Freak out room for those newly updiffed after MC to hold hands and support each other... Part IV

[MummyAbroad]

Newly pregnant after miscarriage? Here is a nice place to hang out and swap symptoms and worries until you are brave enough to sign up to the grads thread.

Here is a link to the old thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1165866-Freak-out-room-for-those-newly-updiffed-after-MC-to-hold-hands-and-support-each-other-Part-III/AllOnOnePage#24507574

Pink rubbish registrar. If I had been there I would have tried my very hardest to puke on her shoes for you. Just because NHS funding criteria means they cant afford to investigate women until they have had three recurrent mc's doesnt mean its a good policy!! Have you all seen the MN campaign about mc? Lets hope MN manages to change things for the better so those ladies who come after us wont have to suffer with these crappy attitudes as well as the pain of mc.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_campaigns/1177056-Miscarriage-campaign-next-steps

Thursday's stats

Nickster 20+4 EDD 7/8/11
Orange 16+4 EDD 4/9/11 next scan 20/4/11
Wombat33 15+5 EDD 10/09/11 next scan 27/4/11
Daisybell 15+0 EDD 14/09/11
Pinkfondantfancy 13+3 EDD 24/09/11
Tiggersreturn (TTT) 13+2 EDD 26/09/11 next scan 10/5/11
mamapower 13+1 EDD 28/9/11
DoubleDiffedDachs 11+6 EDD 7/10/11 next scan 30/3/11
Emoo 11+6 EDD 7/10/11 next scan 30/3/11
Lovemysleep 11+2 EDD 11/10/11
KnitterNotTwitter 9+6 EDD 21/10/11 next scan 5/4/11
Onions 9+0 EDD 27/10/11
Tunnocksteacake 9+0 EDD 27/10/11
Velvetcu 8+6 EDD 30/10/11
IreneHeron 8+3 EDD 26/10/11
MummyAbroad 7+6 EDD 4/11/11
Hils74 7+1 EDD 8/11/11
Katherine2008 7+0 EDD 9/11/11 first scan 29/3/11
Haffertee 6+3 EDD 14/11/11
delilahbelle 6+0 EDD 22/11/11 next scan 4/4/11
Mattsmama 6+0 EDD 17/11/11 next scan 30/3/11

Thinking of.... hairy; ladybee; digi; A&R

stats updated with mamap 's new edd. very big jump..... lucky you

mummya just a guess at brian

am knackered as i've spent all day in the garden clearing out winter grott and making it fit for spring!

excited to be in double figures tomorrow though.

have got my booking in appt on sat. dh is away so my sister is comig along to mid ds! then bloods next tues ready for nuchal scan the next week.

sorry no capital letters..... too tired!

Hello all,

I'm afraid this is another me me me post . Wombat has persuaded me to come back here, after I've just unloaded on her... I remember I said that I'd been signed off work and, unfortunately, I'm not any better.

I feel I'm struggling with so many things but I feel really insensitive about breaking down on here, because I know it sounds like I'm not happy to be PG, and I know how you are all so anxious about things working out. I don't want to upset/offend anyone by sounding ungrateful. I am, I truly am, I'm just still struggling to, being blunt, be happy about being PG.

This is a planned baby, and the start of a much wanted family, but I can't cope with people being happy about it. I can't listen to people saying congratulations, but then all the comments about no sleep/life/shredded bits/boobs freak me out too. I bawled my eyes out yesterday after a friend had her little girl - it felt like I was jealous of her happiness.

I've got a MW appointment on Monday too, and will talk about this with her. The words 'pre-natal depression' are lingering in the back of my mind. I'm hoping for a bit more time off to re-group, and try and get my head straight, its not always easy being here and feeling useless at the farm, but I'm not sure how being at work would be any better. Any stress and I just tip over the edge.

I disintergrated on OH last night but its really difficult to make time for a chat at the moment. What I've really struggled with is that he doesn't want to touch me if he's 'lamb-y' so there are no cuddles, and he sleeps on the sofa every night

Sorry, this is completely jumbled up jargon, and I realise I have it easy compared with everyone else, so I'm sorry for off-loading.

Hope everyone else is having a better day than me

yay mamap and mummya wonderful scan news from both of you.

so I had my booking in today, took pinks advice about not telling about the private scan and she has booked me in to EPU on Monday afternoon for a reassurance scan :) She lied to them anyway and told them I was spotting. And for the first time ever, I didn't faint when I had my bloods done!

Daisy I kind of know where you are coming from - I'm too worried about everything to be happy and I'm probably not going to "announce" it at work either - if people ask (after 12 week scan) I'll tell them, if they dont I wont simply because I too cant be doing with all the fussing when I know even after that time it still has the potential to go very wrong. My mw talked to me today about prenatal depression (since depression runs in my family) and said I must get it sorted if it becomes a problem and that even some meds are safe to take. I hope you feel better soon.

Oh no Tunnocks I don't mean you, or anyone else here being excited for me, thank you! Its people I have to see in RL which freak me out. Not you!

xxx

mummya once i've had an all reassuring scan at the 12 week mark i'll happily add to the list.

Big (((hugs))) to daisy - it can be such an emotional time and especially with it being your first I can remember how daunting that was! Doubly hard when you feel like you're carrying the weight of everyone else's excitement and expectations too.

Katherine I meant to reply to your post earlier but think I forgot (blame Brian !) sorry your client's giving you a hard time, they sound like an arse! Hope it gets sorted soon

pink I hope you just let it all wash over you...not their body, not their babies, not their business! Some people just have no idea!!

So, as my mum and dad know I'm pg and they're seeing my dsis next week they've asked me to tell her so they're not having to keep secrets. Which is fair enough. I'm actually very close to dsis and would love her to know but am aware that she may have difficulty with it (she has been ttc for a number of years with no luck, including two rounds of ivf and three mcs ). She knows how devastated we were after the mc last year, and I've been very open with her about trying again, so it shouldn't come as a total shock but I'm looking for a bit of advice on the kindest way to tell her...I was thinking about sending her a text saying I had some news and to give me a call when she wants (she will then know what it is and call when she's ready to hear it). What do you think? I know it might seem really impersonal but honestly I've seen her get these announcements from everyone over the years and know she struggles when it's thrown at her when she's not prepared for it . Any thoughts?

Might be the easiest way Izz..,
Not an easy one that!

Yey for power bean :)

Daisy you aren't alone. I couldn't speak to anyone about being pg.... Ignored it and pretended it wasn't there, then it couldn't break my heart if it didn't work out! Try not to fret!!

Felt sick as a dog for two days and collapsed zonko at 8 last night !

Thanks for the sympathy ladies, ridiculous doctor. By the way, I didn't mean to sound insensitive to those of you that I know have had more than one MC - hope no-one read it that way, no disrespect intended. mummya that link is really interesting, I hope the government listens.....

cep hugs for you, I know how scary it is when symptoms diminish. mamap has a brilliant theory which I really think might be true which is that your hormone levels don't rise constantly over time, but instead have a little surge, and then plateau out for a bit which is when your symptoms start to disappear, and then before you know it you're feeling sick again when you have another hormone spurt.

Hugs for tunnocks too. Definitely know how you feel. Not sure when the feeling diminishes though...

daisy my heart goes out to you. You don't sound insensitive, you sound like you're having a very tough time. Definitely talk it through with the MW, and if she doesn't take it seriously, maybe follow up with your GP if they are nice? I can completely understand you feeling weird about the congratulations thing. After I told MIL at about 8 weeks she has been texting me asking how the three of us are (me, DH and the bean) etc.etc. and generally being way more excited about the whole thing than I am and it completely freaked me out. I think it's also very common to freak out about destroying your body and your quality of life, and not being about to get hugs with OH must make things x100 harder :(

velvet your midwife sounds lovely!

izz crossed posts with you. Your poor sis :( I don't know, it's really tough. Either text asking for a call, or maybe phone her at a quiet time like a sunday afternoon or something?

nix sorry you're feeling rough, hope you feel better soon. I think I'm off to bed shortly too!

sending enormous hugs to daisy - it's fine to feel weird about it all and you must talk to your mw about how you are feeling. But what tunnocks says is true, you have so much excitement and love and amazing times ahead of you I promise. for tunnocks pert boobs. izz I feel for you - but if I was your sister, I think I'd prefer a warning, so that text message sounds just the thing. Waves to everyone and thanks izz for calling ex-client an arse.

Could do with a virtual hug from anyone lurking?? Nans funeral tomorrow and feeling so sad. Just don't feel ready to say bye. lack of any symptoms also worries me, just don't feel pg.

pink i hadnt seen your post! bizarre

what a freak......!!! not you :) as far as i can see if your pg hadnt been monitored you wouoldnt have known your progesterone was low nor falling - and anything couold ave happened!!

They shouodl bloody offer it to all.....

Collie ((()))) sorry you are so sad xxx

Thanks nix :) Wish I'd been brought up to be more bolshy!! Would love to just tell people to fack off sometimes!!!

HUGE hugs collie :( Don't worry about the preg symptoms, I expect it's just because you're focusing on something else. Fingers crossed your little bean is fine. Go easy on yourself - I'll be thinking of you tomorrow xxx

Big (((hugs))) collie that's such a tough one . I'm not sure you ever feel ready to say goodbye tbh, it is horrid. Hope it goes as well as it can x

And try not to worry about lack of symptoms - I don't have any either, sometimes I think my boobs are bigger then I think it's all in my mind. I actually just feel pretty good (sorry mummya !) not even queasy. But the lines keep getting darker so I'm just keeping my fx that it's progressing as it should (have cut down testing to every other day in an attempt to wean myself off!)

HI everyone - phew I had a bit of a panic when I saw the old thread was full - big relief when found you all again!

pink obs consultant sounds like a nightmare! ONLY one miscarriage - your totally right their all bloody IDIOTS. Their flippancy annoys me so much.

mamap lovely news regarding your scan. You must be well chuffed.

tunnocks I am the same as you - analyzing every twitch, pain or lack of - pain, twitch. One minute my boobs are killing me - the next I'm poking them as they seem to be normal?!! My scan next week seems ages away - I want it but am dreading it at the same time. Hope you have a better day tomorrow.

Hi to everyone else

hugs to collie - will be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping you can get through the day. I think we are all mentalling about symptoms or lack of, try not to worry (crazy when I spend my spare time worrying!) too much. ((((((hug))))))

Hugs to Collie will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Daisy the first one is daunting. I remember my MW saying 'You do know you're going to have a baby soon?' Life does change yes, but I think all for the better. Just you wait. It's funny, sometimes I still can't get over how much love I can feel for my DS (have just videoed him on my phone singing Adele's Someone Like You. Head thrown back and full on emotion throughout. Bloody hilarious!)

Pink I think after MC you should be seen by someone who has experience of MC so at least there is some level of understanding. But then I suppose that could be said of any ailment. Should be more sensitivity in these matters though.

Yey for MamaP dancing bean. Hope all goes well for you my lovely tomorrow, and you manage to put your feet up at some point to reflect on what a successful time you're having at the mo. Obviously with virgin Mojito in hand.

To add to my ever increasing list of food consumption today, I've just eaten tuna & tomato pasta for tea, followed by warmed chocolate brownie (the ones I made Tuesday, still got some!) with Chocolate, Caramel & Prailine Hagen Daaz. Bloody lovely!

How's the rest of you lovely ladies tonight?? I'm of out for the night, last dart match of the season. Could really murder a pint of lager and lime

waves to all her old pals

Big (((hugs))) collie saying goodbye to someone you were so close to is very difficult. I hope you will have a good shoulder to cry on during the service.

Don't worry about the pg symptoms. They will come soon enough (it's still very early). You just concentrate on saying goodbye to your gran, and no doubt, she'll be watching over you and taking care of your little bean.

Daisybell I'm sorry you're having a hard time dealing with your pregnancy. I would definately mention how you're feeling to your midwife. You should never suffer in silence. Take care of yourself (((hugs))). I don't know if this will any help at all, but before my mum had me, she gave birth to a premature baby girl at 24weeks who died after a few hours. I asked her recently how she coped with that, and she says "I would never have had you if that didn't happen...and I know I was always destined to have you."

I thought about that quite a lot, and it's true. If we're lucky enough to carry these pregnancies to term, and deliver beautiful healthy babies, we won't be able to imagine a life without them....and you won't feel guilty for loving them so much (even though you'll always remember your loss)

onions you've just reminded me of when I was in labour with ds and the mw said "you're going to be a mummy in about an hour!" and instead of smiling or getting tearful I just shrieked "but I don't think I'm ready! I'm nowhere near grown-up or responsible enough!!"

I should clarify that much gas and air had been had at that point.

Anyway enjoy the darts, you've made me feel hungry, I'm off to eat my way through the remainder of the Christmas chocs

Short catch up today as dh is hogging the computer and I am typing on pathetically small iPod keyboard for woman of my advanced years and failing vision...

Can report that Brian was busy with me this afternoon when he should have been starting the new thread. I ended up walking with disliked ex boss to car park, and was so flustered that my pregnancy Brian forgot where the car was and I set off in completely the wrong direction. I then elected to hide behind a van for a while rather than risk ex boss seeing me wandering round car park in a bewildered fashion!!!

(((((collie))))) I also will be thinking of you tomorrow. I know what you mean about not being ready.. It will take time for you to let go and tomorrow is only the beginning of that process.

Waves to everyone else xx

Poor you Pink. Some of them are just like that unfortunately. Best just to smile and nod and wait till you see a more normal one - unless the one doing it is the consultant in which case switch hospital!!!! I see 2 doctors every appt (once a month) one obs, one diabetic and know they come in all shapes and forms.

I had a lovely obs one this week who I asked what the chances of me losing it were. She asked me if I meant my notes. I said no I was quite good at looking after them, I meant the pregnancy . She was reasonably reassuring.