We're All Going To IBESHA: Last minute budget holiday fun for 30s TTC. Pack your string bikini and your oversized shades and get on board.

[Saladbomb]

Last call for flight SWI101 to Shagaluff. Sangria laced with folic acid on tape. Fake tanned Club reps will be dishing out the 2 for 1 cocktails, dressed in nothing but the most miniscule budgie smugglers. The pit will be manned by sleazy but virile Spanish waiters to provide your every need. Lets see the summer out in BESHley style, IE: starting a bar fight, drinking the place dry and falling over in a heap at the end of the night.

Gin I am in fact Stinky but got bored writing it out. That's just how lazy I am. Glad you had a good break devouring lots of books - my idea of bliss. Oh any Hunger Games freaks (Poo I think?) - Mockingjay is out now, I have it in my sweaty paws to read this weekend.

Um Salty I think if I ignored the ovulation and kept on shagging until I got diffed I would hollowed out by now like a Halloween pumpkin. The bit after the ovulation is where I can heave a huge sigh of relief at another month completed on the organised SWI front!

Hope you are all well and truly out of the pit by next week - I'm off to a wedding (I'm bridesmaid - why are you all making sniggering noises and covering your mouths- I can see you laughing you know) so won't be internet worthy till Weds. Not that any of you will miss me, sniff.

pink taffeta Beaver?

Hullo gin nice to see you back all refreshed from your hols. Sounds luvverly, so it does.

cindyssnatch recently read that you should also SWI about a week after ov to encourage implantation. (stoopid unfeminist reproductive system) Think hb or someone has already mentioned it. So you ain't of the hook that easily :o

I've just had a mini break, all of 4 hrs, lovely walk in pine woods, picnic in secluded dingley dell, walk on beach to laugh at the utterly bonkers locals swimming in the mud sea, then back here just in time for it to cloud over. I am now going to put my feet up, have a pink gin and read some trash.

In other news, TG is threatening the snip after this baybee... although according to SIL I'd never get diffed again anyway so free to good home..... book called The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis. Tis absolutely fucking brilliant, written by american doctor that also uses eastern medicine (needling and herbs) to help fertility ishooes. It is very informative with lots of tips and help - stuff that you can diagnose/do yourself, or can be used in conjunction with eastern and western medicine. First come first serve haglets.

And are you ok with his decision Pollo? The book sounds v interesting but I am happy to give way to longer serving (and suffering) BESHies. Your SIL sounds like a right cow btw.

No not really SaladDays but I can see his point. He has always said two children are enough due to cost and time implications (as in the sooner we stop producing, the sooner they start growing up and getting easier and he gets his life back ... like he ever lost it... don't even get me started on that, I can feel The Rage bubbling) and I've always wanted four children* (although given age and barren probs that might prove difficult even if he was on board). He is immovable on it and therefore he has made the decision for us both which fucks me off royally. However, seeing as I am diffed with No2, I am happy and immensely grateful, as there was a point not so long ago when I thought Boo would be an only child.

Oh yes, SIL is a delight and has often been on the end of a metaphorical BESH cunt kicking.

• Actually, before I met him I didn't want any baybees. Meeting him made me want them, so it is his fault and he should steal me/let me have as many as I want.

That is very kind of you Salad but I did say who replied first... Shall I do a call for any other takers first? I won't be able to post it for a week anyway, as we are off on hollibobs on Sun for a week, so you those who are interested could have a nekkid wrestle to see who wins it if you like?

nekkid wrestling sounds like a extremely satisfiying fair way of settling it

very and a teeny bit at Mr.Poo for denying you anything your heart desires pol but then I suppose I can see his point re: money/time etc. But then I count myself lucky that I have convinced the boy to try and give me just the one (and am still not totally convinced he isnt secretly taking the male pill and causing all this baybeefail)

I'm not bothered about the book but I'm happy to get slippery with you salad

I'd rather someone else read it and gave me the highlights in neat little bullet points... [lazy cow emoticon]

Right then squidlets, I'm off to start my bank holiday weekend of drunkeness, catching up with friends, bestowing birthday gifts upon my barren best friend (she's been at it for 2 years now so deserves much giftage and general stroking / fondling) and of cours,e muchos husband shagging just in case miracles do happen and I could get diffed without so much as a sniff of a droid

Have wonderful times my viroid friends and don;t fear, for I shall return upong the rising of the new week for to catch up on all of the comings and goings (and probs a new thread - yes?)

Greetings Gin, lambtotheslaughter newby here. Potted history - 27 days before my 30th bithday (not that I'm counting)and official advice from fc it not to SWI as I have sperm allergy. Have a feeling I may be in the ranks of the undiffed for a little while, and so found this like/out of our tiny little/ minded thread and askedpermissiontojoin barged straight in.

P.S How very rude of me. Polly as you'll have gathered I'm a noob and would like to extend my wholehearted apologies for not saying this perviously (it's all me me me with, erm, me)

I didn't want any baybees before meeting my husband either, funny how now we haven't been able to have them at the drop of a hat (of the small rubber variety) I'm the one stressing about it rather than him. C'est la vie jay suppose.

Nice to virtually make your acquaintance

Evening all.

'Allo Gin. Lovely to have you back and glad you enjoyed your hols, old girl This has been the fastest fred in the history of freds.

POOOOOO!

Scorps that sounds like an eminently do-able and feasible plan. Go with it, girlfriend!

(since when have I called people "girlfriend"?

I'm going to call Truffkin NIKABRIK. Does anyone know why? Well, do you? House points to the first. And by the way, if Head is Head Girl (naturellement) then can I be Games Captain? Pleeeeeeeease?

Games captain's all yours as far as I'm concerned, unless you're going to be horrid and make us run around in the rain, in fact run around at all in which case I nominate someone else!

I was a house captain at primary school, does that count as experience towards some exciting job? (Our houses were named after actual houses which I think goes against the spirit of the thing but there we go).

Actually if you all keep talking this fast I think I'm going to miss BESHory towers altogether. We're going away tomorrow to a land of no internet (yeah, I know I'm only just back, I'm using up holiday!) You'd better all get good exam results in my absence you hear. (Did they ever actually sit exams in any of those books?)

Both are characters out of Prince Caspian?

I guess I'd have to be the geeky 4 eyed one that comes out of her shell half way through the book and finds a hitherto unforeseen aptitude for hockey. (well probably not the bit about hockey)

by the way aries do I win a prize? Some sardines squashed into a piece of gingerbread perhaps?

Well done. Have a house point. No - two!

I shall be an insanely cruel Games Captain and go on an immense power strip. Start practising your lacrosse immediately.

Am also back from holibobs and fucking incandescent with rage re: scorps' crappy, crappy, crappy PCT.* Bastards. Cunting, arse-biting, shit-for-brains, penny-pinching toss bags. So sorry, love.

Ahem. This thread has moved so quickly that no one will have any idea who I am. Tourettes is the best way to introduce self, obv.

*Am hoping is not tactless but in fact hope-inspiring to point out that my diffment took place the month when I was told to fuck off and lose weight before I could have any drucks?

Au contraire, CamelToe, I am hoping for similar 'Well, fuck YOU then!' angry ironi-diffment! I shall sue you if it doesn't happen

Good to see you back, my humpular sexpot. Baggsy first look at your tan-lines C'mon then, drop 'em; I ain't got all night. Am soon to receive my CD13 secks, so require titillation...

PS MWAH!

Oh, God. Tanlines are of the hideosity. Particularly the sandal straps now tattooed on to feet.

Not mentioning the attractive line that cuts right across my cellulite.

Does that help with the sexxoring? Excellent.

PS Also mwah.

DROM! I was just thinking of you today and your diffment and was going to come along and say to Scorps that clearly the BESH way is to get fucking diffed anyway and cock a snook at the fuckers.

I know it's late - have headache, can't sleep

Listen, try not to write too much, I will set up BESHory Towers as soon as I get up. Ta muchly

morning slhags, welcome home lovelyhumps hope your holibobs* were all that you dreamed off and you are returned all relaxed.

poor scorps hope you got off ok in the end, will be a stress headache that :( hopefully normal BESHes will be having lovely lie ins this morning so we won't use up 30 odd posts before you awaken.

*can NOT stop calling it that now, thanks hb :o

Oh poor Scorpy, I hope you are blissfully snoozing now.

Drom!!! You are back! Am I too late for the bundle?

We've had a shit night. TG has had work nightmare, servers dying etc, 500 people lost work. Unfortunately it may all be viewed as his fault and he is currently thinking that even if he doesn't get the sack, he may have to resign. [freaking out emoticon> Obv am fucking crapping meself now.... Not what you need at any time, but speshly not when diffed.

Eeep poo deep breathes, thats shit. you don't need that at all. Hope it will be ok, will they really point the finger that harshly tho? Servers seem to be more like unpredictable wild beasts than machines half the time. Poor TG. :( Slap me if this is unhelpful but don't things always look worse after a rubbish nights sleep? have a hug bum pinch.

Think he has found a way to restore backups (but not the most recent ones, as they failed... oops) but still means a lot of people will have lost all the work they did on Friday. I think he is feeling a bit better now that he has a solution. Supposed to be going on hols tomorrow but I think we may be going without him, at least until Tues or Weds.

Seeing as no-one else has put in claim for the book Salad, do you want to let me have your address? I will try to get it to you next week... email me at [email protected]. I have to say I am very disappointed at the lack of nekkid wrestling