The fred where the BESH practise DIY. Scan the chart below. Customers are kindly requested to keep readers informed of relevant colour and consistency.

[Ariesgirl]

BESHityourself proudly presents...

The BESHtone colour matching system, for all your interior colourways

000 Clearest eggwhite
001 Watery white
002 All that jizz?
003 Cottage cheese
004 Cunt-ry cream
005 Hopeful Yellow
006 Hint of a Tint
007 Excessive Cigaring
008 Stretchy but streaky
009 Palest Pink
010 Implantation Imaginings?
011 Itty Bitty Brown
012 Brahn String
013 Ovaltine Ochre
014 Sludge Brown
015 Clotty Red
016 Purest Scarlet
017 Possibly Green*
018 Barely Black*
019 Sump Oil Surprise*
020 Nothing. Nadda. Where the fuck IS it?

*Available at specialist retailers

Well Cass had tantalised with her thread and then buggered off. Someone had to do it.

Oh and we have the first viewing on our house tomorrow Exciting stuff but why do these things always happen when inconvenient, the kitchen will be in utter chaos as I prepare for a market on Saturday . At least the house will smell of baking which has to be along the lines of putting coffee on and having fresh flowers a la house selling advice.

Unfortunately OccyOccyOccy I wasn't charting during the times of the 100 day cycle so have no idea if I did OV at any point. I'm definitely not doing anything before Sunday, as RadioGaGa has decreed. I'm a bit wussy about the thought of a BFN though as last cycle droid arrived a week early so I didn't even have time to think about it before it was upon me.

I have some boots ones that I got on BOGOF so can afford to waste try one on Sunday mebs.

BTW TartyPants home made baked goods sound lush, you are my Nigella

I have reflexology tomorrow, can't wait. It makes me feel all floaty afterwards and really chilled for a good 24 hours. As it's the weekend soon I'm hoping the chillednedd lasts until Monday [hgrin]

Wow, I never dreamed my fish comment would provoke so much earnest discussion . Good on y'all. Actually there is one fish you can take from the sea with nary a thought for the consequences, because the consequences are good. I'm talking about Humboldt squid, the horrible fuckers. Eat them, eat them! Cinco I agree entirely with everything you wrote. Most of the world's fish are endangered and polluted - we eat fish when we're given some they have caught by friends. Pollack mostly . To whoever it was who was worrying about cod and chips in the chippy - don't worry, it's almost certainly not cod anyway. It will be an indiscriminate "white fish". again probably pollack.

I have taken a vow - I will never yell at a BESH to POAS nor kick her in the kidneys. Well maybe the kidney bit, but only if she deserves it.

Great news on house viewing ArmitageShanks and you're right, baking smell would definitely make me want to buy it

Ooh Truffers, I have the chiropractors tomorrow. I'm bricking it though. Reflexology sounds lush - I have looked into it and may try that too.

I can't keep up with the BESH pace! Love that everyone discusses FOOD it's my fave subject. Didn't know anything about the fish debate though.... Thusband bought some hallibut at the weekend - cost £12!! Ridiculous. Was v nice though.

Cinco - v impressed with your baking skills. I made a cake. Once.

My temp has been v low for 3 days now - any ideas why (apart from the fact it's fecking freeeezing)[hhmm]

That's pretty good for a halibut Sunshine. They're very endangered expensive.

Tonight I'm going to make a veggie curry with chickpeas. Nom nom.

Love a good chick pea curry Aries. Mostly I eat veggie. Tonight Matthew I am going to Pizza Express.We get fish off of a man that comes to the door on a Friday. Lots of Ling & Coley.

Ling. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

God I just realised how priggish I sounded by my halibut comment followed by the chick pea one. Sorry. I am a prick.

My sister is a bit of a right on in your face vegan so I didn't even flinch

Cinco needles woman told me the same. Think is to do with the Omegas but she said as I don't eat oily fish I should eat avocadoes, nuts, seeds, flax, nut oils, avocado oils and could take a Omega supplement. So much happier on that regimen than forcing down fish. Although have eaten the odd smoked salmon sandwich as can stomach it smoked.

Good call on the squid Rie. I don't mind squid if cooked in the oriental style with lots of chilli and ginger and such. How d'you know it's a humbert though and not a luella?

Not a prick aries is good to be aware of these things. Think you have to choose your battles is all, otherwise we'd all be eating nothing but carrots and parsnips (and pro have scurvy) and be wearing homespun. I defo don't buy asparagus unless its english, didn't know about he peruvian wells but i am concerned about the air miles. Plus tend not to by stuff from the 'underdeveloped' world as I think their land mass should be used to provide food for their population rather than feed us. But its a mine field really and you can only do so much. (try cutting out palm oil, NIGHTMARE its in bloody everything)

Anyhoo, rant over. cinco EXCITING re first viewing, bribe them with cake, that should work wonders.

truffs i reckon wait til monday (DPO14) but what do i know. [hwink]

re squid, I'd rather eat rubber bands.

evening all.

Anyone like to hear my newly learned version of 'Perfect Day'? Hmm? Yup, tis singing lesson thursday again....

Rie I am joining you in vowing not to yell POAS ever again. In fact I am thinking of banning the little blighters completely. They don't, contrary to popular opinion, actually make you any more likely to be diffed. TRUFAX.

Ah, luvverly Cinco forgot to say good luck with the viewing. I have still failed to ring up any builders as am rubbish.

Am rolling around the sofa stuffed having sent MrG out for chinese as could not be arsed to cook anything at all.

Sing it, sing it Salty. Are you doing all the different bits in comedy different voices a la BBC?

mmmm..chinese.....

oooh....I think we should all do a bit each a la the BBC.

We could raise money for buying a baby off of ebay charity.

Bagsy the Heather Small bit.

Nigella's smug face is irritating me today and I normally like her. Well her books anyway...

I am trying very hard to like her, after everyone here told me off for being horrid about her.

I have frequent rants re Nigella. She is Mrs Nigella Smug, of Pompous Lane, Complacenceville. Although Sophie Dahl replaced her for a bit til she got axed. At least Nigella can actually cook. pah

Oh I am having the most tremendous vision of the BESHes recording Perfect Day, all taking turns. We could raise money for barren research.

I think the squid problem is a general one because they are now lacking predation but particularly Humboldt ones because of the hammerhead shark crash. Someone fell off a fishing boat in the Sea of Cortez and the bastards drained him of blood with their horrid pointy sharp beaks. Unfortunately they are unavailable here as they live off the west coast of S America. Don't worry about eating Luella. She's a one off. The seed thing is great - you can get Omega 3 from seeds and flaxoil etc. In fact there was the most gorge recipe for seedy bar things on River Cottage Breakfast just now here. Hark at me talking about cookery and baking as though I know what I'm on about.
My curry is simmering and I am watching Hugh Fearnley Whatsitt cooking pancakes for Y6s. Who was it who said they fancied him? Are you mental?

I took so long to compose that I missed the Nigella rant. I agree. No one smiles that much Well obviously not me anyway.

Oooh salt and pepper squid please.

Also we can eat the large crayfish invaders that are killing off out native tiny crayfish (I think it's crayfish I mean, they live in rivers).

I have emptied the house of piss-sticks, although this has been achieved by pissing on them all pointlessly. I feel purged and cleansed and fully intend not to buy any more unless I know I am diffed (and last time I knew I was diffed long before I POAS).

Wouldn't want to live in Nigella's house; she's had her fingers (and possibly face) in every container in the fridge - deeply unhygenic.

Singing lessons sound ace, salts , I haven't done any singing in ages, I should sort that out.

After last night's BlackBeanSauceFail, I have made cottage pie which was a plate-licker (hoorah!). Does this entitle me to one of cinco 's croissants?

Well done for getting rid of the piss sticks ShoeTree.

Please to have some curry RieRieRieThe BoatGentlyDownTheStream. I have fishfinger sandwiches for dinner. It is Thursday, after all.

Evening haglettes.

Apologies for lack of name checking, I have a pea brain and can't remember everything that's happened!!!!

Cincs great news on the house viewing! Even better news on the croissant making front - can I come and get one pliz?! They sound delish

LGG - Would love to see you over here for a coffee/chat. When scropy stops chundering we'll try and get another date set.

Owlie glad you got a platelicker tonight

Aries I cannot sing to save my life, but if you think it will go to a good cause such as barren research I am willing to give it a damn good go. Would love to have some of your curry too pliz if you have some spare?

Right, am off to drink beer and watch The Inbetweeners with Mr O before he complains about being a MN widow. I bid you all goodnight. x

Yes, yes, eat the bastards! And spider crabs and Chinese mitten crabs which are displacing lobsters.

Well done on the cottage pie Plop. I adore a good cottage pie. Reminds me of when I was little and feeding leftover lamb into the mincer on Mondays and watching it come out in little worms.

When HB has a singing fest at her house, we can sing Perfect Day. Get practising BESHes. I baggsy the guy who says "Someone good. Yeah." because for some reason it cracks me up. Oh and the Courtney Pine sax solo.