Freak out room for those newly updiffed after MC to hold hands and support each other... Part IV

[MummyAbroad]

Newly pregnant after miscarriage? Here is a nice place to hang out and swap symptoms and worries until you are brave enough to sign up to the grads thread.

Here is a link to the old thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1165866-Freak-out-room-for-those-newly-updiffed-after-MC-to-hold-hands-and-support-each-other-Part-III/AllOnOnePage#24507574

Morning from a very soggy Cumbria!

How are we all?

Have got a drs appointment this morning - although the MW signed me off the drs are now saying they won't do it without seeing me - am now cacking myself they'll not agree and I'll have to explain to work why I've been off with no note

Pink your boss sounds like my MW - I've been told I have to finish by 34 weeks to give me time to get used to having a baby, she thinks it will help me bond better. Dachs I haven't told my boss this yet, but if he's difficult I'll just get a letter from my MW saying that I need to be finished work by then. I'm sure your lovely consultant would do the same for you, esp as its twinnies.

Lambing still in full force here, not halfway through yet Sheepdog still poorly but much better in herself. Considering until last week she lived in a barn (all be it a warm, dry one with an armchair in the corner), she's turned into a house dog very easily - she now either sleeps on the sofa or in the spare bed with OH, has house trained herself, watches tele and is obsessed with a squeeky toy.... She's completely ruined! We may be off to buy another dog today to cover her work - its a bit of a bargain which makes us wonder why

Morning ladies! What a catch up, it's just taken be more than an hour to read all posts since Monday. Can't believe it's been that long since I last looked in! Busy week!

Black lovely to have another newbie on here, congratulations.

Tunnocks naughty bean giving you another scare. So glad all is fab and we're still DD twins! sonographer though. Some folks just don't get it do they?!?!

Will name check more later, but lovely to see everyone is progressing at a rate of knots. I too am in full fish mode, just can't get enough of the stuff. Still no symptoms here apart from tiredness and eating. Have noticed some sort of bump forming, although could be food related. Had mad dash to London yesterday to renew DS passport. Stressful in so many ways but now sorted and looking forward to heading off to Turkey next Friday for a week of relaxation with Mum & Nan (leaving DS at home to feed cats as he hasn't enough holiday ). Booking in appoinment tonight with MW so slighlty excited. Can't wait to add a scan date to list and lovely to see I have made double figures! Off to scoff something now as bloody starving!!

Happy Friday everyone

Doh, Brian, I'm not leaving DS at home, it's DP who is staying!

Morning all! I am sitting waiting at the hospital walk in centre. The cow of a receptionnist at my gp said they only have appointments for non registered patients. So I can't just wait half an hour there because I happen to be registered??!! WTF! I only want to ask a nurse what I am allowed to still take for my backache. Stupid system.

Lara, your gp sounds very annoying. He even said the scan is safe. If you don't care that it is a bit invasive then that's up to you. If you wait till you are 8 weeks then you probably won't require dildo cam. I did 8 weeks last time and she only used the dildo because all was not well. Otherwise she would have only done it the normal way.

Teacake, so relieved it was good news for you! You have certainly had your fair share of worries so I hope it will all be plain sailing now! You are right about the mental health aspect of scans for women who have previosly mc. That study made interesting reading. My mc was two weeks behind dates. Really they should have prepared me better for the worst! I intend to have an 8 week scan again. I really need it to break up this long two month wait!

Dachs your boss cannot dictate to you when you can leave MAT leave or not. Your twins are likely to arrive at WK 37 or maybe even earlier.... [hopefully not the latter obviously] Your mat leave starts when your mat leave starts! You wouldnt be there for your financial year end if you were 20 weeks pg now, so whats the difference? The difference is that she will have to cover your workload, or get cover in. They have to cover your job and cannot by law make it difficult for you - but i hasten to add, some companies are worse than others :( sadly. I hope she backs off... be strong with her :)

I on the other hand havent even thought about MAT leave yet. Too much going on... DH now has a flat in Poole, dorset. starts nooooo job 1 wk monday... so lots to organise. (thankfully the flat is fully furnished so no moving to fanny about with) Looking forward to Easter hols by the Quayside :) Have rented a caravan this weekend.... LOL! so we are off for some fun with the bambinos and camping locally... to experience towing etc... before we buy one.

I suspect MAT leave will start on my due date, but i will take my holidays before then... will see.

Yup mamap 22 weeks on sunday... YIKES romping away now chill out if you can x mummy hope you are getting some rest! teacake fab news everything is ok some peeps are just nobs... if it was an issue to scan why do the RMC clinics scan weekly?! Izz hope you are doing ok! Pink why are you wired up?
Fab news for all the lovely scannage going on, looking forward to more good news xxxx

kat how dull - can NHS direct not help a all? 0845 46 47...

Re: MAT leave... If all goes well my big plan is to start Mat leave as DS starts the nursery year at the local primary school - so first day 5th of Sept... Obviously it's quite early but it'll mean we can give up the Childminder, saving money, and DS will be at nursery school 2.5 days a week and then it'll be down to me to amuse him the other 2.5 days! But there is lots to do locally and I was quite active up until the end when pg with DS...

Hmmm. Just went upstairs for something and have no idea what it was... I'll take that as a symptom.... :)

pink thanks for changing the stats for me. Your weekend sounds lovely, hope the weather bucks up!

dachs you must stay strong on the mat leave thing. I know you'll feel pressured into doing what your boss wants, but it's more important for you to do what's right for you and your little beans, especially as there is 2 in there, working too late would be a big risk to you health and as tunnocks says also to them if you have to be off sick (my phone keeps putting dick ) or indeed give birth. You're entitled to start your mat leave when you want. End of story.

lara dont work too hard on your trip either, it's easy to feel pressured especially if noone knows. Is there not a colleague you could confine in who could 'have your back' so to speak?

tunnocks your sonographer sounds like an arse!!! Of course you wouldn't wait until your 12 wk scan with scary bleeding and pains. For goodness sake what IF (and thankfully it wasn't) it was something serious that needed urgent attention?!!! The study you mentioned is very interesting thx.

daisy have you got your dog yet? I assume it's not a pup and a ready train one?

hotnspicey soooo jealous of your holiday. Sounds just lovely!

kat hope you've been seen by now, how annoying.

nicks glad dh's job/move is going well. Enjoying caravaning. (very of all this holiday talk, another 3 weeks till mine)

@ knitter, brian must be around!

My resolve to not stress did not last long and my morning has been far from zen like. Had pains on right side of back and right side of tummy all morning and I wish they would feck off as it's stressing me out. Part of me can't wait for Monday to know what's going on, but another part of me is feared to death as I can't help worrying about the worst!!! Aghh and to top it off at work we've still not agreed new contracts with our Acute Trust and they are just being arseholes difficult about the elements that relate to my work!!

Thank crunchy it's Friday!!!!

Hiya - just updating me, I think I've gained a day somewhere!

Friday's List

Nickster 21+5 EDD 7/8/11
Orange 17+5 EDD 4/9/11 next scan 20/4/11
Wombat33 16+6 EDD 10/09/11 next scan 27/4/11
Daisybell 16+1 EDD 14/09/11
Pinkfondantfancy 14+4 EDD 25/09/11
Tiggersreturn (TTT) 14+3 EDD 26/09/11 next scan 10/5/11
mamapower 14+2 EDD 28/9/11
DoubleDiffedDachs 13+0 EDD 7/10/11 next scan 30/3/11
Emoo 13+0 EDD 7/10/11 next scan 30/3/11
Lovemysleep 12+3 EDD 11/10/11
KnitterNotTwitter 11+0 EDD 21/10/11 next scan 5/4/11
Onions 10+1 EDD 27/10/11
Tunnocksteacake 10+1 EDD 27/10/11
Velvetcu 10+0 EDD 30/10/11
IreneHeron 9+4 EDD 26/10/11
MummyAbroad 8+5 EDD 4/11/11
Hils74 8+2 EDD 8/11/11
Katherine2008 8+1 EDD 9/11/11 first scan 29/3/11
Haffertee 7+4 EDD 14/11/11
delilahbelle 7+1 EDD 22/11/11 next scan 4/4/11
Mattsmama 7+1 EDD 17/11/11 next scan 30/3/11
Ninunina: 6+4 EDD:21/11/11
Collie 6+0 EDD 25/11/11 first scan 4/4/11
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy 5+6 EDD 26/11/11 first scan 19/4/11

Thinking of.... hairy; ladybee; digi; A&R; barbie; harassed

Hope you're all ok, I took my last cb digi this morning and it's gone up to 3+ weeks so I'm feeling reasonably confident today...have even dropped off my booking form at the MWs, just got to wait for them to ring me with an appointment.

Now when is someone going to join the list below me? It's weird being right at the bottom!

Sorry for no name-checking, promise will do a better catch-up later

help please ladies... sorry for gate crashing the thread, ive been saying for a couple of days now that i should attempt entry here, and have just been lurking....

quick low down. Not due AF til 8th April, but my last 2 pregnancys ( 1st ended in dd , 2nd ended in mc) got very early bfps. ( 10 and 12 DPO respectively)

Now i realise to test at 8 DPO on wednesday was deserving of a haddock slap, however it was a cb digi and it came out BFP. Pregnant 1-2. I have been having terrible sickness not wanting food for 4 days heartburn ( only get when updiffed) and really really hot. Being the mentalling worried post mc TTCer i am i kept the cb digi test ( you know for prosperity / proof ) but when i checked it this morning it had gone ( or run out of battery or switched off off whatever they do ) so i decided to do another test this morning, i have another cb digi but wanted to keep this til next week in the hope it goes to 2-3 weeks so cheapskate that i am i went and got a wilkinsons cheapy... ( i peed in a pot and saved it (this was about 7.30 this morning) by time id done school run got into town brought tests and got home etc, it was about 12ish by time i got to dip test) im now having a breakdown as it came out BFN !!!! so am i or arent I ???? could it be the sample was 'out of date ' type thing / wrong temp. the cheapy was a 25 sensitivity ive rad that the cb digi are 50 so im really worried now i may have had chemical pregnancy so early on ....... doesnt even cover it .... OH was so happy wednesday when i showed him the positive result on the cb digi, he has been texting me from work calling me mummy yummy etc and even kissing my belly already saying goodnight to the bean for the past 2 nights.... Any ideas anyone ????

so so sorry that my first post on here is so me me me but i just dont know who else to ask......

mtw Don't fret yet. Use a reptuable test with FMU - I used cheapies which theoretically had a 25 sensitivity and the lines were slower and paler than First Response and CB digi. The CB digi turns off after 24 hours, so I'm not surprised the result has disappeared. It is possible that it was a CP but I wouldn't give up hope yet. I also wouldn't use stored urine for a test - I think you're meant to use fresh.

updating me too, lost a few days

Friday's List

Nickster 21+5 EDD 7/8/11
Orange 17+5 EDD 4/9/11 next scan 20/4/11
Wombat33 16+6 EDD 10/09/11 next scan 27/4/11
Daisybell 16+1 EDD 14/09/11
Pinkfondantfancy 14+4 EDD 25/09/11
Tiggersreturn (TTT) 14+3 EDD 26/09/11 next scan 10/5/11
mamapower 14+2 EDD 28/9/11
DoubleDiffedDachs 13+0 EDD 7/10/11 next scan 30/3/11
Emoo 13+0 EDD 7/10/11 next scan 30/3/11
Lovemysleep 12+3 EDD 11/10/11
KnitterNotTwitter 11+0 EDD 21/10/11 next scan 5/4/11
Onions 10+1 EDD 27/10/11
Tunnocksteacake 10+1 EDD 27/10/11
Velvetcu 10+0 EDD 30/10/11
IreneHeron 9+4 EDD 26/10/11
MummyAbroad 9+0 EDD 4/11/11
Hils74 8+2 EDD 8/11/11
Katherine2008 8+1 EDD 9/11/11 first scan 29/3/11
Haffertee 7+4 EDD 14/11/11
delilahbelle 7+1 EDD 22/11/11 next scan 4/4/11
Mattsmama 7+1 EDD 17/11/11 next scan 30/3/11
Ninunina: 6+4 EDD:21/11/11
Collie 6+0 EDD 25/11/11 first scan 4/4/11
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy 5+6 EDD 26/11/11 first scan 19/4/11

Hello everyone,

thanks for the lovely well wishes Nina sorry to hear you've got the sickness too. Hope it doesnt get worse for you, a little bit is reassuring but when it starts ruling your life its awful. I have found the girls on the HG thread to be wonderfully sympathetic and amazingly knowledgable about meds, so if it does get worse, see them first and then see your doctor.

I just vommed up my crap -costa rican-- meds Just checked pregnancy tracker and I am 9 weeks today and thats when the horrible full on hospitalised hyperemisis started last time (with the mmc)

Cant decided whether to cancel work today - I teach English classes from home, so a basic level of cleanliness is required in the house at lease from the front door to the office and I have a stack of translations piling up too.

Izz The cleaner never called back so I think she wont be coming back which means no childcare while I am teaching so DS comes running into the class every two mins trying to join in! aaaaaarrrggh!

So I am feeling pretty crappy and struggling, but its Mothers day soon, and this time last year I was mc-ing which was much much worse than all of this put together. Lets hope it all gets better from here on in.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks dachs congrats on the twins BTW, have been lurking and was very pleased to see that your last scan well x

Think maybe i should go and get a FR and try that as you say with 2m FMU.... just doing my head in already wnat to know now, really wish i hadnt done the cheapy now i would have still been happy thinkiing i was defo updiffed .....

That definitely deserves a haddock slap :)

If I was where you are now I would probably break out the CB digi tomorrow and test at exactly the same time as I had tested the first time round. At least then you will know what is going on - I'm amazed you got a + on a CB digi at 8 DPO, they're supposedly less sensitive than the others, however they are at least relatively consistent compared to the cheapies.

I can recommend the superdrug early testing cheapies - they test at 15 I think and did actually give me an answer when the ebay ones I'd been using were barely visible. Good luck!

Dachs your boss truly is an arse. I'm sure Magic8 's gorgeous girls turned up around the 36 week mark and I remember she was struggling somewhat by that point anyway - it would be insane to expect you to work to 38 weeks. The odds are fairly high that they will have turned up by then!

Lara your doctor is also an arse. My, what a lot of arses there are out there. You have to do whatever YOU feel you need to in order to get through the next weeks and months in a state of sanity. That is all that matters. Sod everyone else. :)

Ps. I've just been for a sneaky doppler fix. Owlet had been very, very quiet the last 3 days and by this morning my stress levels were epic. MW thinks I am barking mad but kindly indulged me yet again and it transpires that Owlet is perfectly fine but taking a short holiday in the depths of my pelvis. I'm sure he's doing it on purpose just to stress me out.

Hi MumTum I agree with Dach, to early to fret - just start mega testing! I used internet cheapies and the lines where REALLY feint (shadows) at 11DPO. You are bound to get negatives on duff tests this early in. I think you should use the trusted TTC test buying equation:

No. of tests to buy = How anxious you are/how rich you are

and then test test test!

(PS I reckon stored wee is alright as long as test is done same day)

izzy yay for test going up! :)

by the way - my obstetrician said something that I found very incomprehensible. He said the babies didn't need chocolate (or cake or ice cream). Surely that's wrong?

owl yay for healthy owlet! boo for owlet holiday. You'd think they'd know that we were freaking out about them. Most unfair to put us through that worry. I'd give it a good telling off if I were you.

[uterley depressed] just broke out the cb digi. Fresh sample though obviously not FMU.... Not pregnant.... want to cry and shout... rationally im thinking they are sensitive, it is still early, it wasnt FMU wait until tomorrow..... realistically i want to cry at unfairness of a false positiive / chemical pregnancy and what or do i yet tell the OH... any more text calling me mummy are gonna really make me cry..... sorry ladies but just dont know what to do ...... an gutted absolutely gutted ...

dachs your obs. clearly has a screw loose ! choc and cakes / ice cream are obligatory in pregnancy

Definitely wrong about the chocolate. Full of iron and calcium, y'know.

Dachs I have had stern words. I did consider telling him 'wait until your father gets home' but then remembered that Mr Boots also thinks I am nuts just like the MW does.

I am leaving this trail of cupcakes in the hope that some of you lovelies who are getting past the 12 week scan point might come and join us in Grads :)

Hi all - glad to hear everyone is ok.

I had first consultant appt this week, and had another scan which was a surprise and incredible (and scary) to see how much they've grown in a week, plus all the spiel about how high risk the pregnancy is with these sort of twins which we have been told soooooo many times it would be nice if they had some more positive comments sometimes!

[tunnocks] - I'm having scans every two weeks for the duration - your sonographer sounds like a moose.

[Dachs] - consultant told me to consider giving up work at 28 weeks. I cant afford to do that but am saving all my holiday to tag on to the beggining of Mat leave and will finish at 31 and expect to deliver at 35 weeks.

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Dachs I'm planning on going on maternity leave at 30 weeks. I'm planning to tell my boss the good news and this on Monday. I know they are coming at latest 37 weeks, I have a ds already and am terrified of them being premature or worse. If I can put this off by resting then I'll do it.

The advice I was given when pg with ds by someone in banking was present the news in business case style - be definite about what you want to do and show you have thought about impact, also emphasise your commitment to return.

Since your boss already knows I would suggest approaching it like this.

I am taking mat leave on x (be definite about the date). Or, I am prepared to postpone taking my mat leave by 1-2 weeks providing I can work at home throughout that period (would this work for you?).

I am fully aware of when half year is but it is more helpful for the rest of the team if I can hand over in an ordered manner rather than have to go onto sick leave because I am not capable of working at that point. I anticipate based on medical advice that the point up to which I should be able to work is x and therefore I am going to begin my maternity leave on y.

(If she suggests working at home while on maternity leave only agree if she's prepared to pay you full wages - otherwise you'll never get a break)

I am of course fully committed to returning after maternity leave. I have been advised that the risks of taking maternity leave at too late a stage is the babies may be born prematurely which would obviously delay my return to work substantially.

Does that help?

Pink the answer for sick dc is having either a form of childcare not closed to sickness e.g. nanny (although they can get sick themselves), having 2 forms of childcare to alternate between e.g. cms accept some sickness nursery won't and either an emergency person or family nearby.