Howdy pardners, grab your corset and mosey on down to the BESHt Little Whorehouse for all Wannabe Differs (30's)

[LadyGoneGaga]

Why howdy pardners, tighten your corsets, put a feather in your hair, pull on your boots and garter (*nipple tassles optional but welcome) and mosey on down to the BESHt little whorehouse in all of Diffas. Where the finest 30?s TTCers will fulfil your every need. There?s firewater -?Hendricks-- on tap and we?ll WOOFL you until you can?t WOOFL no more. Yeehaaw.

Menu
Straight up ? the best rootin?, tootin? baby making sechs in 7 counties
Cougar style ? like Doggy but with claws, acceptable for updiffage
Rodeo ? to be followed by a quick dismount to avoid leakage
Sherrif style ? with spurs on
Backdoor ? Recreational but not recommended

Specials
Dildocam ? Half price this month only
Needlework/Foot massage ? for those who like it a little bit woo
Zinc shooters ? to keep the posse on the straight and narrow
Positive thinking ? by the glass
Eggwhite omelettes ? to keep your energy levels up
Gentlemen are kindly reminded to leave all prophylactics by the door and to kindly leave the cowboy juice in the receptacles provided as directed.

I do have a bit of a lesbie friends crush on Kyles, although partial to a bit of Dannii too

Did feel a bit sad for Jimi as he's better than Michelle, can't imagine who is voting for her. Am hoping Katie goes tonight in X Factor. She annoys the bejeezus out of me.

Where do you get hangovers? I am usually ok immediately upon waking and then develop dagger like headache on left side which increases throuhgout afternoon til I go bed swearing it wasn't worth it. I don't normally feel sick unless I was really really norty. But then I haven;t had absinthe for a long time, and at my age it's not a good idea.

Oooh my Homeboy's through. I probably know him. Is he too young to lust after a little? It's wrong isn't it?

haven't
sorry- was distracted by Aiden

Do you think Beyonce is paying a load of telesales people to vote for Michelle as a favour? I still think it's bizarre she's in it- especially when would have thought she was famous enought to go on American one, and I bet they get more money?

In my eyes and the middle of my head.

We did those absinthe bomb things. It was like being a student again. It was all my sister's boyfriends fault.

*own

I made 2 small window panels curtains today, but only 'cos it was raining and I couldn't be bothered to go out.

Primal Scream are NOT doing Kellogg's are they?! That's kind of sad but cool at the same time. Next we'll have Arcade Fire doing Pampers or something.

Is there any tiffin going?

Agree Boo horrible isn't it?

MoleFeatures I wish she was on the American one so I could avoid watching any of her dancing.

I can't wait to see Cheryl send one of her own acts home. I reeeeeally hope Katie's number is up tonight. I like Treyc in spite of the ridiculous way she spells her name.

Primula is RANCID, both of us bork at that advert. On this subject how can someone not tell the difference between cream cheese and cheese spread? I ask someone in work to get me some cream cheese the other day, she even rang my up from the supermarket and asked me if I wanted Philly or own brand, I said own brand and she brought be back what is blatantly own brands rip off of Dairy Lea. WTF? Its really not that hard is it?

Haha, I was going to go to bed but now Cheryl has to choose between 2 of hers I think I'm going to have to stay up and watch it. (sorry milano)

I meant that Primal Scream are advertising cornflakes, not the hangover, although that's pretty gruesome too

Treyc? As is Tracy but spelt ridiculously?

I can't believe that!!! Dannii is the only judge with any balls. I don't think Cole should get paid for this week as she's refused to do her job. (I get why it's hard but it's what she signed up for)

Apologies for overuse of exclames. Got a bit over zealous. Must calm down. It's only X Factor.

Hee Hee Truffs yes I thought that's what you meant :o

For Milano's benefit I feel I must point out that it's only that 'moving on up' is used on the ad soundtrack, it's not that Bobby Gillespie is seen tucking into a bowl in his PJs :o

Righto I'm off to Downton.

Yeehaw!

Beshettes, you must think me most rude for saying Hi there, then vanishing. My t'internet broke for an entire bloody week, during which I could only imagine what mischief was going on in here.

Why are you all watching StrictlyComeXfactor when you could be cheering yourself up with repeats of Gavin and Stacey (Beeb3)?

Can I tell my Downton claim to fame? can I? Can I?
(in case you haven't noticed this is What I Do. I only have tenuous minor celebrity links as a topic of conversation, if you want religion/politics/economics, don't come here (unless you want to know about how my friend worked as a researcher for previous Foreign Secretary) but at least I don't dress it up as anything worthy or important. I am in complete awareness of my triviality)

That said- I used to live with the niece writer of Downton Abbey and they were very close and he would ring up all the time, and we would take the mickey about how posh he was...

Niece of the writer of Downton

Clearly this is why no one has fawned at my fetlock, and it's not because everyone's gone to bed now...

gin GIIIINNNNNN sadly everyone else has left the thread now, and it's just me muttering my sad stories to myself hope you and ginlet doing very well and blooming? Here, boo's left her absinthe, have some, it's alcohol free honest..

Starry I am most impressed. I should be in bed now. I am just clinging onto the last moments of my annual leave I think.

ginfox I have the G&S boxsets - but must not watch during TTC lest I set off my stace-rage at her hiding TTC from Gav. [grr] I do not watch strictly come x-factor. Evah.

rocket I have access to wonderful european cheeses but jailbait likes processed slices. He also thinks it's acceptable for "cheese" to come in a squirty aerosol. There's nothing wrong with a little "la vache qui rit" once in a while - but let's not pretend it's something it isn't! Although I'm a hypocrite - I'm surrounded by all these amazing French & Dutch cheeses and I got all excited about a piece of Stilton yesterday.

Morning Hags.

I luff Gavin and Stacey. I have never watched Stricty Come X-Rated or whatever these things are.

Welcome back Ginlet , tis most distressing to have the broken internet for that long and does make for an awful lot of catching up. Here, let me stand over you looking stern

Tis Day 10/11 in the Owl household. The Shag Dictator has not yet told me to go for it which is odd as last month it was far more enthusiastic this early in the game. However, I am not menkulling about it; I wonder if perhaps it has finally worked out that 7 days of high followed by two of peak is a physical impossibility.

Saw Andrew Lawrence last night, he is a comedian. He was v. funny and I recommend him if he happens to be passing by you lot.

Morning Hagerinos, hope you are all well on this cold, wet and blustery day (in Londres anyway)

I am also a fan of Gavlar and Stacey, although a decent period of time needs to pass before I can watch them again so I can forget some of the jokes and therefore enjoy it more.

I proper luffs Strictly though, my absolute faves. Not so fussed at X Factor but TGB likes to rant at it and he was so lovely yesterday that I could not deny him his guilty pleasure.

So in TTC news I am anticipating egg layage this week and have got off to a cracking (doh!) start with clothes off sechs yesterday and this morning. Check. Me. Out.

Any exciting news in BESHville today?

Truffs that is some top notch SWI, well done. I just cannot be arsed yet. Maybe tomorrow. No point in overcooking it too early in the game, egg-laying is predicted for Friday perhaps?

I am only around CD 8 but usually ov around day 11 or 12 so might try to get me some hot lovin' (in true Barry White style) tomorrow.
If I can be arsed.
That's all.

Mmm, Bazza. The Walrus of Luuuurve.