Howdy pardners, grab your corset and mosey on down to the BESHt Little Whorehouse for all Wannabe Differs (30's)

[LadyGoneGaga]

Why howdy pardners, tighten your corsets, put a feather in your hair, pull on your boots and garter (*nipple tassles optional but welcome) and mosey on down to the BESHt little whorehouse in all of Diffas. Where the finest 30?s TTCers will fulfil your every need. There?s firewater -?Hendricks-- on tap and we?ll WOOFL you until you can?t WOOFL no more. Yeehaaw.

Menu
Straight up ? the best rootin?, tootin? baby making sechs in 7 counties
Cougar style ? like Doggy but with claws, acceptable for updiffage
Rodeo ? to be followed by a quick dismount to avoid leakage
Sherrif style ? with spurs on
Backdoor ? Recreational but not recommended

Specials
Dildocam ? Half price this month only
Needlework/Foot massage ? for those who like it a little bit woo
Zinc shooters ? to keep the posse on the straight and narrow
Positive thinking ? by the glass
Eggwhite omelettes ? to keep your energy levels up
Gentlemen are kindly reminded to leave all prophylactics by the door and to kindly leave the cowboy juice in the receptacles provided as directed.

BESHes I ahve been drinking absinthe. Oh dear. MrBoo didn't. we came home from the party and I have no-obe to play with.

If I drink water will I get drunker or is that an urban myth?

boo i have no idea. i have only ever drunk absinthe when i am so far beyond the pale that water wouldn't make any diff. I have had to get up and get a glass of milk and a butty to stop stomach rumbling. wtf? am not stopping long...

Are you at your Mum's or did you just come back for the day for the funeral? I am really quite hammered. Head's a bit spinny.

Dammit I missed you. Was reading AIBU in the hope it would sober me up. Oh I am soo going to regret this tomorrow.

Un mumsnetty hugs Salade re your weeping. My shoulder is always available xxxx

Hoorah for the absinthe! Nice one Boo , hope the hangover isn't too legendary

I am a broken boo.

Absinthe..... Boo come here and lie on the huge sofa and I will bring you tea and crumpets and pickled onion monster munch (my failsafe hangover cure)

morning Boo hope the pain is ebbing away and that the night was enough fun to make it worthwhile!

Salade strokes for you and well done on reading the poem. I know how hard that is.

I'm today rejoicing that in spite of drinking a varied mixture of beer, red wine, vodka and various 'shooters' last night, I feel fine today and have been up long enough to watch last nights' Strictly been back to bed long enough for funsechs (TM) with TGB and back up again to make a fry up. Am looking forward to Grand Prix action and also catching up with X Factor whilst fast forwarding through adverts.

Good morning! Hope you are surviving the hangover boo I have a bit of a wine head going on but was worth it for a good night out. My tip is pringles! Always does the trick.

I am feeling vaguely normal now, thanks for all the totally undeserved lurve. Thankfully MrBoo let me have a lie in and boomeister is wanting to watch favourite cbeebies shows in the iplayer all day so far. I may even venture out for a walk. Could I still be drunk? or maybe I really am a DHB!

hehe boo is it mean of me to be slightly amused at your plight? Hope you are feeling better.

I am going to make some tiffin.

Ricochet Sorry to hear about your uncle :(
"make some tiffin" - how does one attempt to do such a thing?

how are you feeling? Walks always make me feel much worse if I'm hungover.

Went to see fwend's newer-than-new baby (just 4 days old) and came over all funny. Such a cute wee thing, but she says her nips are killing her ;)
Pissing down here bored sigh

Have you met bored sigh? I think she knows quite well.

I succumbed to the coat envy and bought this beautiful coat

Milano I think I may call you boredsigh from now on..... Rocketts how has your tiffin turned out. I made some once. It stuck to the tin. I like the word tiffin. I would like to have some with tea.

Ooh, tis gorg, Shiney . Although you may have to scrape me off the floor now I have looked at the price

I DEMAND tiffin. Preferably an A4-sized tray full.

This may be why I am expanding despite desperate attempts to eat healthily.

Milano You did well not to steal it :) I'm not sure I could cope with teeny baybees atm. Tis a damn lucky thing I no longer work on a maternity ward :/

That coat is lush Sundance. I think you should send it to me actually.

I have had a very outdoorsy weekend. Went to sea today and now my face is on fire.

In baybee making news there is absolutely none whatsoever. None.

just melting the chocolate for the topping now so you'll all have to wait a bit.

shinyshiny that coat is bloody gorgeous!!! I might have to mug your postman for it.

aries your weekend sounds lovely apart from the burning face. ouch

Sweet mother of all that is good and alcoholic, I didn't know you could pay that much for a coat It's ver ver beautiful, and looks like it comes with a dose of chutzpah and serene coolness included, so go you

BOO!! Boo (just checking) Sorry missed you last night, would have loved to have been entertained by you!

We have had lovely day in sunshine, sometimes this dump wherein which I live is really not that bad, and does have really lovely park and zoo. Have been having deep and meaningful discussions as to what the bejeesus we're going to do with the next twenty years or so, and the only concrete decision I've made is that next time I'd like to have a little gorilla baby instead of a human one OMG!!they're soooooo CUTE!!! ~(And I bet they don't need to get funded through university too, and you'd save on clothes, and holidays (couldn't get passport, have to stay with grandparents) It's the way forward.

I want that coat. I am not talking to any of you until someone gets it from Shineyarse and gives it to me. so there.

I will show the person who gets me the coat my boobs.

before I start the ignoring could I just say OMGGORILLABAYBEEZ!!!111!!!!

Have killed early evening activity with either
a) talk of birthing hairy primates, or
b) brackets fail.

I know which one it is more likely to be on this fred, that's for sure:

) There, is that better?

salty ,if I get a picture of the coat, can I see a picture of your boobs?

I've just about caught up with you chatterboxes. The problem with going away is that the things that need doing don't happen in the meantime. So I missed talking about boots and school stories and all kinds of fun things.

I'm trying to emulate Salty's zen state of being - I don't think I'll survive another month as menkul as the last one. (Note to droid, please don't piss me around again, it's no fun). So I've booked us an appointment at an alternative fertility clinic place that does needles and nutritional advice and hypnotherapy and all sorts. I'm hoping this will make me feel like I'm doing something and reduce the menkul, but we'll see. So, that's Thursday's fun to look forward to.

I don't know about the lack of swearing, but there's not been enough violence round these parts recently