Howdy pardners, grab your corset and mosey on down to the BESHt Little Whorehouse for all Wannabe Differs (30's)

[LadyGoneGaga]

Why howdy pardners, tighten your corsets, put a feather in your hair, pull on your boots and garter (*nipple tassles optional but welcome) and mosey on down to the BESHt little whorehouse in all of Diffas. Where the finest 30?s TTCers will fulfil your every need. There?s firewater -?Hendricks-- on tap and we?ll WOOFL you until you can?t WOOFL no more. Yeehaaw.

Menu
Straight up ? the best rootin?, tootin? baby making sechs in 7 counties
Cougar style ? like Doggy but with claws, acceptable for updiffage
Rodeo ? to be followed by a quick dismount to avoid leakage
Sherrif style ? with spurs on
Backdoor ? Recreational but not recommended

Specials
Dildocam ? Half price this month only
Needlework/Foot massage ? for those who like it a little bit woo
Zinc shooters ? to keep the posse on the straight and narrow
Positive thinking ? by the glass
Eggwhite omelettes ? to keep your energy levels up
Gentlemen are kindly reminded to leave all prophylactics by the door and to kindly leave the cowboy juice in the receptacles provided as directed.

I DO NOT HAVE SYMPTOMS. I am just a bit over emotional and PMTish. Goddit?

I have not tested, and I won't test. I am so over testing.

Katkin sounds like we is OMGCYCLETWINZ!!111!! Would you like to join the sisterhood of defeating the menkul next month? Hmm?

Ha ha Starry, ain't no danger of me being mistaken for one of THOSE women. My kitchen floor is disgusting and I'm fairly sure the other day I went to work without cleaning my teeth .

Owly I will post link to pattern site when I'm on the pooter...it's a slight pain having to tape together sheets of paper before cutting the pieces but it's so nice to get your hands on a dress pattern on a whim without having to order one. I am a slave to impulse!

I POAS yesterday. Babyfail for me too. Had sort of had some hopeful signs last week but I think the driod wins again.

or even droid....

next dressmaking question,HB do you need an overlocker to work with the jersey or can you use an ordinary sewing machine?

ah shiny thats no good, :( no ACTUAL droid yet tho?

Cycletwinz!! yay! Yeah, well Tuesday would be 28 days. Since the m/c I've not had one cycle the same length, but had pos opk last week on Tuesday so looking kinda normal.

I will try to be better at beating the Menkul next month! It does not change the outcome after all but it did give me an excuse to crack open the bevvies a couple of days early. I thought I had the hurty norks but turned out to be chest pain brought on by bad cough. Oh well.

My resolution for next month is to not purchase any new ov sticks. That means I only have four, and will use them on the correct days as per instructions on the packaging. Once per day.

Beating the menkul will be made much easier due to lack of pennies :)

No ACTUAL droid yet. Due Tues or Wed. I WILL NOT POAS AGAIN.

I've found that refusing to give in to the utter shite that is the menkul has made me feel considerably more in control - since m/c I've sort of felt that my body has been totally outside my control (bit like you, cycles all out of whack etc, well, and the m/c itself being your body giving you a slap in the face!!). However, I can control how I choose to feel about things, and it has really helped me. I feel fine about droid arriving when it does, although I'm sure if it is late it will be a different story...

shiney it's really rubbish having to just wait for the droid to turn up. When I know it's all over I just want to get on with the next month.

salts you are my anti-menkul guru. I have made this small idol of you and shall polish it daily

Shinyshinysun I know exactly what you mean as I was doing that on Friday. Do not POAS. That way madness lies. Calmness, my fellow BESHlets. Droidal zen. Here, have this temple built of peesticks. It's a bit small to meditate inside but you could probably stick your head in there if you wanted to.

I like your approach Salty & Kat you're right, I just think comethefuck on droid. Oh well, at least I can have another glass of wine!

Giblets I'm sat in the yoga pose in front of the peestick temple. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in.....drink more wine.....

Ok: link to digital downloadable dress patterns here. I got a good New Look pattern that I think would have been about £6 plus £2 postage, if I ordered from my usual site, for about $5 - I think that's about £3.50?

In order to view and download the pattern you have to make sure you have the correct software, but there are plenty of download prompts.

I bought this one, and am making the variation on bottom right. You're supposed to use jersey or any 2-way knit but fuckit, I had ten yards of printed viscose crying out to be used (£1 a yard in a Hackney haberdasher ). It is working OK - obviously less give but I genuinely cannot be fucked with zips. So sue me.

Rocket you don't need an overlocker to sew with jersey - you just need to check your machine has a setting for a jersey stitch. This looks like an irregular and erratic zig-zag stitch and the vast majority of machines have them. I have sewn 2 or 3 jersey dresses (I am now 1 1/2 stone too fat for them, hence this current frenzy ) on my machine with no wuzzles.

Salty I have been refusing to menkul, largely by realising that actually I have little, in the greater scheme of things, to mekul about, and regaining that sense of control has been massively helpful. However, I did not have a m/c, sweetheart, so things are far easier on me. I shall be rooting for you, and I shall also call you sweetheart if I feel like it, mmmmmmmkay?

Ps am in awe of Muse's knit-skills. Me + wool = tears before bedtime.

HB that just made me cry. No, it actually did.

I ALSO think that the fucking piss stick makers are having a right old Christmas party at our expense. If you couldn't get early test sticks, we wouldn't buy them.Fuckers.

Oh hell, I did not mean for that (sad). Is just that my stoicism, such as it is, is no more than should be expected from a girl who should HTFU sharpish. You being an absolute brick is another matter entirely. So there.

Oh hell, I did not mean for that (sad). Is just that my stoicism, such as it is, is no more than should be expected from a girl who should HTFU sharpish. You being an absolute brick is another matter entirely. So there.

Phone phail!

That's what me and Mrnotsosunny were saying this morning Salty Mr Clearbloodyblue is sat on his fat arse profiting from the menkul.

My lovely BESHerinas, please step away from the First Responses and other early piss sticks. Let me tell you the tale of one BESH who POAS every day from several days before droid was due, to several afterwards. The early sticks, they said no. The due time sticks, they too said no. Then, a few days after that droid's arrival time, finally the stick it said yes.

If she was as calm and zen as the lovely salty she would have saved a lot of angst and rolled eyes from others.

While it is possible to get an early result, lack of same is not a definite answer. Truly it is not over until the bleeping bastard full on gushes.

And I don't say that to stoke the menkul. I say that so you can tell the menkul to bog off and try to achieve some sort of calm. Not that I ever managed it, but you guys are way cooler than me.

Meanwhile, I am going to be doing lots of pacing and hoping for you all. So you can all say ommmmm, and I'll do the menkulling.

In general I would like to have a quiet mind. I think that would help with a lot of things in life! But as it stands my mind tends to chat way too much so I will be taking up meditation, yoga, deepbreathing carrying on having emotional outbursts & hoping mrnotsosunny copes!

I have to concur; there are a lot of very cynical absolute bastards making money off the back of our panic/insecurity/menkulling/misery/delete as applicable.

I hates them all.

At the end of the day it's all a cocking lottery and we may or we may not win but there is precious little we can really do to improve the odds unless medically advised.

BESHes with pets; I have a question. The cat has sicked all over the kitchen floor. Do I: a; attempt to clear it up and risk adding to the pile of sick myself, b; wait til Mr Shoes gets home and tell him it is there so he clears it up but feel guilty that I already knew it was there or c; pretend I don't know it's there and risk him standing in it before he notices it?