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Conception

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Come into the BESHt youth club in town, all you sad and bitter crones.

1000 replies

Ariesgirl · 28/03/2011 22:21

Enter the darkened youth club, where desperate 30-somethings who have been TTC since the eighties determinedly try to recapture their teenage years: their snogs with Darren from maths in the corner of the disco, the waft of Impulse, the slow dances at the end of the night, table tennis tournaments and the queue at the tuck shop for black jacks, Panda cola, fruit salads and Wham bars. Bop to Ride on Time, Love Shack and Vogue with Madonna and we'll see if all those sweaty hormones and pheromones can do the trick.

OP posts:
Ariesgirl · 28/03/2011 22:22

Told it would be amongst the unfunnier offerings. Is there anything youth club-related I have forgotten?

I shall kick off proceedings by having a go on Lee.

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MadameBoo · 28/03/2011 22:37

Ps I likes it.

kat2504 · 28/03/2011 22:37

Having a crafty fag and some illicit booze round the back of the club. Meet you there with some vodka and a pack of ten. lets do the time warp again!

starcuntmole · 28/03/2011 23:24

Look, I've nickedborrowed my big sister's,

MadameBoo · 29/03/2011 09:12

Virgin Socks! :o

Ariesgirl · 29/03/2011 09:42

I knew it! A dud thread. Where the heck is everybody?

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owlbooty · 29/03/2011 09:49

Oh hang on, that was me at 15.

That's better.

owlbooty · 29/03/2011 09:50

I am also liking the virgin socks Grin

Ariesgirl · 29/03/2011 10:04

Lee is a shadow of his former self Boots Grin

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owlbooty · 29/03/2011 10:29

Where is Brownie ?

Nice work on the Lee-breakage Rie Grin

Ivegotmrbitey · 29/03/2011 11:10

Thank you aries!

I think I love you starry

I have drunk a cherry panda pop and am drunk on food colouring, nicotine and rampaging hormones. Let me make sure that the red tag is showing on my 501s, I want to make sure everyone knows they are Levi's. Quick squirt of Body shop ananya and I am off to look alluring by the ping pong table Grin

Ariesgirl · 29/03/2011 11:37

Look at all that grinnage. Anyone would think we were fluffy people who never said "cunt" and welcomed with open arms people who fall on a cock and get pregnant and say "hun".

Didn't ananya stink?

Ov has been and gone, far earlier than normal. Obviously this is the universe saying "Fuck off you silly bitch." Don't know if an imaginary Lee would have done the trick to be perfectly frank :( Am in a proper bad mood now. And the dehumidifier (a must in these parts) has packed up inexplicably. Bollocks.

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owlbooty · 29/03/2011 11:58

I reckon a shag's probably still a good idea; just in case. He doesn't need to be awake for that, does he? Yes? Bugger.

Ivegotmrbitey · 29/03/2011 12:38

Ananya reeked! But had a little more je ne sais quoi than white musk or heaeven forfend dewberry

Watch your fillings on that wham bar rambar

LaraMi · 29/03/2011 12:40

You DID IT Rie - you started the thread... that means the next one to get updiffed has to be you...!

owlbooty · 29/03/2011 12:51

OMG white musk, I remember it well. At least that smelt relatively okay, dewberry was fucking rancid.

I coveted the body shop smells. But never had any money to buy them.

I'm getting hideous teenage flashbacks here.

Ariesgirl · 29/03/2011 13:00

White Musk actually pongs. I used to love it. But it smells mainly of vodka

Ooh, another Body Shop smell we were keen on was vanilla. And remember the strawberry and apple soaps? I used to want to eat them. Once I actually licked one to see if it tasted nice. I was 16.

Lara lovely, don't get too excited. I started this thread with very ill grace, having done four before (a couple of which were fucking hilarious if I do say so myself - with Cass's help. Remember the paint chart?) and got nowhere. However I thank you for your enthusiasm.

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owlbooty · 29/03/2011 13:29

I luffed the paint chart. It was a work of absolute genius.

May I just add; batwing jumpers, far too much hairspray and blue eyeshadow.

So, not that different from the yoof of today then

BarbiesBeaver · 29/03/2011 13:36

. Oh I'm reeeally pissed honestly, I had some cider lollies and some swigs out of mum and dads drinks cabinet, I can barely stand up I'm so piiiiisssed. And I had my hair permed special, but I slept on one side of my head so it all sticks up and is flat one side and podle perm the other, but that's just cos you are jealous. D'you like my fingerless neon gloves?
.

Fanks for new fred AiryL.

BarbiesBeaver · 29/03/2011 13:37

Oooh batwing jumper crosspost! My nan knitted mine, meaning I was particularly lame.

Ariesgirl · 29/03/2011 13:47

This is what I wore circa 1991. Ahem:
cut off denim shorts (specially frayed) over 70 denier black tights.
DMs (of course)
An oversize Levellers or Manic Street Preachers tour t shirt with long sleeves underneath
My hair wouldn't have been tended at all (no change there in the intervening 20 years)
Make up was dark.
Red wine was the tipple of choice and I spent a lot of time in darkened attic bedrooms listening to moody youths trying to play guitars.

This was post youth club I think, which losed down in 1989 :(

Very glad you're here BB. Would you like a game of table tennis?

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BarbiesBeaver · 29/03/2011 16:15

Yes please Rie. Look I can shoot the ping pong ball out really fast! What do you mean you don't want to play anymore?

owlbooty · 29/03/2011 17:02
starcuntmole · 29/03/2011 17:53

ahh- you see I was being all innocent circa 1988....if we move forwards to 1991....fuck off, I'm wearing my army boots under my bridesmaid dress, and you can't stop me. Because I'm Angry (well god, the world's just a terrible place, and soo unjust, and women's rights and vegetarians and stuff, but you don't fucking understand cos you're OVER 30 you'd be Angry if you were young too)

I keep trying to think of 1991 crushes, but I really feel they are too embarassing to share.

Also, cunt (for good measure)

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