Howdy pardners, grab your corset and mosey on down to the BESHt Little Whorehouse for all Wannabe Differs (30's)

[LadyGoneGaga]

Why howdy pardners, tighten your corsets, put a feather in your hair, pull on your boots and garter (*nipple tassles optional but welcome) and mosey on down to the BESHt little whorehouse in all of Diffas. Where the finest 30?s TTCers will fulfil your every need. There?s firewater -?Hendricks-- on tap and we?ll WOOFL you until you can?t WOOFL no more. Yeehaaw.

Menu
Straight up ? the best rootin?, tootin? baby making sechs in 7 counties
Cougar style ? like Doggy but with claws, acceptable for updiffage
Rodeo ? to be followed by a quick dismount to avoid leakage
Sherrif style ? with spurs on
Backdoor ? Recreational but not recommended

Specials
Dildocam ? Half price this month only
Needlework/Foot massage ? for those who like it a little bit woo
Zinc shooters ? to keep the posse on the straight and narrow
Positive thinking ? by the glass
Eggwhite omelettes ? to keep your energy levels up
Gentlemen are kindly reminded to leave all prophylactics by the door and to kindly leave the cowboy juice in the receptacles provided as directed.

Afternoon BESHies. 4dpo here. I have sore breasts. Am coming to the conclusion that I ALWAYS have sore breasts. Round ovulation, when pre-menstrual, when pregnant. Hmmmm. Am hoping I have a proper luteal phase this time not stupid 7 days like last time. Been taking Bvits to extend.

Anyone else commencing their WOOFLing right now?

I'm not zen, never have been, never will be so no use pretending

I spent much of the weekend working. Not impressed.

Barry White makes me vom. Physically vom. Tis not the way to my heart, that's for sure.

I am not going to WOOFL this month when the time for WOOFLing comes. I am going to embrace my inner crone and take up knitting instead whilst cursing all GUFFs roundly.

I also worked this w/e , G , twas shite. Doing two jobs is knackering me out.

Lorry ! Hello lovely. How are you?

Just feel the need to point out that I wasn't actually talking about having the sechs with Barry, alright?!

Ladygeeup Sore boobs AND tingly nips?

Not tingly but sore. Am breastfeeding MiniG still twice a day (yes, I know, Bitty etc etc) and it's hurting at the mo. But this would be very early days so prob all be in my head since any BOC wouldn't even have implanted yet.

More likely to be pre-droid and will have useless, short luteal phase again. B'ah.

Cna I just say that this thread at the top is hilarious?

I think there may be some other quality stuff in that section which I have only just discovered. There goes my afternoon

Thanks hooters! Will be my afternoon fodder! Sorry for the radio silence been travelling all over the country for a wedding, which has broken my heart due to the extreme numbers of cute children in attendance. And why do they always congregate near me? Within two minutes of us standing next to an empty table all the babies and children has also set up camp next to us and we were corralled (sp?) by multiple pushchairs. Seeing Mr B play peekaboo with the gorgeous two year old sitting next to him at the meal just about killed me. Oh and had the obligatory "You may have noticed so and so's not drinking....she's pregnant" the night before too.

Oh and droid is here! Sorry for the general offloading I'll HTFU now!

BB that is exceptionally sucky in particular the droidular evil. You may need these: Following on from the 'what do we think other BESHies look like' convo earlier, I always imagine you in a witch's hat. I think it is because of your previous nickname for some reason.

I wonder if there is any tiffin left on the fred? I think tiffin might be the cure for all ills, if the chocolate on the top is set now.

Ooo yes tiffin sounds nice. With a mug of tea. The Baby Making Bible is supposed to change your droid so I'm secretly intrigued to see if it has made any difference. That is actually quite tragic that my life has come to this!

StinkyWizzleTeats is actually from Ren and Stimpy. I imagine you have a cool selection of shoes, maybe from Irregular Choice.

Hello Beshettes, there seems to be a lot of fred to catch up on here! Am ++ stressed in work today and mad collegaue has just accused me of looking hormonal. Am tempted to reply and say no not hormonal just exhausted from all the sechs I have been having to try and live up to your unreasonable expectations! WTF is looking hormonal anyway? Sorry is all about me, will catch up the noo.....

Naw; I is too cheap for those fancy things (although they are rather lovely and mad).

I do actually own some owl shoes though. Which reminds me it must be time for my annual shoe cull. I shall photo them and then dispose of the crap ones. Last time I did this I had 21 pairs. I suspect I have more than 21 pairs now :(

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=4.bp.blogspot.com/_xPRJcY91HB4/SkZsU4gYIkI/AAAAAAAAAb0/OYngthBsqBI/s400/ba-gorilla05_ph1_0500229745.jpg&imgrefurl=www.fupenguin.com/2009/07/only-i-can-save-everyone-from-this-baby.html&usg=__UDIMacgclVc8_ME0gIz5ofopE8g=&h=333&w=400&sz=40&hl=en&start=93&sig2=lTk4LZ2RldPNbaoRn61BFw&zoom=1&tbnid=Gp1s-lVU_xndKM:&tbnh=142&tbnw=172&ei=mhrYTJb7O4fQjAfW84nrCQ&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dgorilla%2Bbaby%2Bpictures%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DX%26rlz%3D1T4RNWE_enGB315GB220%26biw%3D1259%26bih%3D795%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C2893&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=812&vpy=423&dur=1212&hovh=205&hovw=246&tx=124&ty=103&oei=ZRrYTPfAC4nIhAe53IHLBQ&esq=5&page=5&ndsp=25&ved=1t:429,r:23,s:93&biw=1259&bih=795" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">starryeyedsquirrel

hello, anyone at POASing time yet?

That is a monkey, Bitey - I do like the splendid fox thingy though.

Thanks owly was supposed to be a gorillababy for starnosedmole but may well have done it very wrong!

medee it is another week before I can POAS but not giving in to it this month as thought I had followed body's insructions very carefully only to wake up this morning to the return of the eggwhite. FDH is already trying to hide from me so don't rate my chances of a SWI later! How about you?

mylittlealpinepony please send cheese in aerosol in my direction, sounds like just the thing for a hangover! Or also for the sechs for fun [dirty and wrong emoticon]

I am only charting and not temping at the moment. Has any PESH/FESH had success without temping thus far?

I don't really mess with my CVM either. Time to start. Although hope am not laying just yet as I am working late tonight (back in time for the last spooks though, sob!).

Hello BESHes. Sorry I reneged on my promise to catch up with you over the weekend, I was busy doing General RL Stuff .

No time for WOOFLing here, as droid has arrived a week early. 21 day cycle, what the fucking fuck . No, tis not implantation, honest - had a swoosh of pink yesterday which was odd, but tis droid proper today :(. Only good news is can start using shiny new CBFM tomorrow (what a pitiful thing to be excited about).

I don't know about the rest of UK but it is FUCKING FREEEZING here in Manc. I am wearing black from head to toe to reflect my mood .

Snogs and sticky parkin cake to all.

Boo I have been charting without temping because my sleep is so disturbed that I never thought temp would work (also am lazy). I have been paying religious attention to pant snot though. Obviously that hasn't worked for me.

Lyra!!! How are you, gorgeous? November has arrived with a vengeance hasn't it? :(

Get this droid out of the way and start the CBFM with religious zeal is my advice. Look on it as a positive (which you seem to be doing already of course ) I too am far too lazy to take temps but I rummage with the best of them

Hello LovelyLorry too

ChartLyraChart I am excited for your fertility monitor action this month. Behold the great sechs dictator and cower under his gaze. Boo to surprise early droid, I hate him. Thanks for the cake, am spitting out crumbs as I speak....

BirdFootwear I also own some owl shoes, they are slip on pump things from Rocket Dog. I was utterly in love with them for a whole summer and wore them pretty much every day. In fact so much that by the time I have ruined them with over wearing, the style had been discontinued and even a grovelling weepy email to Rocket Dog HQ could not muster a replacement pair. I've never quite been the same again.

I have just been annoyed when I recalled that I didn't get anything out for dinner tonight and as it's Monday I can't really go with Friday's backup. Bah, I will need to go to a shop on my way home and IT IS FREAKING FREEZING. (yes, same down here LovelyLyra boo hiss to winter)

P.S I meant to say that the link to MN classics had me laughing out loud at just the thread titles. Specifically 'cunting Sainsburys)

Howdy BESHes - well it's been a while, how the devil are you all doing?

Mr T and I are now officially throwing everything we can at TTC in a bid to avoid the looming IVF. It's not that we haven't been pant snot charting and being healthy and stuff (like, er...having sechs) it's just we're now ramping it all up. I have just started temping today (I'll be joining you on t'other fred Lady as a bit clueless on this) and we are following diets recommended according to our 'types'. Bloody typical that we're opposites so meal times are going to be interesting.

'Tis luvverlee to see you all. I promise to stop being a fauxBESH and actually be around more than once in a blue moon.

I promise that I will do my best,
To take my temp daily (and not spend the next 2 hours unable to sleep thinking about baybees)
To eat more healthily than I've ever managed before and let no alcohol pass my lips (well occasionally as the TCM rule is '80% is perfection' after all
To have sechs with intent everyday before laying and make it enjoyable not a chore
And to keep the BESH Law*

*see previous TAO thread

and at the classic threads and + [wince emoticon] at the ice lolly stick stuck in fanjo

Can you just make the normal food you were going to make then separate it out into his and hers according to type? You may end up with a pile of brussel sprouts and nowt else though.

Lyra week early droid is the fecking pits. I mean really, that's just not on. Pliz to ignore the witterings of the CBFM for at least the first 2 cycles or it will have you shagged out before you hit the peak, little electronic bastard that it is.

I

Evening laydeees!

Cinco, self and Mr F are also hoping to phone the fertility clinic and say "Ha! We don't need you! In your face!". Good on you for your ongoing health-drive. We had a month off being good this month - went on holiday, got pissed lots, drank coffee, ate really badly etc. All very good and relaxing.

But now the Evil Droid is 4 days late, and all our nonchalance has evaporated. He does it on purpose to wind us up, the bastard-coated-bastard.

Anyone got some happy soothing thoughts to fling this way? If not some of that lardy cake will suffice.