The fred where the BESH practise DIY. Scan the chart below. Customers are kindly requested to keep readers informed of relevant colour and consistency.

[Ariesgirl]

BESHityourself proudly presents...

The BESHtone colour matching system, for all your interior colourways

000 Clearest eggwhite
001 Watery white
002 All that jizz?
003 Cottage cheese
004 Cunt-ry cream
005 Hopeful Yellow
006 Hint of a Tint
007 Excessive Cigaring
008 Stretchy but streaky
009 Palest Pink
010 Implantation Imaginings?
011 Itty Bitty Brown
012 Brahn String
013 Ovaltine Ochre
014 Sludge Brown
015 Clotty Red
016 Purest Scarlet
017 Possibly Green*
018 Barely Black*
019 Sump Oil Surprise*
020 Nothing. Nadda. Where the fuck IS it?

*Available at specialist retailers

Well Cass had tantalised with her thread and then buggered off. Someone had to do it.

May I draw your attention to this thread, which is a thread after our own hearts. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1069905-to-think-people-should-just-do-a-test?pg=2

And also this, stolen from said thread, who needs to POAS? Am I Pregnant?

Sqqquuuueeeeeeee - TakeThat! The Circus concert was better than my wedding day.

Just remembered I went to that concert in June last year - have been TTC ever since :(.

I used to hate TT and take the mick out of my friend who was well into them. But have had to eat my words as thought Circus looked brilliant and would have given my back teeth to have been there (she was) Swore I would go with her the next time, hope I am not too diffed :(

Also about Robbie, little twat.

truff I am the same, I am always gob smacked to find out some people think I am quite chilled out. My brain is going 20 to the dozen all the time and I secretly menkul about EVERYTHING. Just seem to be able to hide it well from most people (TB knows the truth and doesn't seem to care he is married to a crazy woman luckily)

boo once made a legendary courgette cake, but we don't talk about it

Bah Lyra rubbish! Have some of this elaborate water cooled bong I've rigged up by borrowing extensively from aisle 6: Plumbing, and aisle 12: Drainage & Guttering. Sweeeeeeeeet....

Oh and Robbie Williams is a repulsive Neanderthal Ape.

Here, here Owlie. At that point in my life I was sporting paraboots and stripy tights and pillarbox red hair, out-drinking tramps and being sick on my shoes. Then i found out about drugs and started dressing more skimpily. TT never came into it.

I met Robbie Williams once. Backstage at a Stone Roses gig. The Gallagher brothers were also there.

Robbie had just left TT and was in a bit of a daze.

I always fancied Howard. I was mos def into steel toe cap boots, dungarees and tie die at this point in my life and he fitted that perfectly

Hello by the way Will now read what you've all been up to....

ps Shameless name dropping I know but I don't have many so I don't care. My other claim to fame is meeting Orville the duck when I was 5...see told you I don't have many.

Oh me too, I was FAR too superior alternative to care about them at the time. Impressed with you drinking tramps tho GeeGee I never went that far. Pint of snake bite and black was more my thing [hwink]

One of my first records was Keith Harris and Orville singing 'I wish I could fly' [hblush]

I just drank the tramps' booze of choice; there's nothing classy about a half litre bottle of white lightning.

LadyG hoorah for the pillarbox red hair!

Also; cinco ! Yay :) Have you brought experimental cakes, hmm?

One of my first records was Captain Beaky and his band...remember them?! No, just me then [hblush]

I haz been far too busy designing* my website to ackersly bake which is a travesty. I will be sorting this out tomorrow when I make a batch of mini Christmas cakes ready for next market. I will be dosing (them and possibly me) with brandy. So can you wait til tomorrow BESHtahs?

• When I say designing I mean scribbling doodles on piece of paper with coloured pencils. I am so old skool [hblush]

Am v impressed with the positivity and zen like sindyssnatch. Wish I was able to get in that mind set. I think my coping mechanism is quite simple....drink....which I know isn't the answer but I'm enjoying some semblance of freedom before IVF bootcamp.

[hangry] at droids making most unwelcome appreances, spesh birthdays :(

We're about due a BFP on this thread aren't we? C'mon BESHies. Oh dear was about to get all cheerleady on you then, not a pretty picture...

I met Bob Carolgees and Spit the Dog when I was 5 {hgrin]. And one of the Roley Poleys when house hunting with my ma and pa.

Oh oh oh

cinco I also heart Howard. Right from when TT first came along, still do now

Mind you, I'm not so fussy anymore, so reckon I'd do them all . Except Mark. He's minging.

eeew, you'd do Gary [henvy]

I luffs the mini-christmas cakes despite my hating of christmas.

We are indeed due a bfp; we can't have a thread finish without one, that's just not on.

Also; Gary, definitely

Ah, don't be mean, I reckon Gary would be sweet .

Jason would be energetic, Howard a bit daft so would do anything you wanted & Robbie would be pure dirty monkey sex. Mark is just, well, bleugh. Bit too little & weasel like for me.

Not that I've over-thought this at all

I can't believe how much I've said the word 'Christmas' in the past few days. It's very wrong as I wouldn't normally allow anyone in my vicinity to say it until at least after Nov 5th. So grovelling apologies...

Still [henvy]

What are we doing next then? Halloween or Saloon Prostitutes? Or a combo thereof? And who is in place to offer a BFP before fred-end? Not me I've not laid one yet.

Oh, and double [henvy] at Milk bottle Barlow shagging. Or Robbie and his thin lips.

But what do I know. My first ever crush on a boy was Morten Harket from Aha. I was 8.

June 09 Take That gig at Hampden Park was my first pill free day too, Lyra

OMG Morten Harket. Now we're talking.

I think realistically tis unlikely that this fred will host any bfps as we are likely to end it in the next coupla days and nobody has any good symptoms.

I have just ordered some ebay cheapies. After I said I wouldn't have any in the house. At least they won't turn up til after droid arrives, and also they were only pence, pence I tell you.

Someone beat me with a haddock please.