The fred where the BESH practise DIY. Scan the chart below. Customers are kindly requested to keep readers informed of relevant colour and consistency.

[Ariesgirl]

BESHityourself proudly presents...

The BESHtone colour matching system, for all your interior colourways

000 Clearest eggwhite
001 Watery white
002 All that jizz?
003 Cottage cheese
004 Cunt-ry cream
005 Hopeful Yellow
006 Hint of a Tint
007 Excessive Cigaring
008 Stretchy but streaky
009 Palest Pink
010 Implantation Imaginings?
011 Itty Bitty Brown
012 Brahn String
013 Ovaltine Ochre
014 Sludge Brown
015 Clotty Red
016 Purest Scarlet
017 Possibly Green*
018 Barely Black*
019 Sump Oil Surprise*
020 Nothing. Nadda. Where the fuck IS it?

*Available at specialist retailers

Well Cass had tantalised with her thread and then buggered off. Someone had to do it.

Ah! I knew there was a reason we were scrutinizing her buzzwams.

POAS! POAS!

Oh Rieeeeee! I got something for you!

Hooters obviously with wetsuit on. I laughed at your evil bean sauce. Sorry. I hate rubbish dinners they are gutting.

Naw, do not apologise, it was utter shite. I know I've made a rubbish tea when Mr Shoes fails to lick his plate. Last night was not a plate-licker.

I wish I was joking but I'm not.

Cripes! I only went out for an evening and missed a stewfest! [hsad]

Happy forthcoming paper anniversary Boo, are you expecting paper offerings? Here, let me direct to Graham and Browne aisle for gift ideas....

Love halloween parties scorps and lyra, can I be a pumpkin please to conceal my bloated body?

Sorry too about your dinner owlie have been known to cry when dinner goes bad.

What news of peeing on sticks/ in ramekins/ pot noodle pots ala ooh aaah lady gone gaga? Not looking at anyone in particular arian elle, but where how are your kidneys?

Barbie - Hugh F-W? Yuck

Why are you all excited about my baps?
a) They are very small
b) Did you not hear my announcement of droidage yesterday? Sometimes it happens like that - there will be a bit of blood and then nada for a couple of days and then the bitch with appear with a vengeance.

Let's talk about something else. More food discussions pliz. MrA made me tea yesterday - a miracle in itself, but then I asked what's this and he said he'd seen it on Jamie Oliver. I nearly fainted. He also bought me flowers. Sometimes he's not an entirely useless waste of space I must say

Good lord! What did he make? Am super impressed with the flowers as well as cheffing. Obviously the meltdown was a Good Thing.

Bugger @ droid btw. Who can we turn on next?

Ah thats lovely of Mr A. Gawd bless him.

I still feel full of pizza. And there is a slice of peperoni and onion waiting for me at home (if TB doesn't get his mitts on it first)

shoesn bitey I have been known to storm off if dinner is not going as planned. And cry. And sulk. Good job it doesn't happen very often as TB is not really capable of rescuing any screw ups. Normally ends in a take away.

Doing tuna tonight, going to poach it then dress it in capers and lemon juice. Om nom nom.

For the love of God, don't eat Tuna . It's nearly as bad as pepperoni or carrying cakes. It's FULL of mercury and will render you infertile fo sho.

SOunds yummy lambsleaf. I am making slow roast lamb shanks with winter veggies and pearly barley after inspiring tesco recipe card. Love working at home, do lots of work honest but can also make complicated tea.

Sorry aries am so deeply into the case of the vanishing droid and gussetting examining for myself that I am attempting to egg you on cos if two of us have these symtpoms it must = diffment. Am being selfish and thoughtless [halloween themed guilty emoticon]

I feel rather queasy again today but think MacDonalds last night at eleven clock (had been to a concert)is the root cause of it.

You can always give me your delicious tuna

Here; have this tupperware container of evil crap bean leftovers in exchange.

rocket Cold pizza is the best thing evah. Make sure you get to it before TB!

I'm hungry. Is it nearly lunchtime?

I was exaggerating about the tuna by the way

But don't eat it LOADS. I'm certainly not a cheese-shunning, teetotal cake carrier, but I know a bit about fish.

I know rierie Only once a week at very most. TBH used to eat it loads as love the stuff but have cut down because of over fishing and over pricedness. (future generations will not have to worry about mercury etc as there will be no fish left to eat, see we are doing them a favour )

Ah Owl (you get me?) I defo wont be getting in before him so I am just going hope he realises the wrath that will descend upon him if he eats the sprouts last piece of pizza (I pulled my first 'the baybee wants....' last night [hgrin])

Aries The statement "I'm certainly not a cheese-shunning, teetotal cake carrier, but I know a bit about fish." makes you sound like a lady who loves ladies. MrA is clearly having an affair with your cat.

I saw a documentary last year about tuna-fishing which was so unbelievably barbaric it put me right off. Made foie gras seem like organic spinach. :(

As someone who has loathed and reviled fish since childhood I can skip about feeling merry and smug that I'm not contributing to the raping of the seas/eco crisis/dolphin/tuna slaughter. Everyone can finally STFU about me HAVING to eat frigging oily fish now - bleurgh.

[hhmm]

Not too keen on the fishyness either Gaga. Although I will be having fish for tea tonight (obtuse).

Aries I am in a state of permanent excitement with regards to your breasts no matter how many DPO/CD/WTF you are. I also love Mr Rie for cooking and flower loveliness.

I'm having swordfish for dinner tonight - I know that is BANNED for PESHes, even boozy cake-carriers, but I'm sure Rie will tell me if it is also bad for pillaging the ocean?

I've stopped eating Peruvian asparagus if that helps.

Sorry Rie, I was focusing on teh 010 for you. I'm impressed with MrA's cooking efforts - was it edible?!

I do not eat tuna often but since being diffed I want to eat it all the time.

Swordfish are ace. Especially their pointy noses.

Pretty much everything except jellyfish is bad for pillaging the ocean now, isn't it?

ArielAutomatic I am very impressed with Mr A's flower bearing chef act. TGB is a great cook, but has not donned his apron for a few weeks. I may have to persuade him. I am making spag bol tonight, the Jamie Oliver oven baked version, which is tres nice.

I am a bit of a fishaholic I must admit and had read that the equivalent of 3 tins of Tuna per week was an acceptable amount when diffed. I'm a little that this may not be the case. Actually I don't eat quite that much but have been known to have tuna pasta, tuna sandwich and tuna stir fry in one week.

I'm not very discriminating when it comes to food, although we try to buy our bread, fruit & veg locally when we can. I even eat cod from the chip shop sometimes, which I know is frowned upon. Luckily we don't have takeaway chips that often

Even though I have No Symptoms (TM) I am thinking about when I might legitimately be able to POAFS. I am now 10 DPO on CD 26 and with an 'average' cycle length of 33 days. As my longest cycle of the last 12 monoths was over 100 days who knows when testing might be an option? I might wait for next Saturday, when I'll be at CD 35.

It's very quiet in here today, where is everyone? Not working?

I was relying on you all to distract me from the work I'm supposed to be doing, but instead have been dealing with energy companies and BT. Such excitement.

Rie I'm glad MrA was so lovely, sometimes we need them to be. Droid however is not lovely, sorry :(

Truff as you are charting and know when you ovved you could feasibly test on Sunday without being an early testing mentalist, non? Esp if you have some internet cheapies kicking about?

Wow, it's quiet in here today. I haz been busy making croissants and strawberry gateaux. Have just eaten said croissant, yum.

:( Rie at the droideth approaching.

I've been told by Needles lady that I should be eating more fish to help conception. I'm not a massive fish fan and am very conscious that we have most certainly just about taken all the fish from the seas and ruined them forever :( So it's sustainable locally sourced (as in UK, ain't many fish round these parts!) for us and that is not the cheapest food to eat..therefore a treat rather than everyday for us. Same goes for meat really. Actually stop me now as I may be trying to clamber onto my very high horse

BTW Truffles POAFS already

Also the more I ackershly see of you BESHes, like in the flesh proper, the more I fink you're all bloody gorgeous