Howdy pardners, grab your corset and mosey on down to the BESHt Little Whorehouse for all Wannabe Differs (30's)

[LadyGoneGaga]

Why howdy pardners, tighten your corsets, put a feather in your hair, pull on your boots and garter (*nipple tassles optional but welcome) and mosey on down to the BESHt little whorehouse in all of Diffas. Where the finest 30?s TTCers will fulfil your every need. There?s firewater -?Hendricks-- on tap and we?ll WOOFL you until you can?t WOOFL no more. Yeehaaw.

Menu
Straight up ? the best rootin?, tootin? baby making sechs in 7 counties
Cougar style ? like Doggy but with claws, acceptable for updiffage
Rodeo ? to be followed by a quick dismount to avoid leakage
Sherrif style ? with spurs on
Backdoor ? Recreational but not recommended

Specials
Dildocam ? Half price this month only
Needlework/Foot massage ? for those who like it a little bit woo
Zinc shooters ? to keep the posse on the straight and narrow
Positive thinking ? by the glass
Eggwhite omelettes ? to keep your energy levels up
Gentlemen are kindly reminded to leave all prophylactics by the door and to kindly leave the cowboy juice in the receptacles provided as directed.

HAHA, I've literally come over here to tell you that! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1076415-to-want-to-re-read-the-whole-Malory-Towers-and-St-Claires-series

Great minds and all that

Embarrassingly teenaged use of 'literally', there

Ariel EPO? What is this pliz?

Have already resorted to the Preseed. Despite managing to get knocked up the first time round without grapefruit juice, CBFMs, piss-sticks or any of this shizzle.

Mental doesn't do it justice.

Where's salty ? I need to rub her and improve my calmness. Ommmm.

Soz. Evening Primrose Oil. Or you can try Starflower Oil if you want to be posh. Very good for droidal boob pain too.

Putting the Woo in WOOFL, we are.

I have not encountered this starflower oil stuff. It is probably also bollocks but if I don't get updiffed before SIL drops sprog I may have to emigrate so I may try it anyway. Srsly.

I got knocked up without dipping my fanjo in grapefruit juice, chinese herbs, weeing on sticks or consulting psychics. I used good old-fashioned sperm and cunty's aspirin wisdom.

Have decided to start TTC asap. Bear is so beautiful. WANT MORE! This is career suicide so this time I'm keeping shtum until about 20 minutes before I must legally tell them.

Evening all. What's the crack with asprin then?

Oh YES to Clive, hot hot hot, loved him in Children of Men and that is fairly recent.

David is to drippy and has appalling taste in women so he'd never go for me anyway :o

hot hot hot

Oh well if you're talking true blood then it has to be HIM He could bite my lily white neck anytime :o

I luffs True Blood. Tis my fave programme at the mo.

Me too, and it just gets better! (which is good as sometimes these things can tail off a bit)

Just you and me in the Palais tonight sunnyD?

Looks like it! Mr Sol isn't home from work so I am all alone at home.

I is here, but sulking as no one wanted to know which elderly actor I offended by mocking becks.

True Blood is On Too Late. I only watched the first two, and then missed too many and got all lost. Still in this day of the box set, nothings lost, will just gorge myself on it one of these days. When I've finished the Wire, and Madmen.

Tb has taken over the TV to watch football all inebriating liquids gratefully received.

c'mon moley spill the beans then. The Wire is brillig. Havent started Mad Men yet as we need to finish Breaking Bad. Oh its a hard life....

Have you seen the Clive Owen one in the bank? With Denzel I think? Inside Man? He's pretty there too.

Forgot my review of Burke and Hare: meh.

I bet you ^Don't Believe It^, even if I do tell you...

I have to watch TB on the V Plus. I am mostly sleeping by 10.15pm which Mr Sol laffs at me for. I struggle to stay awake at important times of the month so often have to jump him when he gets in or no action takes place

mole who was it??

I think this is the perfect opportunity for us to interrogate find out a little more about sunshineonarainyday....so are you a Northern hard nut, or a southern shandy wuss?

oh dear REALLY unfortunate typo of mine there.

Moley tell us moley, c'mon tell tell tell tell I can keep this up for ages.

youaremysunshine I think I might excel myself and be in bed by 9 tonight. Had a crap night last night with TB coughing in his sleep so woke up pretty much every hour and now I've just eaten it's hit my like a ton of bricks. I very rarely watch anything when its actually scheduled, it all gets taped or downloaded for later viewing.

I'm from the Midlands.....

oooh, me too! But live up north now. East or west Mids?

What's your favourite colour?

Do you have any tatoos?

What is your best part trick?

East Mids in not very sunny Derby...

Fave colour - various shades of blue

Yes - large tattoo of the sun on my back. Was my 30th birfday present to me from me! I'd had a picture of what I wanted in my wallet since I was 18.

Party trick - I can fit my fist in my mouth....god knows when I found that out?!