We're All Going To IBESHA: Last minute budget holiday fun for 30s TTC. Pack your string bikini and your oversized shades and get on board.

[Saladbomb]

Last call for flight SWI101 to Shagaluff. Sangria laced with folic acid on tape. Fake tanned Club reps will be dishing out the 2 for 1 cocktails, dressed in nothing but the most miniscule budgie smugglers. The pit will be manned by sleazy but virile Spanish waiters to provide your every need. Lets see the summer out in BESHley style, IE: starting a bar fight, drinking the place dry and falling over in a heap at the end of the night.

ah thanks salty the thing is the annoying posts only seem to come up on my phone, so i wonder if the blocking thing only works on fb online. Another reason to get an iphone i spose...

Thanks ladies, right i'm on a mission to wrestle facebook into submission now.

salty you should try the hangover cure I suggested yesterday.... with the 'special' ingredients :o

I missed that....will look back, but I'm imagining it had something to do with eith FFJ, perhaps in a nice glass of tomato juice OR sparkly wanksplash...no?

I can't find your cure Salad I shall imagine it instead......

Morning BESHial ones, hi to SeanBean we're going to have to duel over Drew Barrymore I see. Mud wrestling, pugle sticks, facebook scrabble? Choose your weapon.

Another day sans droid for me. Although I am not wishing pain upon myself (nor evil hormone related attacks on innocent geek boy) t'would be nice to know something was going on down there. There were 3, yes that's not a typo, actually three pregnancy announcements in my department yesterday. There are only 16 of us and 5 of those are men! One of them is a 'happy' accident - meh.

Other than that, work has generally pissed me off this week so I've scheduled in a piss up sociable drinks this evening as there's only one more get up until bank holiday, which I think I'll be able to manage with the help of a large bacon sandwich and several nurofen express.

Trufflet bloody hell woman, is there a magic departmental chair they have all sat on? Steal it! Steal it now!

And I second what Owleyes said. You need to get us that chair.

Goodness, you lot have been chatty. I only went away for 3 days and it's taken me the best part of a day to catch up.

Hello newbies .

Sympathies to all droidness. I was got yesterday and am sad to hear that I'm in good company. Is there some weird cycle synching thing going on? - I know it can happen when women live together (a housemate once gave me grief for not telling her my droid had arrived early because her cycle seemed to be stalking mine so she was early too and not prepared), is the same thing happening in the palace? If so it had better be preparation for synchronised diffings like what Gin and Muse and Camel managed (was it those 3 who found out on consecutive days?)

I managed not to steal any of my friends' children but had fun being chief story teller. The point at which the 3 year old decided she wasn't going to wee unless it was me who helped rather than Mummy was a little disconcerting though. And small ones still bemuse me, although seeing that 90% of the time the answer to all the 9 month old's sadness was to be handed back to Mummy was kind of reassuring that at least if I was Mummy then that might work with me too.

Oh no... shit... somebody said the bad words... 'Happy Accident' triggers off my... waaaa... grrrrrreaaaaaaargh... BESH SMASH!

BESH SEND RIERIE LUFF FOR CRAMPS, LIGHT CANDLE FOR TARTY'S TREATMENT, SNOG LOZZA ON RETURN FROM PIT... oh phew, that snog seems to have brought me back to normal. Sorry, I mean 'normal'.

I'm seeing my Doc later for to discuss referral to the Barren Menders. Anyone who's gone down that route got advice as to what to say? So far, all I have planned is weeping snottily all over her desk and shrieking 'GIMME MY BAYBEEEE NOWWWWW!', then locking the door and standing in front of it until she promises to go and steal me a child from the waiting room.

Is that the right way to go about it?

Welcome back, Occers!

Hi Occy - I was wondering if there was some synchronisation going on here....I'm still looking for a 2WOOFLing chum (see how I'm getting into BESHory towers mode?)

You do make me laugh Scorpion. I would say that was definitely the way forward with Medical type. If it doesn't work and she doesn't get you a baybee immediately then cart her off and lock her in the Tower as she is clearly a time wasting charlatan.

I'm hoping so, will try to identify and smuggle it out at the earliest opportunity. Am sure I could organise a rota to share it round.

When I told my husband last night he asked if that meant I couldn't get pregnant now because there would be too many people off at the same time. 1) given that it's unlikely to be imminent for me I don't think there will be any cross over and B) no fucking way, I'm not planning my shagging calendar around other people's perfectly functioning ovaries.

As the sun (heavily disguised by rain clouds) is past the yardarm I'm sharing around the virtual vodka, preparing for this evening's shennanigans. Anyone for a cocktail?

I am 2WOOFLing right now this minute if that is any help? I'm not sure it's ever any help to anyone to be honest.

Hope all goes well for Tartlet today.

Happy accident my arse, either she 'forgot' the contraception or it was deliberate; I've managed 34 years on this planet without any 'Happy Accidents' grrr grrr.

Scorps that sounds like a tip-top plan re. GP visit, and if you are still raging around being green and angry I suspect it will work nicely.

Helloooooo OccyHealth

No advice on what to say to the doc I'm afraid, but hope it goes well and you get an appropriate referral.

You lot have inspired me to investigate needling type things and I've discovered there's a clinic in nearby city which does all kinds of alternative fertility stuff. Am being a complete wuss about emailing them to find out more and thinking I should probably consult with TH first, but it all looks very interesting. No prices anywhere though which makes me wonder whether I'll find them out and run for the hills!

Oooh, yes, forgot to send all good vibes and so on to Tarty

hOwler excellent, we can egg each other onkeep the menkul in check together.....What day pliz?

Have lit candle for Tarty Tis orange autumnal smelling one..

RinaRoonie, I can't see the harm in sending an enquiring email to the Alt. Barren Menders. Why not enquire about prices in the email? Have they got a website you can check out? No need to feel guilty or as though you should check with TH first if you're only info-gathering. Needling has really helped me and kept me sane. I realise that all of you look like this right now, but I mean saner than I was. Which isn't saying much. But still...

Posh candle lit here for Cinco :)

readysalted tis day 21, how about you? I am far less menkul than last month when I convinced myself I felt sick and checked my tits for signs of expansion every time I went to the loo. I mean every time.

This time I have had wine and pies and stuff and so far have managed to remain sane less nuts than last month.

But enough about me. Any symptoms we should know about?

day 16....so really not entitled to menkul just yet...do I let that stop me? hell no....

Well done on remaining calm. I am impressed...perhaps I could soak up some of that calm if, say, I put my hand up your skirt?

No symptoms as such, although I still maintain this hangover is just cleverly masking them..

Hello Occy - great to see you. Hope you had a lufferly time and sorry to hear you're in the synchronised droid club. Rest assured that all the best people are in it, so when we all diff together*, it will be marvellous .

Oh yes needling sounds like good fun, and look how sane it has kept Scorio. Baaaaaa! (that's a General Melchitt noise by the way).

Trumpkin you makes me larf you does. You can stay. Oh yes.

I'm very ashamed. I have just completely lost my temper with a 15 year old and bawled him out. I'm not ashamed for the temper loss - he deserved it - but I become an unintentionally comical figure when I'm ranting with scarlet cheeks which clash wildly with my hair, wild eyes and flailing arms. I hope he was suitably chastised, but I fear not. Perhaps a better night's sleep is in order, sans cramps, hot water bottles and pain killers.

*Disclaimer: entirely subjective of course.

Ocster, I think there are a few of us going to try it. I think lettuce leaves is on the case too. I've got my first appt on Sat. I've managed to find someone close by who is £45 for the initial consultation and then £34 after that.

Good to luck to tartlet - another candle lit her for you (a tranquility candle that I do ackshully own in real life no less). Thought it might be appropriate

P.S: scorpio def. think a good old melt down the quacks office is the way forward, although I thought you already had a referral?

Sorry forgot to add the same, Score. A bit of a meltdown may be a good idea, to show him/her how much you care, but don't forget to try and be rational as well, to show you understand everything (which you do because you iz clever), and you have tried everything you can and now you demand help, as a taxpayer paying their goddam wages. Or maybe not the last bit.

No, it's all been stupidly complicated: had to wait 6 weeks after Lap to see a Consultant and get verdict on my fertility ('Unexplained Fertility'). Was then told that because there's nothing wrong with me, the hospital can't refer me for AC; a Doc has to do that if they think I need it. So then I had to wait another 6 weeks (has actually been more like 9 ) for them to send my Doc a letter saying the same and including the findings of the Lap and other investigations at the hospital.

Have chosen a BESH Doc (same age as me, no kids), so she will hopefully feel my pain and send me off quicksmart!

Off soon...

Here, salty let me check your buzzwams for signs of expansion, am getting bored with checking own.