselves out by Friday; the little buggers.

Macca I want that scone. Plus a forklift truck to cart it about. Not that it will last long with me around.

Ariesgirl · 30/03/2011 14:33

Do not pass Go.
Straight to IVF.

Or something. I have never played Monopoloy.

OP posts:
MadameBoo · 30/03/2011 14:33

Plz to not be scared Cass I just put BESH into search and searched only conception :(

Ariesgirl · 30/03/2011 14:38

I did the same for Malory Towers Boobs. Don't be afraid. I don't think you're a weirdo. Well I do, but not because of that Grin

OP posts:
MadameBoo · 30/03/2011 14:39

oh and BESH also Bitter as well as Barren. Since I and other ESH already have one child (plz to not hold it against us), it wasn't a fall on a cock situation last time and isn't this time either. So there.

MadameBoo · 30/03/2011 14:41

:o Rieanna

cakeandcava · 30/03/2011 18:12

Ooh, I might have to go watch the Breakfast Club again now. Been too long.

Rie funnily enough, 'do not pass go' is pretty much exactly what I thought too. Monopoly is taking over the world...

And I'll have some of that scone if there's any left!

InTheSunshine · 30/03/2011 20:14

Did someone mention a cream tea? When I am queen of the world I will make afternoon tea compulsory.

Barbs hope dildocam action reveals more ovary shizzle after you've spoken to the little fuckers.

Off to find the Malory Towers fred.....

MadameBoo · 30/03/2011 20:27

Barbie I've been a crap BESH and not said anyfink about the one lonely follicle. Soz, like. That's bloody rubbish.

Would it make you feel better to know I have a sympathy bruise on my belly for you? I walked into a table, when I was having a melodramatic crying fit on Saturday night. Blush

MadameBoo · 30/03/2011 20:28
Ivegotmrbitey · 30/03/2011 20:51

If there is going to be a youth club film night can I suggest Lost Boys, Point Break and Heathers? Thanks Grin

hope you have more obedient folicles on Friday BBQ

MadameBoo · 30/03/2011 21:00

Heathers is a film for grown ups Bitey. I luffs it muchly :o

InTheSunshine · 30/03/2011 21:26

Have just read lots of old Freds. BESH are fucking great. That's all.

rocketleaf · 30/03/2011 21:26

cupcakes I was also sent directly to IVF, did not pass IUI and did not collect Clomid, due to my advanced decrepitude (38) and the blokes under par White goods. Very luckily for us I was blessed with an FCFU win before getting any where near injection stage. here's to a similar ironidiff for you.

Ariesgirl · 30/03/2011 21:37

They ARE aren't they Sunny? There have been times when I have screeched and cried with mirth e.g. when "the cigar" was first coined and when CurlyCasper called it a ganger mange and stuff

OP posts:
InTheSunshine · 30/03/2011 21:48

I am sat on my own laughing at Malory Towers, The Tao of the BESH etc. Some people think posting on the tinterweb is weird, yes it might be odd to share way TMI with people you've perhaps never met but the palais keeps me sane & can always be relied upon to make me laugh.

I have womb ache. Dratting droid is expected tomorrow. Joy.

MadameBoo · 30/03/2011 22:00

Have you POASed in a fateful way yet lilmisssunshine? Or are you stronger then that. My piss sticks are becoming like pre-droid indicators. Just part of the routine now.

MadameBoo · 30/03/2011 22:06
cakeandcava · 30/03/2011 22:23

Anyone else watching St. Jamie's dream school right now? They are testing all the boys' white goods -thought they would be giving them results and all, which is potentially a bit harsh to have shared with the nation at 15yo, but apparently it is just for a science class, they are fertilising sea urchins or summat Hmm

also, FCFU? "the cigar"?

MadameBoo · 30/03/2011 22:26

Fertility Clinic Fuck You? I think? Rocket?

Cigaring. I asked the same question a fred or two back. Will check back for exact definition...

InTheSunshine · 30/03/2011 22:30

No stick action yet Boo due tomorrow or Fri and am certain bleeping fucker will arrive.

BunFizz 'cigar' to poke about with rolled up tissue to check for impending arrival of aforementioned droid..... Grin

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.
Swipe left for the next trending thread