More ongoing and continuing conceptions and follicling ahead of Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings

[Beattiebow]

I've started a new thread!

LAptop playing up and keep losing mega posts
so in a nut shell
ILGH congrat and what a lovely name
GUM happy birthday, that's quite a list of symptoms, fingers crossed for you
Jollster EWWWWW to bowellly stuff
40some how nice that your daughters friend feels that she can come to you.

hello to everyone else

Spotty

ILGH Congrats on your little girl. Sorry you had to have a c section but i'm sure there were good reasons. Take care. XXXXXXXXXX

ILGH mahooooosive congratulations - your pg has seemed to fly by (to me!). Genevieve was my mum's name - I love it. (And my bro is Gregory - not House though!).

Congratulations ILGH. I'm so happy for you.I'll bet you are over the moon. Sorry about the C-section.When you feel up to it, I'd like to hear details.

So sad to hear Hairy's news. How devastating.

I had a lovely birthday, thanks. My DH bought a beautiful hand crafted jarrah jewelry box. Very impressed.

I met some friends for a drink and had to glasses of champas. I couldn't refuse.And without a bfp, why would I?

I had nausea on and off all day, but it could be anything, couldn't it? But also experiencing insomnia, but feeling very tired.

Time will tell.

ILGH lovely lovely news, welcome to the world little genevieve, beautiful name. :)When you're ready to share your story we'd love to hear it, very therapautic writing it down. I agree with jolls your pg seems to have flown by.

gum glad you enjoyed a glass of fizzy, symptoms sound good to me. Fingers crossed for you. :)

Hi everyone else enjoy the lovely weather we're having.

Hello! Happy belated birthday wisahes Gum - I am very hopeful for a bfp for you - symptoms very encouraging
ILGH mnany congrats . I also had an energency section after three vaginal births and I have to say it took me lots of time and several debriefings to get things straight in my head. I know people say that it's not the mode of delivery but the actual baby that's important, which is of course true, but it can be quite a shock after your past experineces/expectations.
Hairy that's very sad, I'm so sorry . Thinking of you x
Well I have it in my head that things aren't looking great with this pregnancy The mild nausea I had last week has totally disappeared, boobs not as sore, plus not as tired etc..I'd think nothing of it, but was the same with my mmc. Hyperemesis for me is the norm, and as my mw said after the mmc, she always hears warning bells when a hg sufferer has NO sickness in a subsequent pregnancy. I think I'll pay for a private scan at 8 weeks anyway...do0es anyone know if you can then use the scan report as a referral for the nhs unit if appropriate? I know I am a harbinger of doom, but my gut feeling is that things aren't right

diege feeling for you - know how hideous all that self doubt is. Won't patronise you with the "am sure all ok" stuff.... but will only say all pregnancies are different I guess, and nowt to be gained by worrying ..... yeah right easier said than done... BIG squeeze for you xx

FX DIEGE hope for good news for you XXX

Good and bad day here.Went to the gym,counselling and seen 2 friends from work for a cuppa.My friends had been asked to tell me that another colleague [whos a very good friend of mine] is 14 weeks pg.Jess was going to tell me when Georgie was here, shes not told anyone yet.I m devastated now.I m mad that if Georgie was here i wouldn t be having to deal with all this crap, everything would be totally different.Also, why do other people get to not say anything for so long the last time and the next[if theres 1] i have to say as soon as i know as have to trudge to epu twice weekly.Also shes got 1 child i ve not got any , and are/was resigned to only 1 child.How come something that is "natural" is so hard for me getting pg,staying pg and giving birth.Millions of women get pg at the drop of a hat where as i seem to be going round in relvolving crap circles and getting nowhere.

2 of my friendships are suffering now .when i return to work , if i m not pg, i won t be able to deal with seeing Jess heavily pg.I also can t see my friend Fiona, shes about 34 weeks pg now.

Sorry for rambling.

Hope everyones well?

Heres hoping Gumblossom XX

You ramble away as much as you like Louise. I think you've got every right in the world be be angry with life and the rollarcoaster it has dealt you. You friends I'm sure will be happy to give the friendship some space for a while until you feel up to seeing them pegnant/hearing about the pregnancies etc. And in the meantime we're all here for you of course xx
Many thanks Jollster. I haven't told anyone in rl about this pregnancy (it seems odd even writing it down) so helps to get it all out on here . I'm worried about what to do/should be doing in a practical sense more than anything. Am thinking I should check that the pregnancy is a go-er anyway before booking in with mw (from hell), so could possibly get a gp referral to epu (though doubtful that 'no symptoms' would get me one) or go private route. Could also see mw I suppose and book-in, but seems a bit premature. Added 'complication' is that if I did mc I may need anti-d as rhesus neg, but have read varying things about needing it before 12 weeks. As you can tell, my head is a bit all over the place at the moment. Just woke in the early hrs with a strong sense of things not being right
I know this is a nothing in the greater scheme of what lots of you have been through, so apologies , but is reminding me so much of the weeks leading up to mmc

(wanders in and slaps Diege hard for being so negative)
Stop being so bloody negative. Wasn't it only a week ago you'd convinced yourself you wouldn't get a BFP?

Sorry Diege I don't know what came over me. I know it is horrific, but all this sympton spotting - are you slightly less tired, less sick etc will send you deranged. You are 21 days post ov, and you're not bleeding, are you? So that's a bloody good sign. All pregnancies are different - now shove over on that bench and I'll keep you company. Lets play at being optimistic till it all goes terribly wrong

Louise While I'm sticking my oar in, yeah, you're right it is totally shit and unfair. If it helps, I try not to think stuff like - it's ruined my friendship with X or I can never see Y again. It's more like, some days I can cope with them - other days I would find it really hard. Be gentle with yourself. Also if you find being with pg friends or small babies hard, you can try it in sitautions that are easy for you to leave from. So for example, I might turn now an invite for lunch in a week;s time - but I might well be up to popping in someone's house on spec for a quick coffee. If they are close friends, they should understand and accommodate you - in time you can perhaps meet without their DCs.

Take care - and don't feel over-whelmed - you've just found out about an established pg - and it must feel like the rest of the world is normal and having an easy time. You won't feel as low as you do today forever. I promise.

Thanks Diege and Tankgiirl XX

Thanks Tank I might as well relax a bit for now at least. If I had a plan of action I would feel better though

(Shares her smarties with Diege )

Nigel Slater says, "no one can resist a smartie".

Here's the plan - one day at a time, no beer, more smarties. When you get to week 8, if you're still really worried you can have a private scan, and we'll pay for it on the Snug Credit Card

diege I'm sorry you are going through this worry, I know with my mmc's I knew in my heart although nothing to tell others.

Where are you? You can self refer to some epu's and if you are 6 wks or over you should be able to see a hb, I know thats no guaranteee there will be a hb next week but if it makes you feel better.

Look after yourself.

louise :( hugs. x

Thanks Lia, tank. The EPU here doesn't take self-referrals and it's pretty hard going to get a gp/mw referral (ie, just 'not feeling pregnant wouldn't cut it - I speak from experience!). The nearest private scanning place starts scanning from 8 weeks which I would be fine waiting for (in fact it would take away the uncertainty of having to come back etc..)so I think that might be the way forward.
Feel better for having 'shared' anyway

well you know where we are, however random your thoughts may seem. x

louisesh - we have met before = in Jan 2009!

ILGH - huge congratulations on the birth of your baby, hope that you make a rapid recovery from the c-section and enjoy every minute of your new little bundle.

As for me~I am going to make an appointment next week with GP to get the birth control pills, I think that I have finally come to terms with my dreams having to change and accepting that also financially now, I need to continue working. So next week I will be saying farewell to the ttc threads.

Diege i am with Tank giirl on the 'stop symptom spotting' front BUT i too am a wee bit of a control freak at times like these!

I went to a private scanning place near leeds ( no idea where you are) and they scan from whenever you are willing to pay from so mine was 5 weeks they then directly referred me to harrogate where i go - although they would have referred to any hospital

my news is not good - because of some bizarre twist they suspect possible ectopic which i am 99.9999999% sure it's not and i think they are too but a tiny chance that it could be means i cant take medical management or d and c so just have to sit and wait

grr grrr and treble grrrr
In some weird parallel universe where i pretend life is normal and to all intents and purposes it is ...only i am waiting to m/c

hello all, have been working so hard haven't had time to log on

Just a quick one before I start the school run

diege fingers crossed for you - I know we can't stop you worrying, but I hope everything's ok.

40somemum sorry about your scan - hopefully things will happen naturally for you quickly. I waited in my mmc and the wait was the worst thing really.

gum hippy spotty how are the symptoms?

ILGH congratulations!! Genevieve is a gorgeous name. Hope you have settled back at home well.

Louise I found it difficult enough dealing with pg colleagues/friends after my mmc, so can't imagine how hard it is for you.

GG sorry you've made this decision. Was there medical advice behind it?

as for me, 5dpo and no symptoms!

Arh yes Galwaygirl gosh 2 years on and back to the same place!!! I think, like you i m coming to the decision to stop ttc.You sound brave on your decision XX

DIEGE my EPU accepts referrals if your symptonmatic.Could you not fib a bit???Failing that we had 2 private scans last time £90 each at a company i found on the internet .Were really good [tho, obviously a waste of time/money now].

BEATTIEBOW hi XX

40SOMETHINGMUM Sorry ,take care of yourself.Much love XX

Thanks LIA

Well,another shit day here!!! Seems to be the same day in day out.I ve told my DH i want to go ahead with adoption plans as soon as and not ttc again.Its 3 years since i stopped the pill and we re no further foreward , just a big fat waste of time.3 MCs and a stillborn but no baby!!!! DH wants to ttc again but just so pissed off and bored with it all now as you all know its so physically and emotionally draining to get nowhere.

Have to admit defeat i cant have children..so look at other options.I m so mad with it all and i know its the next stage of the grieving process.We rowed last night , now hes gone to work in a huff.Sod him!!!

Hope some of you are having better days than me!!!!

louise noone but you and DH can know what's the right thing to do, and I wouldn't ever presume to tell you otherwise - all I would humbly venture is that you are still so early in the grieving stage, making BIG decisions may be unwise. You are not even 40 yet.... keep that in mind. Big squeeze for you - what you are feeling and thinking is totally understandable.

GG am really sorry to read your post - I hope you feel ok with the decision.

wave to all - must dash, late as usual x

GG I'm also sad to read your post. You've been on my mind alot since you talked about the quilt and your ten lost babies. I was so hoping that things would go well for you. Are you quite firm about your decision? YOu sound it. If so, I hope you'll find compensations in being able to let all the stress and crap flood out of your life, and hopefully make some room for better stuff xx

40somemum that's really shit, I'm sorry. Will you try again, or is it too soon for you to think about it?

BB too early to worry about symptons yet
(hands BB and Diege some more smarties) Stop un-sympton spotting you two

Louise you are totally allowed to feel despondent, but actually y'know - you have a lot of things going for you. For a start, you are not even 40 yet. Next, you have a proven track record of conceiving naturally with your current partner. Importantly, you have carried Georgie to full term. Finally, you have a loving supportive husband who wants to try again. I know that things have gone so badly wrong before, and I don't blame you for losing faith - but you have been only a whisper from becoming the mother of a healthy baby. Be gentle with yourself and don't make any decisions to quickly. (Oh, and don't argue with your DH - it will only make you feel crap)

Have just read back my post, and I sound really bossy..... all these years as an outlaw must have wiped out my diplomacy reserve....

Hello GG I'm also very sad to hear of your decision - you'll be missed but I can see where you're coming from x
Louise I agree totally with what Tank has said regarding how early things are. Not that yur decision may not be the right one, but to give yourself time before making a decision about stopping ttcing. My sister has just completed the adoption process (little boy has come to live with them 2 weeks ago!) and she did find it very, very stressful x
Not heard fromHippy for a while - hope all is ok besser!
BB fingers crossed for you - did you start taking the agnus after all?
40some what an awful position to be in . Have they given you a time limit to mc in or doesn't it work like that? You must be stressed beyond belief
Well I have done something constructive and made a gps appointment to get a referral to the epu at the local hospital. Our gps is so busy that the next appointment is 25th NOv, but that's fine as I'll be 8 weeks by then. The receptionist was lovely and (I ended up explaining the whole thing )has said that if a mc seems imminent then I should ring up and been seen that day. I do feel better now I have a plan and a teeny bit of control!
Got to make dd2's birthday cake now...ground hog day as was doing the same this time last week for dd3...bleedin valentine's day conceptions

Diege glad you ve got a plan.
I will keep my FX for you XX did assume the adoption process is also very stressful which is the lesser of 2 evils i wonder???

Lovely news about your sister.

Tank you don t sound bossy at all!!!

Thanks Jolls and TAnk for your thoughts XX

Just so mad and angry and yes i know this is a stage i have to go through but i m so pissed off with it all.

Hope you re all having a nice dayXX

Sorry i seem to be dominating this thread, sorry girls XXX