30s TTC - The BESH thread at the end of WOOniverse.

[PrincessBoo]

Donne thy robes and come join the hagges round a crackling fire made of ye olde pee sticks, as we run around nekkid, high on snorted baybeedust, and do our straynge erotick rituals on the altar of ye inconstant moon.

Come one, come all as we cast spelles and do any Magick we can finde on our queste for an elusive win.

Bring thy gynne for yon cauldron and help thyself to a laddle, as we prepare the incantationnes...

Me too trog! Well actually I have escaped now and spend most of my working day having no social interaction with anyone except the lady in the coffee shop

I feckin hate marzipan! Will be happy in future to donate the evil almondy nasty to the palais!

owlie not that I am bitter but it is about time you did some kind of barfing

I have got a job interview on Tuesday! It's the same place I work for now so if I get the job I will get maternity leave, a job to come back to and not made redundant at 8 months diffed. So no pressure there! Now just have to buy a new outfit that doesn't make me look 18 weeks diffed. So just fat then. Fabby.

The word marzipan has given me an unbelievable craving for marzipan stollen...

Good luck with your interview!

Woo hoo, boring meeting was cancelled and I have spent the last hour getting a piece of work done that I had been procrastinating over for some time. It was a bit complicated and also not very interesting, but now it is done, the knock on effects will be A. Good. Thing.

Barbie I'm with the others, you are the bollocks

Rie I am simple and therefore like other things to be simple and therefurtherfore 'Barren Evil Selfish Hags visit a new Fred' sounds like my kind of thing

I am NOT a fan of marzipan so you can fight over my share if you like and I will enjoy this battenburg lookalike, the angel cake Pliz to joining me FellowMarzipanHater and I'll throw in a good luck grope for your interview on Tuesday, am very much hoping you don't get cast out on the cold streets just as your baybee is thinking about entering the world. Have you managed to conceal your diffment to this point?

best of luck bitey. If you stuff enough battenberg squares in each cheek on the morning of the interview, they will in no way suspect you are diffed and you will indeed just look fat instead. This effect can of course be heightened by having cake crumbs cascade down each cheek when answering any of their questions. The job is yours.

Why would I post anything in breast and bottle feeding? Why would I be that dumb? Apparently I sound suspiciously like someone who works for Aptimil because I am capable of recognising there are toxins in the environment and therefore in our bodies

Bites I spent most of my childhood barfing due to a complete inability to travel anywhere in a car without instaboak occuring, and a splendid bout of whooping cough that had me throwing up for about 3 months solid. My work there is done; there will be no sicking here, oh no.

I could do the interview for you maybe? I haz a perma-tyre around my middle that seems to be working quite well in terms of concealment. Not that there is actually anything of note to conceal.

Lara OMGstollen. I luff it. I did make one once, it was like a heavily fruited house brick.

And there, in a nutshell, is the reason for the perma-tyre.

Rie are the militant scary women after you?

I used the word Nazi once. I was treated, as though I didn't know before and was entirely ignorant of the history of the 20th Century, to an explanation for my poor little brain in a terribly amusing and sarcastic and patronising way of who the Nazis were and what they did. Didn't I know it was an emotive term? Didn't I know it was terribly offensive to Jewish people? Have you never used the word in conjunction with anything other than germans between 1933 and 1945 I asked. Would "breast feeding fascist" or "breast feeding Stalinist" have provoked similar offence. Apparently not. Yet these people who equally as awful as Hitler and his chums. No, I was very stupid for not recognising that the word is very very very offensive. Morons.

Blimey rie. There should be a nazi emoticon. That'd show em

Oh rierie you didn't???

Ah fuck it, am a DHB! Show me where they are!

Yes truffkinoftheangelcake so far so secret thanks to waterfall cardigans, an usually frilly scarf, only wearing black(there was a thread on here recently slagging off all my wardrobe staples, they are clearly boden mummies who have never had to pretend they aren't diffed) and working at home as much as possible.

owlie yes please! Will make you a marzipan owl? I suppose you have had your share of the puking and will stop sulking. Actually the only other time I have had notable vomitting was when my lovely mummy made a massive humpty dumpty on a wall out of marzipan as the top of my 3rd birthday cake. I got at it beofre the party, scoffed the lot and spent two days puking (yes, you've guessed it) marzipan!

Riezilla there are an astonishing amount of prats on here. I see you found another one on that thread about dentists and the 2WW.

rie I am also enjoying your prat-finding efforts on various threads. keep it up - I salute you!

I implore you all to take on prats wherever you find them.

Can I just point out that the doctor upset me and I wasn't using it a stick to beat you lot with. Why the hell would I do that?

Whassup Boo?

I thought you sticking your fingers in your ears was inspired boo. I didn't think you were beating us with sticks at all.

Plz be beating me with a big stick if you like. Or a big Curly Wurly. That would be nice.

Shush now boo no one took it badly, they are just commenting on what the doctor said and agreeing that a 'lalala' approach is probably the best one.

Boo you have now mentioned sticks and beatings three times in two days!

Come 'ere, this is me, just for you!*

This won't hurt a bit

*Perhaps not one to click on if in work!

< unwraps enormous curlywhirly and winds back arm> line up gels.

aries you seem to have an unerring prat radar when it comes to MN. God help me if i ever inadvertently use TBs term for traffic wardens on here as I will end up offending all the Jews and all the traffic wardens.

As you were.

Perhaps you could use the term "Traffic Leninist-Trotskyist"? Or "Traffic-Maoist"?

Oh Boo come back you big banana

Boo come over here and have a bit of my chunky kitkat. I'll even let you have the non-chewed end if you like.

Boo you big div (I am resurrecting words from my childhood, earlier on I said that something was 'skill') come here for some buzwam groppage, does that feel better? I can also throw in a ginger nut if that helps. P.S I did not comment on your new red hair, I am a big fan of the red head look as you know from my own recent colouring experiment so welcome to the gang! (yes, the mention of ginger nuts jogged my memory, so sue me!)

Rie you definitely have a prat radar. I rarely tiptoe outside of the conception boards as when I do I usually piss someone off I feel safer here wher I have something in common with my fellow postees (like barreness, hey Boo ) Maybe you could just call them 'thugs' and see if they really understand the origins of offensive words!

Am off home now for steak & chips for dinner. TGB pissed me off last night with some misplaced sulking and so he has been making it up to me today by sucking up calling me at lunchtime so see what he could buy for dinner and also taking my HMRC cheque to the bank to pay in for me. We shall see how long this 'best behaviour' lasts!