Howdy pardners, grab your corset and mosey on down to the BESHt Little Whorehouse for all Wannabe Differs (30's)

[LadyGoneGaga]

Why howdy pardners, tighten your corsets, put a feather in your hair, pull on your boots and garter (*nipple tassles optional but welcome) and mosey on down to the BESHt little whorehouse in all of Diffas. Where the finest 30?s TTCers will fulfil your every need. There?s firewater -?Hendricks-- on tap and we?ll WOOFL you until you can?t WOOFL no more. Yeehaaw.

Menu
Straight up ? the best rootin?, tootin? baby making sechs in 7 counties
Cougar style ? like Doggy but with claws, acceptable for updiffage
Rodeo ? to be followed by a quick dismount to avoid leakage
Sherrif style ? with spurs on
Backdoor ? Recreational but not recommended

Specials
Dildocam ? Half price this month only
Needlework/Foot massage ? for those who like it a little bit woo
Zinc shooters ? to keep the posse on the straight and narrow
Positive thinking ? by the glass
Eggwhite omelettes ? to keep your energy levels up
Gentlemen are kindly reminded to leave all prophylactics by the door and to kindly leave the cowboy juice in the receptacles provided as directed.

MOOOOOOORNIIIIIING HungoverRie oops, sorry, appear to have been a bit loud there. How's your head? Loved the drunken posting, welcome back to the wagonless my love.

Many Happy Returns of the Day to LovelyLyra and Sultryscorps hope you both have fantabulous days with much pampering, giftage and general birthday-girling about.

SaladSpinner I am just too for words at your TT tickets. After almost 3 hours of seeing error messages on the 10 browser windows I had open, I am officially Giving Up.

Owlerino too many cakes? Surely an impossibility. Pliz to explain.

I'm about to have scrumples on toast for brekko too. Am working from home this morning to allow me to complete all manner of tasks such as receiving delivery of new mattress, attend my physio appointment and fail to buy Take That tickets work on a presentation.

RIIIIEEEEE you're alive! Kind of. You made me laff.

prob wont be able to go TBH truffs if you can get to manc on the 3rd of june and fancy going with some crazy scouse birds then you cant have 1st dibs on my ticket.

CAN obviously, not can't

stickyowl have you finished the icing yet? just had lunch and i could go for a cupcake...

Surely we can make good use of all these extra cakes for birthday celebrations!

What cup cakes?

cake? what is all this cake i am hearing mentioned? Is there a BESH bakefest? I love cake and have sent a creamy chocolate gooey version fully iced for all to share. With chocolate dipped strawberries on top (got to get five a day!0

Ah-ha. bitey. Do you know what happened to Daniel?

There has been an overbaking event, Katkin there are 33 excess cupcakes up for grabs, but I think the cakemaker may be buried under excess mixture somewhere...

Nope, nothing to do with me AT ALL. I wasn't even at the rodeo competition

Not changing the subject in ANYWAY but has anyone else found this week to be endlessly, unbelievably long? I have been desperate for Friday since Wednesday! Have stopped week night drinking this week, hmmm are the two linked?

weeeeeell, you seem like an honest sort, I'm sure you wouldn't lie to me....

This week has been intermittently really long (driving endlessly to and from Plymouth) and too, too short (half term is nearly over)

So biteme what is that in amongst your frills?

What this suspicious salty? Just part of the complicated corsettery, gartering, cantalevering and girders that we western beels wear under our clothes peeking out.

Love half term too, doesn't mean don't have to go work - no siree! Does mean that the three primary schools and two comps involved in my daily commute are closed = extra half hour in bed for me!

Happy Birthday to meeeeeeee and GoddessLyra! Thanks for all your luffly wishes and sing songs - I think a few more rousing choruses of Happy Birthday right by RieRie's head will be just the ticket for getting rid of her hangover

This is me... have I got the wild west feem right? [hconfused]

Naw, salts I have only iced the 28 chocolate ones. Now I have to ice the 36 vanilla ones. You may notice a small discrepancy between the 66 and the new total

At least the droid has advanced, we're at 'hint of a tint' so I think it's safe to say I can drink gin until I burst this evening. Am somewhat annoyed though as going on holiday is the only way Mr Shoes isn't too knackered to shag. And we don't have any more holidays. Ergo I am going to be barren forever whilst the SIL merrily expands and I hate myself for feeling this bitter about it. Sorry. Rantrantrant.

Bitey can I have what's left of DC? If there is anything left

Kat Holibobs sounds lovely. :)

Right, am going to ice cakes. If I'm not back in half an hour pliz to phone mountain rescue or lifeboat. They will make good replacement for DC. Mmm, lifeboat.

have alerted the RLNI, they are turning up in their nice uniforms and have the life boat at the ready. They think you will probably require kiss of life. One of them is much fitter than Daniel. Hope you are ready!

I can tell you with utmost authority that while they are undoubtedly very, very brave and do a fine job, many lifeboatmen are in fact overweight, nicotine-stained fishermen with a hero complex.

Hangover is still raging. Can you tell? I am gingerly sipping Lucozade. God, I'm a lightweight.

I miss Headbanger. I WANT HEADBANGER. AND CASS.

Glad kitkat has provided lovely new replacements owly, as boo has taken poor old cowboy craig to Birmingham to be repaired.

Friday afternoon is taking soooooo long to turn into Friday night. Have a bottle of Oyster Bay SB in fridge that I can't stop thinking about!

Here is lifeboat sailor number one Gibber.

And here is sailor number 2. Enjoy!

Yes, that's about right BB, especially number two. "What's your name and where do you come from, Number Two?"

Afternooooooooon all

Happy Birthday to the Birthday girls!

I haz messaged you Cassiopeia! Good to see you, wench.

Yum, number 2. What a hottie.

To go with the witchy theme i wore high heels to work and now feet are killing me. Plus been vay busy today so not caught up with your antics.

But thought I should say a very Happy Birthday to Scorps and Lyra.

Owlie were you charting? Are you dead sure when you ovved? Honestly the internet cheapy tests are rubbish, even the 10ml ones. I got a positive at 14dpo but so faint you could hardly see it at all and it was really clear on a FR. If you are a day or too off where you think you are it could easily not show. They only went nice and dark at about 6 weeks. Hope droid-y stays away x

Heeelllllllooooooo Sailor! There are two RNLI volunteers in my street, both in their sixties, both had heart by passes. I hope think they just do look out stuff though.

Ladybird were any of your little darlings overcome with lust?

Sadly no, but Director was a bit overeyeing me if you ask me. And one of the grads seemed a bit nervy in our two hour meeting but he always is. Sadly no stationary cupboard action but MrG thought I was a very sexy witch and as we are entering sexy time can only be a good thing!

But really am deluding self as amongst all the nervy boy grads are a load of young and sexy girl grads with even more of their foofs on show than mine. And prolly without spaniels ears.

How did my holiday pics get on line so quickly?

Have been searching for my perfect outfit, and came across salty and timesnewroman getting low down and dirty again