Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings

[galwaygal]

This is a continuation of the "More ongoing and continuing conceptions and follicling ahead of Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings"

I thought I would keep the title short as there are so many long ones out there.

I thought I would start the new thread so that you don't forget me

Welcome zebedeethezebra! We are all pretty much in the same boat and know how you feel. Sorry am at work but hopefully someone else will be along shortly to offer words of wisdom.

Hi everyone - I used to be on this thread when I was TTC my ds (feels weird being able to say that now) and am now working on no 2. I feel so lucky that I have a beautiful healthy baby (who is now 1) and part of me thinks maybe that is enough, don't push it. Also like zebra, I'm worried that it's going to be harder than the first time and then it becomes a really big thing.

I feel for everyone who is trying for no 1, it is such an intense process and of course no guarantees. The good news is that it seems like us old girls (I'll be 43 in May) are much more capable of getting pregnant than all the stats would have us believe.

Congrats to those with recent BFPs and commiserations to those having a hard time of it.

On a lighter note, has anyone else found it hard to find the necessary, err, enthusiasm to go for a second....didn't seem this hard the first time around

Hi Ltestarter welcome XXX Bet it feels odd to be back here again.

Hi Zebedeethezebra Thanks for your well wishes.Your story , again, gives me hope with regard to ttc, that i m not too old.

Muchlove good to see your my personal cheerleader!!!!!

Curly Breathe and chill!!!!

Hi Gum glad you had a good time with your sister.I ve got 2 sisters [1 has ostriched herelf from the family]but my youngest sister is fab and Georgie has bought us even closer.Kate got married last year , she is 29 and says when i m pg and ok she ll start ttc.Seeing what i have experienced has influenced her not to leave it as late as we did.

Hi Diege hope there's plenty of those swimmers in place!!!

BB same for you.Dildocam sounds very promising [winl]

Hi to everyone else Jolls,Italian, Cereal and Nicole ....Sorry i ve missed anyone XXX

Up and down today.Very upset last night.Missing Georgie..Feel like AF is on her way also.I m sure i m not pg this month.So come on AF then i can get back to a serious month of ttc.MMM.........wonder how i can get any more serious with all the swi going on already!!!

Oh, Hippy nearly missed you.Sorry How are you doing???? XXX

"ostriched" should spell a word i can t spell!!! Thats me getting carried away with myself!!!!! She has removed herself completely from the family!!!!!

hey Zeb and late welcome :)

lou I also have an ostriched sister! She and I were really close, she's 15 years older than me, and was sort of a mum figure (my mum died when I was in my first year at University), and we lived in the same city. Then when I got pregnant with DS shortly after which my dad got ill and died very quickly, she went all strange and withdrawn. In fact on the day we interred my dad's ashes we had a "soap opera" graveside and she flounced off saying she didn't want anything to do with me or my other sis and brother (my waters broke that night at 36+5 )... and I've seen her once since then... anyway... just to let you know, we're a mixed up lot too! I'm very close (now) with my other sister, but lost many years with her because of the other one... (oh it's too confusing!!)

How's everyone doing?

BB too late I know, but I wouldn't have bothered SWI again , I reckon you had enough boys in the pipes as it were... . But if you did, wahey! All FX for you :).

Anyone a Silent Witness fan? Whaddya reckon? Is Harry really toast?

hugs to all
xxx

Oh Jolls we are like "twins!!!" I, too are 1 of 4 me,2 sisters and 1 brother.[oh, just realised thats totally obvious with what i said earlier!!! Duh....I really need to get back to work]

Your sister sounds just like mine a proper drama queen!!!! I don t miss her 1 bit , in fact there's only my brother who keeps in contact with her.But my bro will never stand up to anyone [but thats a whole different story!!! including his bitch wife!!!].Haven't seen "werido" sister since brother's wedding 2 years ago!!!

God i sound like i don t like anyone i do really!!!!

Morning. Wellcome zebe and latestarter. I know it sometimes seems it will never happen, but my theory is that there must be at least one good egg left, we just have to keep trying. I guess the real question is how long are we prepared to keep trying? I thought I might stop at my 44th birthday, and got my bfp a few days later. Had I not got the bfp, I would still have kept trying. As it is, I miscarried, so I'm back to trying (sort of,long story, not sure where DH is in all this). Now I think I may stop after DS turns 3 or at my 45th birthday. But who knows?

We all have a personal agenda, and hopefully we know when we've reached our limit.

I sometimes think that TTC makes a mockery of any sanity we have....

So...no RTD today and a temp rise too, which is good, but doesn't really mean much. I had alook over old charts and this has happened before with me - so doesn't mean I should get hopeful. I certainly don't feel pregnant like I did when I fell last time. It remains to be seen. Negative test this a.m, but only 10dpo. Will test again tomorrow and probably every day til RTD comes.

Had an awful day yesterday. I went to the naturopath, who is lovely, and before I got there I was already feeling low. She talked about how I should probably get my hormones tested, that maybe my luteal phase is borderline too short (12 days?) and maybe I have low progesterone. Surely if that caused the miscarriage, I would have miscarried earlier? I often wonder whether I know too much, because I sit there listening to the health professionals, questioning almost everything they say because I've done so much research into this!(ttc makes me loony!)She said that my DH's borderline thyroid problem may have caused some defect in the sperm...but I am thinking she's clutching a bit. I dunno. She basically agreed with the supplements I'm taking and wanted to see if my l.p changes at all after the breastfeeding is stopped, and if it doesn't she wants me to take Vitex.

Anyway, I'm rambling, please stop reading if I am boring you.

The rest of the day I just felt more and more sad until I finally fell into bed sobbing at about 6 pm. My lovely DH took the kids to the beach and stayed away long enough for me to get it out of my system. I really thought I was doing okay, and wonder if it is PMS? I just felt so sad that I'm not still pregnant and should be happy and celebrating my growing bump instead of getting advice from a naturopath. And my friend is going to have her baby any day, and I still haven't made contact, which makes me feel like a right bitch, but I just can't seem to muster up the emotional energy it will require. Sigh...

Maybe I'll feel better when I get a bfp or the RTD shows up.

Sorry to be a downer! I'll try harder to be positive!

hairyfairylights congratulations. Excellent news.

I am feeling OK, sorry not to name check everyone.

I have been feeling very mixed.

Tonight just prayed if the treatment is not going to work then so be it. Tired of waiting for it all to work. I do feel OK now.

Sending love to you all.

Hi Gum wail away.Perfectly normal to be very up and down.This whole process is very draining without the hormonal involvement.Hope you feel brighter today if not it's ok just go with it.XXX

Italian FX for you too XXX

We re all a bit down aren't we? Lets hope we have some good news soon to perk us all up XXX

Gum fwiw I do think your naturopath was clutching at straws a bit. 12 day Lp is not 'borderline' , (I think 10 is) and as you say I think LP defect is associated with earlier losses (as is 'borderline' sperm). I feel so sorry for you and how you are feeling, though I suppose this is the time (waiting to see if you're pregnant again) that is rerally goping to be super stressful x
Italian sorry to hear you're feeling low too Is the the egg donation process you have been reflecting on? (sorry if I've got this wrong).
Hi to the newbies
HI Louise and Jolls - your families sound 'challenging' as we say in social work
All ok here. Ovulation has been detected by FF the day of the last swi (also managed the day before) so on paper good but not hopeful as didn't have egg whites and think think Queen Toni says 'no egg whites? You're not coming in...'. Tbh this wouldn't be the greatest month in the year to be fall pregnant, but there again sod's law and all that..
Love to all - oh and many congats again Hairy!!!

ok, so didn't do the deed the day of ov, but did it the 2 previous days. Still pretty good for me! Hoping Sod's law applies and I get pg despite 'Nam. I have realised that temping doesn't work for me - I had a temp rise today which shows that ovulation was yesterday. When I know it was Monday. I am giving up temping anyway as it makes it more stressful for me and I wake up all the time. the CBFM seemed to be spot on, so I will stick with that in future.

Louise are you nearly at testing time?

gum sorry you had a big crash, hopefully your temp will stay high and you'll get some good news in a few days.

Hello to Zeb and latestarter - hope your stay here is short and sweet!

boohoo cereal and sorry you're feeling low too italian

Congrats Hairy everything crossed for you.

Hello to everyone else...

Hi ladies. Sorry I've been missing in action. I was cleaning the whole house yesterday as an estate agent (hoo hiss) came today to value the house. I am knackered from the cleaning - I feel like I've done a bloody work out .

Just quickly wanted to say to gum don't stress too much about LP and thyroid issues etc. At our age I firmly belive that the MC and MMCs are just down to chromosone problems. I read a brilliant book by Lesley Regan about MC's and apparently 80% of MCs in over 40s are due to chromosone issues. There is nothing you or I or Diege or any of the others could have done about those losses. We just have to hope for a good egg, sweetie.

italian Hope you are feeling better. On the bright side May is fast approaching and you will soon know one way or another if you are going to have any more pregnancies. Hang in there.

jolls and louise who needs soap operas with your families

Welcome to the new people. Glad to hear of a baby born to someone of 43 - that is very encouraging.

hairy a very quiet congrats from this old hippy - I'll bet every day feels like a bloody week for you. Big hugs ((()))

Sorry not to name check you all - but you know who you are.

Gotta go to collect boys. Trying to keep house tidy as we have a second valuation tomorrow. (Hippy exits singing... This year I'm off to sunny Isle fo Wight...)

These are for you tank - [bsmile] [dgrin] [bbiscuit]

got my d and b mixed up - I thought it was my DS who was dyslexic. That was meant to be [bsmile] [bgrin] [bbsicuit] for tank.

oh sod it - you know what i meant!!!!

Diege yes waiting for donor eggs. I am OK, I feel mixed, wanting a new baby and not sure I am up to it. I also just want the wait to be over!

Love to all

"Challenging"!!! Thats a good one *Diege" definatly are!!!! Good work on your swi as it's sod's law this month will be a certain!!!!

BB same for you as you ve got ure hols sorted you just know it don t you???? Cd 23 here and yes i succumbed [sp] and tested of course bfn.Its only as i get loads of tests free from work.But i m going to reslove not to for next few days as whats the point???

I m convinced its not my month although have been feeling nauseaus intermittently very tired.But you don t know wheter you re imaging these signs do you? Have had slight leg cramps [normal pms for me] however, less than normal.More discharge...I don t know!!!! Trying not to think and convince myself af is on her way.

Hippy hope you get a good price.Sounds like you ve been very busy [not sympton spotting like saddo me!!!]

Hi to everyone hope you re all ok.

Love to Italian,Jolls,Curly and Gum XXX

Evening all,

Hope you are all surviving. Congratulations to Hairy and thankyou for sharing your lovely news.

Gum How are those temps now? A dip is meant to be normal around implantation time.

Italian hope you feel stronger soon. It's so frustrating when you know we can't control time and that it controls us.

Hippy Sorry about the delay of a reply to your message, all done now.

Louise Talking of imagining symptoms (although I hope you're not) The brain is a mighty powerful thing. When I was in my turmoil back in december and couldn't think of all this without crying, I felt so nauseas every day. If I had of been trying then, I would've been convinced I was pregnant. I don't do sickness very well, which is why I don't often bother having more than a couple of drinks if I go out. But I'd welcome morning sickness with open arms.

To everyone else, I apologise for lack of name checking!

We had a weekend away seeing the dysfunctional family. Yes, another one here! Then we've both got straight back into work, so quite tired. I did my first OPK stick today and it was negative. I'm predicted to O tomorrow, but only just got some EWCM today, so maybe off track by a day or so which would make sense with the result.

things are looking grim for this month anyway, as we have crossed shifts and I won't see him indoors until friday. If it doesn't happen I'll find a way to deal with it and continue with my charting (I am obsessed now) to check I am ovulating. It's all good stuff to tell the Doc.

I will be at the Bistro this week, yay!

Big love

Hi ladies.

BFN for me today, but still have good temps.Usually they start dropping at this point, but I have to keep reminding myself the miscarriage was four weeks ago, so things might not be normal for a bit. It remains to be seen.

The worst of it is I don't think I'll get another chance to TTC. Dh and I had long talk yesterday and although he sometimes thinks it would be okay, most of the time he overwhelmingly feels he's had enough of babies and just wants to move on.

I know it is fair enough.We have a large family, it's difficult financially, he's 50 and wants to do other things. So why can't I just let it go? My heart is breaking, and he still says he feels nothing for the baby that died, just sadness for me. So I feel like I'm grieving for my child, not our child. It's a horrible way to grieve.Very lonely. He's trying to be understanding, but sometimes I feel so angry that he can't understand.

So, if this cycle doesn't end up bfp, I think I'm no longer ttc, and that feels bloody awful. I really wanted another chance at holding my newborn.

louise how many DPO are you? Your symptoms sound promising. I hope this is it for you.

Love to all.

oh gum :( :(

Oh Gum sorry xxxx Men just don t understand do they ? When i get upset now my dh asks me whats triggered it???? As i tell him there's nothing triggered off the sadness its always there.He seems to think for me to start crying something must have "happened" but my grief is constant always will be i m just finding different ways to deal with it now.Poor you XXX

Hi to all.

I m cd 24 but sure i m not pg this month.Don t know how many dpo as , if you remember, not sure when/if i ovulated. Was thinking if i ov'd on cd8/9 surely would be a bfp by now.However , am thinking won t test again to cd27/28 if nothing happens.Know sometimes can take a while for a positive test.Know it's best to wait to my af date.

Nicole wejcome to the world of obession it will only get worse!!!!! XX

lou there are long lost tribes in africa who know you think you ov'd early this month Seriously though, I hope this is your month but if not I know you'll be up the duff very soon. Hate to think of you dealing with constant grief but completely understand that grief cannot be switched off. ((()))

gum I don't know what to say to make you feel better, my love. For him it makes perfect sense you have a large family and he is 50 blah blah but none of that stops the need in you to have another baby. I don't think the foetus is all that real to the man. When we had our MMC my DH switched very quickly to focusing on 'next time'. he saw it as a hiccup in our journey and of course when we had an MC 3 months later that again was a hiccup to him. We did give the first one a name but I doubt that my DH feels much for it. He did shed a tear at the scan when they told us there was no heartbeat but he said it was for me as I was so upset. Your little one may only have been an eight week feotus (like mine) but you had hopes and plans for it and thats what hurts so much. I'm sure your hubbie doesn't mean to say he feels nothing for it - he is just approaching the situation from a different direction to you. As you've said before He likes sex and you wont use contraception so I think there may be some TTC going on in the gum household in the future it just might be a bit co-vert (is that how you spell it?) Get yourself down that farmers market and cheer yourself up there. Thinking of you.

nicole am off to read your message now, thanks in advance.

Had another estate agent in today - he was officially the most boring man in the world. he also priced the house way way lower than yesterdays man so I have to get another one in to see who is right. Still at least I'm not constantly thinking about my 's!

Oh Gum that is a bugger about dh I have to say my first thought though was not that you would trick him as such, but if he is as up for it as you say , and doesn't 'use' anything, then what's to say you won't be in with a chance anyway? Let's now discount a bfp this month though - ot does take about 3/4 days after implantation for a bfp to show up, and that's if you're lucky and using super sensitive tests xx
Louise, yes wise to wait till af date. As Hippy says though, if it's not this month it WILL be very soon x
Nicole will book you a table at the bistro for tomorrow night That's a pain about the shifts.
Hippy, go on then, how are the boobs? I have to admit I weakened today and tested at 5, yes FIVE days post-ovulation and got a bfn . I think I've got it out of my system now though and will wait for the requisitie number of high temps before succombing again...
Italian how are you feeling about things today? It was a lot lighter last night on my way home and I thought of you and May.
LOve to all x

Gum, that should have read 'let's not discount a bfp!!!!

Hippy takes hold of Diege and gives her a firm but fair shake! You loopy thing (5 days post Ov!!!!! )

I know. I fully accept my firm but fair shake. It's only because I got 5 free hpts with my ov ones that I was tempted So any symptoms for you Hippy?