We're All Going To IBESHA: Last minute budget holiday fun for 30s TTC. Pack your string bikini and your oversized shades and get on board.

[Saladbomb]

Last call for flight SWI101 to Shagaluff. Sangria laced with folic acid on tape. Fake tanned Club reps will be dishing out the 2 for 1 cocktails, dressed in nothing but the most miniscule budgie smugglers. The pit will be manned by sleazy but virile Spanish waiters to provide your every need. Lets see the summer out in BESHley style, IE: starting a bar fight, drinking the place dry and falling over in a heap at the end of the night.

Eep, i hope this doesn't cross post with Aries end of the last one was left a bit uncertain so wasn't sure if I should? Hope this is up to the job

Note: I have packed a string bikini, but it rather looks like someone boned and trussed a large Christmas goose in coloured string, so I may content myself with this here Primark sarong .

Now. I can think of least three every needs that aren't being firmly and solidly provided for. Manuel! Juan! Fernando! This way pliz!

Is fuggin' loverly, you shlaaaaag... HIC! Oy, Pedro - where's me paella 'n' chips?

Glad you like it. Ooh, doesn't that pool look inviting? Think I'll just have a little dip..... Oh my goodness, come on in girls, the water is GIN!!!!!

Ha ha ha the water is gin, what are you lot like!

Worry ye not, HeadGirl - here in Shagaluf, we are all a size 8 and ridiculously fertile, despite 24-7 binge drinking and living on a diet of chips, chocolate, kebabs, curries, fizzy pop and STD medication.

God, how I hate teenagers

Wait for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. SexBomb thanks for organizing the hols .

Hey, we all missed GinTheWomanNotTheWater's post at the end of last thread.

Excellent news!!

That just sounds like you're trying to drown her!

In Shagaluf, even the sea is made from gin. They don't call it the 'drink' for nuffink. Right who's getting shoved in the pool next? Its either that of the wet teeshirt competition.

Gin is Gin's natural element: she'll glide through untouched, the GinBean blissfully unaware

I guess I am the clumsy teenager! Well, I wanted to throw her in for celebration, but then realised she should not have gin... and now I am making it worse! Ok, I am the bumbly clumsy one.

Awwwwight you slaaaaaaaaaags! Oh well done LettuceLeaf! Am very flattered you enjoyed my Shagaluf suggestion and sorry that I then slinked off and got sidetracked. Anyone want their Hawaiian Tropic rubbing in? . Now where's the pool and I want a Sex on the Beach or a Multiple Screaming Orgasm.

I have hosted a fred before and it was supposed to get me diffed but it nevva. So I will have to think hard about taking the plunge again, but I would love to help with the BESHory Towers one (if I can be Alicia?)

Oh dear, just noticed tape not tap. I think the Mallory Towers thread will be good for me as I obviously need some english lessons.

Right, I think I will have to get an early night. I want to be up bright and early to bag a lounger in the shade before it gets too busy. You know my pathetic pasty redhead skin can't take the sun. Plus I want to fit in a full english with a pint on the side before the beach volleyball starts. Laters biatches.

Aries, would you also like a drink? Badum-tsssh! I really wanna do BESHory Towers (this is the only time in my life I have succeeded in delayed gratification PS all ideas to make BESHory Towers simply tiptop are always welcome), but would love you to do another skooly-femed fred after. What about a St Trinians or Molesworth?

I'll be the square one who burns easily, and needs to wear a terribly unflattering sunhat to ward off sunstroke.

I think we should also have alternative super-fertile teenage names. I think mine may be Marlayne.

Baggsie Shernice.

Oooh, am loving the swanky new pad. Mine's a sex on the beach, please.

Anyway, , I got a BFP this morning. Tested after my temps suddenly shot up after plunging viciously yesterday. After two, TWO BFN's. Can't quite believe it.

Gaga that's great news to start the hols with - CONGRATULATIONS! Lets have a round of cocktails to wash down our full english breakfast.

Phew! Nearly missed the flight. Was in Duty Free buying my fags, innit?

Now, who's for spinning round a pole & trying to run in a straight line?

Top bird saladbomb dis is the shiz! I'm called D'Estinee, I'm going out raving in my fluoro orange bikini after snorting a line or ten of babydust. Ah, shit the UV lights is showing up my dandruff somefink chronic. Let me bonk you all on the head wiv me hilarious blow up glow in the dark cock.

And a BFP within 20 posts, is that a new world record? Woohoo BabyGaga and YAYYYY Ginderella!!!!

What a faaaaabulous start to the new fred, Gaga. Hooray!

So I was in Boots yesterday perusing the conception/preggers vitamins and noticed that Pregnacare Conception is waaaay more expensive than regular Pregnacare. You know, the Pregnacare that's marketed at successful women who've managed to win a baby I stood there for a while, quietly grumbling to myself, thinking "Hmph, clearly they are playing into the hands of paranoid BESH types who think a few extra quid will guarantee diffness, grr, etc."

Still bought them. Damn.

Woop! LadyG am dead chuffed for you, clearly this is going to be The Thread of Diffage.

Can't believe you lot used up the whole last two pages of the previous Fred deciding what to call the new Fred.

Now ay av' faags and blue 20:20 'ere for anyone wot wants them an' I iz gonna work on my tan. Can I be Tiffany?

Nice cock, Wizzle btw

Hoopla for BabyGaga! Truly, the sight of fifteen-year-olds vomiting WKD into the gutter is a powerful diffulator!

Meanwhile, I have just eaten three Alpen cereal bars in ten minutes. WIN!

Crikey o'riley I'm struggling to keep up - considering I'm currently what the daily hate calls layabout dole scum is a bit of a poor show.

Viva Beshspania!

Congratulations gaga. Fabuluous news. Oh purlease make this a very lucky thread for everyone. Pretty please with cherries on top.

I'm sporting a dayglo pink fringed tshirt (no bikinis for me ever again), with frizzy hair smelling of digestives with my patchy fake tan and orange hands - now where's me white lightning. Oh no, hang on that's a flashback to me in ibeefa circa 1990.

New joy today - told I get to shove drugs up my fanjo/bumhole as well this time. Apparently progesterone levels were ace but this may help as droid (see I'm catching up with the lingo) started way too early. I'm sure there's worse to come when actually diffed but you do get to say cheerio to your dignity. And I had the silent dildocam woman today - she obviously likes it quiet!