Howdy pardners, grab your corset and mosey on down to the BESHt Little Whorehouse for all Wannabe Differs (30's)

[LadyGoneGaga]

Why howdy pardners, tighten your corsets, put a feather in your hair, pull on your boots and garter (*nipple tassles optional but welcome) and mosey on down to the BESHt little whorehouse in all of Diffas. Where the finest 30?s TTCers will fulfil your every need. There?s firewater -?Hendricks-- on tap and we?ll WOOFL you until you can?t WOOFL no more. Yeehaaw.

Menu
Straight up ? the best rootin?, tootin? baby making sechs in 7 counties
Cougar style ? like Doggy but with claws, acceptable for updiffage
Rodeo ? to be followed by a quick dismount to avoid leakage
Sherrif style ? with spurs on
Backdoor ? Recreational but not recommended

Specials
Dildocam ? Half price this month only
Needlework/Foot massage ? for those who like it a little bit woo
Zinc shooters ? to keep the posse on the straight and narrow
Positive thinking ? by the glass
Eggwhite omelettes ? to keep your energy levels up
Gentlemen are kindly reminded to leave all prophylactics by the door and to kindly leave the cowboy juice in the receptacles provided as directed.

I can only do scarves and blankets salty as I don't understand knitting patterns. While technically I know how to increase/decrease, in reality it all sounds so hard.

The problem with blankets, is they take bloody ages.

increase? decrease? What are you on about...
Knitting patterns are like hard maths homework...

salts n HB i feel you on the in laws, mine are very very sweet but MIL esp can be a bit, um, shall we say, naive? Luckily they only live round the corner so we rarely see them and for short periods at a time. And yes pls to patterns linky, was going to ask you for that when you mentioned it before. I always have the opposite cutting out pattern problem, i always err on the large side then end up looking like I have sewn a circus tent.

muse i never made the biscuits in the end, went for apple and blackberry oaty crumble instead (just about to tuck in) but I have saved it in my phone for another time.

TB has got man flu, so it's snottorama round here at the mo which means I will probably be sick sometime this week. Can't really be doing that, what with workload, scan and funerals next week.

Pliz to share biscuit recipe.

What do we think of Jon Bon Jovi BESHes? Hmm?

You know, i think I would

headseamstress it's a bally good job we do all love you...otherwise 'I just finished working on my book so I ran up a couple of dresses' would sound dangerously like one of those disgustingly together people one reads about in glossy magazines who've just set up a little business designing boats on the side from their management consultancy and interior design work, all whilst wearing only white and cream and never getting dirty, and cooking dinner for twelve 'close friends' every weekend, just because they 'enjoy it', and always mop their floor every night [henvy] and I we would all be consumed with bitter envy and have to sit and eat lots of cake to make is feel better. But luckily we doth love you so it's ok. As long as you make us each a dress.

Can I just say how turned on moved I am that complete strangers would have the kindness to comment on my juices. Its all part and parcel of the wonder of BESH. Thank you.

I remember am interested to hear about your one sided pain scorps, the last 3 times I have been diffulated, including the successful time, I have had muchos pain in same area, which twice led me to get early scans (coupled with previous ectopic, which obviously helps the menkal) and nothing showed up. I think I must just have super sensitive left side, which would fit with being left handed [at own logic] and ovulation bleeding would make sense, but this is deeply annoying as we didn't do it since wed, due to late night holiday return, and FIL downstairs, so chances are v low. (though not low enough to prevent a good 2woofl)

Is it wrong that I know exactly where you would have cried in Kindergarten Cop salinesolution?

Bah, slow typing + trick or treaters mean I miss the cookies.

John Bon Jovi- def would've in Ally Mcbeal.

I cried at the end, where all the kids hug him, and the nice lady teacher comes in...

Seriously, I don;t know what is up with me, PMT isn't normally this bad, I just welled up watching the start of bloody Xfactor.

Normally, I hate the start of x factor.

Why? Is he round at yours?

salty, what day are you on?

he was on x factor. Ally McBeal??? was he on that?

droid due on Tuesday.

salts noooooo his hair is too ponced around with. Tis Wrong I tell you. next you'll be lusting after Bryan Adams, it's a slippery slope.

Moley if it's any consolation my sewing skills are only matched by my swearing at sewingfail skillz. I suspect Headgirl makes things that actually fit. Oh, that would be so lovely.

He was a man of menial job, plummer of something? And she wasn't sure if she should go out with him because she was so together and brilliant lawyer type and he was Poor!

did you also say you have hurty boobs? Is this one of those stealth reveals I read about on AIBU?

Ok seeing as we are not encouraging the menkul I will fail to mention that random crying jags were one of my first symptoms.

re Jon Bon, not sure I would with that bouffy hair but in Ally McBeal, oh yes. But i think I would JK more, anyone with snake hips like that surely must have the moves dans le sac?

I am all about the enthusiasm when it comes to sewing, with none of the skill. Like in many areas of my life I have things that I will make do one day, but only channel it when baby nieces are due. I also can't really follow patterns- I made BBB some boxer shorts for Valentine's day last year, and he valiently wore them, despite it clearly being a little to tight to mention.

Curses, he wants lap top, probably for 'work stuff' will be back later. Smooches bitches

Bryan Adams is on my list of people I'm slightly scared of. So no danger there.

iwillnotindilgethemenkuliwillnotindulgethemekuliwillnot...well, you get the idea....

JK is a twat though.

I will nobly WOOFL for you.

JK Rowling?

Yeah I'm not talking about marrying him or anything. Or even talking to him that much.

Hmm, eyes salty what SORT of hurty? Normal predroid tenderness all over or more sore round the nip area? I am just asking so that I can eliminate the menkul over this obviously.

Agreed. Silly hat. although as I'm typing Rhianna also some large flower arrangement on her head.....

JK Jamiroquai (sp?) aka 'the twat in the hat'

Nipples are sore. But also they're kind of bloated and sore all over like normal predroidal.

Bon Jovi? - definitely! even with all the hair.

Amused by all the sewing talk tonight. My skills extend to putting buttons back on. Wondaweb does hems.

babyfail over here again this month by the looks of it - will give it one more test if the droid doesn't come by Tuesday but no symptoms at all, despite poking! Am remembering positive BESH motto which we were reminded of at weekend, and encouraging BESH statistical history. Having spent half the weekend around babies and kids has not helped lift my mood though!

salty sounds like you have some symptoms going on there. Have you been stronger than me and not given in to the lure of the stick?

sshhhh kat we are determinedly NOT WOOFLing over here. Although we are going to be keeping a very close eye on meoldsalts

Sorry to hear you think its all over for this cycle. You due Tuesday as well then?

BBB's link is down but we have resolved to go and watch the Wire in bed- I will be taking thoughts of salty hurty norks, (plus scorpette's generous ones, gaga's twirling ones, garamond's small but perfectly pert ones, and any others mentioned. Here's hoping Stringer Bell gets naked so's I actually concentrate on t'telly)

Night