Howdy pardners, grab your corset and mosey on down to the BESHt Little Whorehouse for all Wannabe Differs (30's)

[LadyGoneGaga]

Why howdy pardners, tighten your corsets, put a feather in your hair, pull on your boots and garter (*nipple tassles optional but welcome) and mosey on down to the BESHt little whorehouse in all of Diffas. Where the finest 30?s TTCers will fulfil your every need. There?s firewater -?Hendricks-- on tap and we?ll WOOFL you until you can?t WOOFL no more. Yeehaaw.

Menu
Straight up ? the best rootin?, tootin? baby making sechs in 7 counties
Cougar style ? like Doggy but with claws, acceptable for updiffage
Rodeo ? to be followed by a quick dismount to avoid leakage
Sherrif style ? with spurs on
Backdoor ? Recreational but not recommended

Specials
Dildocam ? Half price this month only
Needlework/Foot massage ? for those who like it a little bit woo
Zinc shooters ? to keep the posse on the straight and narrow
Positive thinking ? by the glass
Eggwhite omelettes ? to keep your energy levels up
Gentlemen are kindly reminded to leave all prophylactics by the door and to kindly leave the cowboy juice in the receptacles provided as directed.

Sorry, it took me a while to get the butter icing off the walls, floor and my boots. I wish I was kidding about that but I am not.

BB I especially like number 1, what a fox Ariel I luffs the RNLI even if they are fugly due to the fact I might need them to save Mr Shoes one day (inevitable).

Cass I needed enough to feed about 30 - but could not work out what 1.3 x original recipe was so just made 2 x instead. And allowed for greedy buggers as people might want two cakes, frankly they are welcome to have two cakes, I never want to see another cupcake as long as I live.

LadyG I have an Evil Shag Dictator (aka CBFM) which tells me roughly what's going on; did ov a day late this month so that might explain the droid-delay. Definitely here now though. Beep.

Excellent work on the Massive Shoes/tiny frock combo

What the holy God did you type into the search engine Starry?

lesbi-cowgirl-eroto-violence, perhaps?

Happy birthday to the scorpio twinz, hope you're both having fabulous days and being spoilt rotten.

Twittwoopoultrybits Sorry to hear the bleeping fucker is on his way. Perhaps you and Mr Owl will have to have to have some sick days that just happen to coincide and you're not actually ill? Can you and Cassie throw some baked goodies my way please, pretty purlease?

ArielBio You are a very funny lady and have made me laugh today. Thank you! Hope the lucozade and marmite haz done the trick. I luuuuuurve marmite and must have it daily or I do miss it, lots. I even took a jar on my travels across SE Asia...it melted all over my bag. Still love it though.

In my news I am a very grumpy bugger today, for the following reasons. Yep I haz a list it's that bad, feel free to ignore.

1. Feel like shite with a stinking cold and now searing earache :(
2. Because of said cold I have done pretty much nothing of the long list of stuff I was going to get done so have completely wasted time off work :( 3)I haz yet to find someone to buy my house and have doubts I will be able to in the next few months and so will have to take it off the market and contemplate being here for at least another 9-12 months :(
3. I haz yet to win my baybee and am realising that it may never happen which makes my cry. Which when full of cold is actually really bloody painful :(
4. I'm fed up of waiting....and fed up of being told it will teach me patience. When I started TTC I thought I would be having my baybee in 2010....now I'll be lucky to have them in 2012, if at all :(

Annnnnd breeeeeaaaathe.

Soz rant over - I think I need to get a punch bag, I'll just scream into this pillow instead. Bloody hell I've got the rage today.

As you were.

Where is Saltoftheearth ? Is she off somewhere gorging herself on toasted goods?

cinco come ere for a cuddle and some lesbo erotic violence. Sometimes life is too hard.

Aw cinco lovely :(

Here, let me clear your snot-raddled nostrils with this hoover attachment.

Am liking the sickie-throwing plan, may consider it as measure of desperation.

Merci for song compliment stewpot, am pathetically grateful as had thought had killed fred last night, and this morning, and was feeling [embarrassed]

5star here, have a spur round your earhole, followed by gentle soothing strokes a bit lower. As is evidenced by said holiday photos (above I was referring to #2 and BBB's unflattering resemblence) my boozwams are ample enough to take you and your store of tissues, come nestle here and let me blow your nose. Am with you on the house buy thing- our life has/will be on hold until a house sale goes through and I use it as excuse to put every other thing on hold too...bah humbug to the crappy hostage holding housing market. Are you looking to leave RH'sville altogether?

Wasn't really looking through the internet, had that pic on my favourites, I've always liked the saucy but oh so subtle use of nipple shading.

I'm trying to be really calm and cool about this, like salad but am screaming like a Bay City Roller fan in full tartan inside, just got confirmation email that have in fact bought TT tickets, and not just flushed half a grand down internet toilet-

SickySnottyTart poor love, I think Sailor number one is eyeing you up if you're interested? Boo to the fucking cold - loads of people suffering with at the moment, tiz horrible. Would this nice brandy with honey and lemon juice help?

All that long list of stuff can just wait - it won't hurt, I'm sure it's much more important to get better. Can you pile into bed? We tough ladies are not very good at resting when we feel poorly we always feel guilty for not getting other stuff done.

Nothing I can say will help on the babyfail front, but I know how you feel and if crying snottily and having a rage and feeling sad for a bit helps you get it out your system, then go ahead. Then have a warm shower, some nice warm food, and get some rest without feeling guilty. When you're feeling better you can sort out plans to make sure you DO get your baby. You know the BESH army is behind you 100% and will do everything in our power to pick you up when you're feeling down, and get you to your goal in the end.

Thanks laydeez. Was sure I was doing ok but think I was in de nile about how I'm feeling as as soon as I've had time on my hands I can't stop thinking about it again :(

Congrats on the tickets star

Cass I think I saw Salty disappear into the saloon bar with a forklift truck box full of jam jars muttering about egg whites?

Aaaw Barbie thanks you. I have tears again you're so lovely.

Barbie I'm welling up at how lovely your post is. Cinco do you want anyone to join you in bed to cop a feel blow your nose and serve up hot toddies. Colds are horrid aren't they? They make everything so much harder, but at the same time you feel like you shouldn't feel that ill as it's "only" a cold.

I know Rie - I think it must be a virulent strain of manflu that I have I now have to pull myself together as I promised to meet my Mum at the supermarket to get ingredients together for the meal I said I'd cook for the family on Sunday Would much rather stayed superglued to the sofa with my blanket and laptop.

You're all so heartwarmingly brilliant laydeez, I'm so glad I met you.

I don't know if any of you saw it, but I posted a list on the PESH yesterday - doing a quick head count from the "first evah" BESH thread. We had 10 regulars (plenty fell by the wayside) - 9 either are now in the posession of a real live baybee (one greedy caaah has 2!) or they're now pregnant. BESH power will impregnate you all in the end.

Afternoon BESHerama

Saladz I may indeed feel like taking you up on that offer and am certain I could quite enjoy spending time with you Liverbird mates

CincoCincoSeis pliz to not feel sad, let me stroke you like this, come on, you know you want a snog cuddle

Moleington am also of your TT tickets as well. I spent 3 hours this morning refreshing 10 browser windows and have had something running in the background pretty much all afternoon since I got to work but nothing, nada, niecht. I've managed to get through to the order page on Ticketmaster but it can't process my request (I even tried ordering the 95 quid tickets to see if the law of sod made the order go through) Boo hoo. Are they going to open that Samaritans helpline up again like they did when Williams left?

Right, am shortly going to leave the office thank the Lord. Have decided I need A Lot Of Wine this evening. As the bigger than me sized cardboard wrapping that our new mattresss came in is shut in the kitchen as I didnlt know what to do with it (and could barely manouvre it in the first place) this morning, TGB and I will need to do something with that so I think that alone will earn me at least a bottle coupls of glasses. Given that I've also dealt with droid this week and have to see diffed for the third time SIL tomorrow, I think that might quickly increase. Oh and no TT tickets, maybe I should take some milk thistle before wandering to the pub. What would you recommend Rie my love?

and P.S. I am in the same beautiful pea green boat Owl as am destined to be Barren Forever whilst SIL pops out sprog after sprog without so much as a sniff of a pee stick (seriously, I wonder if they even have sex or if she just looks at BIL and poof, there's a BOC)

Evening BESHers... I've been on hols for a week. Just back marking the new Fred. Am loving the rootin tootin cowboy theme.

Tartlet colds are wank. End of. They make the world feel grey.

Oh and cross post with AlpinoismyfavouriteThorntonschoc thanks for the uplifting posting of winningness to inspire us newer arrivals to the BESHhood.

Pony that is a fabulous statistic and cheers me somewhat. We shall all get there in the end; no BESH left behind :)

Truffs you have earned All The Wine esp. for the rotten SIL instadiff shite. Would recommend a pie before you go to the pub, can't underestimate the goodness of a large pie before boozing.

Your names on it truffleskin from what the PESHs are saying I probably wont even want to leave the house by that point.

So sorry the lurgy has got you tartoflette and that the TTC is causing you so much anguish :( Everything looks worse when you are under the weather tho. Tucke in tonight and cancel sunday if you're not feeling up to it.

rie FEELING BETTER? :o

We have added pesto pasta to TBs cooking repertoire, along sweet potato wedges and cowboy hot pot. Hopefully by June he will be able to cook 7 dishes.

Awww, Cinco, my poor little Maid Marian! Hope on Auntie 'Pette's knee for sinister fumblings a kiss and a cuddle to make you all horny better.

Send me details of your house and I'll buy it (well, possibly - we're looking in your area. For houses, I mean, not at your foofoo. Although that as well [hwink]). Having manflu makes everything a gazillion times worse but you're so right about waiting teaching patience being a load of arsebuckets. It doesn't teach you patience, it just teaches you how quickly a person can sink into a semi-constant depression and how arbitrary and unfair life is [hsad] But AlproSoyaMilk speaks wise words - of the original 10 BESH (hallowed be their names), all of them have conceived and most of them had a few (or a lot) of TTC ishoos. Remember our motto - NO BESH LEFT BEHIND. It will happen - unfortunately, it's never, ever soon enough.

Please to enjoy this Lemsip and absinthe cocktail I have lovingly prepared for you. It won't make you better but the vile taste and knock-out effect should take your mind off everything! [hgrin]

Thanks - I do feel a bit better now, especially as I had a taster of a lovely single malt whilst shopping, hot toddy here I come!

Truffles What is is with instadiff SIL's? I have one too and this time OMG!1!!!2!!1!!TWINZ are on their way. Here have this rather nice bottle of port seeing as it's all windy, damo and autumnal out there. I used to drink port in large wine glasses - my eyes popped out of my head when I saw the tiny glasses you're supposed to drink it from.

Hello Sunny. How were your hols, were they sunny?

Ta mattherhornass for that lovely statistic. It is reassuring. As I've said all along if someone could guarantee I'd be a mum within the next few years I would stop fretting about it, it's the complete uncertainty that does my head in. Yes I am a bit of a control freak.

Rocky The menu sounds good - what is cowboy hotpot - sounds as though it should be on the BESH whorehouse menu [hwink]

Mmmmmmm..pie.

Alright lovely Beshies? Here, have Daniel back. He really enjoyed feeding the ducks at Cannon Hill Park, but got very sulky when we wouldn't let him have an ice cream.

I am now off to a partay (with Crabbes ginger beer in tow) so I will catch up on the morrow. Taraa!