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Original poster

What do you spend on your adult children at Christmas

186 replies

Sliverreindeer · 13/12/2025 11:51

I have 4 DC
Two of whom have birthdays on top of Christmas
I've never managed to get Christmas under £1000
I have to save for it through out the year .
Inspired by the thread on what grandparents spend on grandchildren
I'm thinking,
do people reduce what they spend on their children,when grandchildren come ??
Currently I'm giving £200 cash to each DC and about 12 little stocking/ under the tree presents to each DC consisting of about £60/£70 each ....that £1000 does not include family presents or Christmas food .
So I probably do need to cut down ..but I've been giving this amount for years .
Can I ask if you have adult children mid twenties heading to thirty,what do you spend on them Christmas..and birthday if your happy to say .

OP posts:
Cynic17 · 13/12/2025 12:05

12 "little" presents per person is crazy - nobody needs that! Most of it will not get used, or be thrown away.
I mean, you can spend what you like if you can afford it, but surely as adults they don't need mounds of stuff? In my experience, parents would give each "child" just one modest gift - book/bottle of wine/sweater etc.
Time for a rethink, surely?

Original poster
Sliverreindeer · 13/12/2025 12:07

Cynic17 · 13/12/2025 12:05

12 "little" presents per person is crazy - nobody needs that! Most of it will not get used, or be thrown away.
I mean, you can spend what you like if you can afford it, but surely as adults they don't need mounds of stuff? In my experience, parents would give each "child" just one modest gift - book/bottle of wine/sweater etc.
Time for a rethink, surely?

Yes ..that's why I'm here asking what other people do

OP posts:
Original poster
Sliverreindeer · 13/12/2025 12:11

Cynic17 · 13/12/2025 12:05

12 "little" presents per person is crazy - nobody needs that! Most of it will not get used, or be thrown away.
I mean, you can spend what you like if you can afford it, but surely as adults they don't need mounds of stuff? In my experience, parents would give each "child" just one modest gift - book/bottle of wine/sweater etc.
Time for a rethink, surely?

But is it still crazy ,if they don't get presents or money of anyone else ,no partners or relatives buy them anything at all.
So it's always been what I buy is everything they get ..
So I've always felt I'm overcompensating for relatives who never bother

OP posts:
DisplayPurposesOnly · 13/12/2025 12:13

Maybe set a budget then fit the people into it? So the budget stays the same but the amount per person goes down as new people (their partners, their children) get added over time.

I think my mum spends less than £100 on us as adults, spends double that on the one grandchild and about £150 in total on the other three children in the wider family.

WhereTheWaldThingsAre · 13/12/2025 12:14

I have told my children that Christmas stockings will end when they finish full time education - hasn’t happened yet for us.

That will mean one gift under the tree for them - depends what it is, but I would reckon £50-90 each as a rough estimate.

That’s what my parents did for us.

Paperwhite209 · 13/12/2025 12:15

I think this year it's about £250, although she's still at uni. I imagine it might reduce a bit once she's working.

I've paid for a ticket to a gig she wanted for next year (she thought she'd missed out so spent her budget on something else then they added more dates so I said I'd treat her)

Vinyl LP, book, tote bag for crochet stuff, chocs, chicken wine glass and mini bottle, electric whisk, Bum Bum body spray, sourdough jar.

Food hamper instead of a stocking - lots of nice storecupboard bits - seasonings, recipe kits, pasta, rice, bread mix, biscuits, olives...all a bit nicer than she'd buy herself that will save her some money over the first month or two of next year.

She's my only one and she's fabulous so she probably does get indulged a bit more than she might so if I had other kids.

Paperwhite209 · 13/12/2025 12:17

So I've always felt I'm overcompensating for relatives who never bother

I get it. We've got a small family too, but mostly I just enjoy spoiling her a bit. She's lovely, works bloody hard and asks for next to nothing year round so I don't see an issue.

Cantthinkofanewusernameffs · 13/12/2025 12:17

I have 4 adult DC.
For birthdays they all get a present - budget isn't set in stone, but probably around £40.
For Christmas, they all had their 'Santa' budget until the Christmas of the year they turned 30. After that, they get a present of around £40.
GC get about the same amount spent on them.

Cadenza12 · 13/12/2025 12:20

It doesn't really matter what other people spend, it boils down to what you can afford. Your list sounds very generous, which is great if you can afford it. Cut down to half, tell them you are cutting back and just do it. Even that is a lot.

CloseEncountersOfTheTurdKind · 13/12/2025 12:24

My Dad spends £20 on me and my brother. A slight reduction on the £25 limit for our birthday and Christmas presents when we were kids in the 90s and 00s.

Chewbecca · 13/12/2025 12:24

12 little presents sounds hard work to me, plus personally I don't want to receive socks or soaps for Christmas.

We spend about £150 per adult child, often just as cash (bank trf), which is more than I think we probably should but we are more comfortable than they are so it feels right at the moment. No small gifts. Perhaps when they get older, it will reduce, or perhaps just never increase!

Whistler171 · 13/12/2025 12:24

We don’t bother with gifts between adults in the family. It seems utterly pointless.

PuppiesProzacProsecco · 13/12/2025 12:42

DD is 26 and I've spent about £350 on her this year. Birthdays tend to be £150 ish. I'd probably reduce my Christmas spend on her as she's all grown up but my DS (her half brother) is 12 and I kind of feel the need to make sure she doesn't feel like she's being treated differently. Though my budget for him is a little higher at Christmas - usually £500 or a little more.

I know DD really appreciates all the things I buy into the house for the festive period though - cheese, crackers, Baileys etc, all her favourites will be here waiting for her next weekend. She's also a big fan of Christmas morning mimosas and this year I'm planning to make them with fancy, wreath shaped ice cubes made from orange juice, cranberries and mint leaves. I know she'll appreciate the thought and time I've put into those little traditions.

charliehungerford · 13/12/2025 12:51

I have two in their early thirties, as a family we don’t buy for anyone else, so we do enjoy gifting, probably around £200 each, their favourite tipple, nice notebooks/diaries for work, a couple of books, and things they’ll use like toiletries, chocolates, and scented candles. They are great kids who always want to spend most of Christmas with us. We don’t really have any other family that we are close to so happy to indulge them a bit. They also reciprocate with some lovely gifts for us as well.

Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride · 13/12/2025 12:59

About a hundred each. Still get stockings but thats where the socks, lego bits, sweets go.

Makingpeace · 13/12/2025 13:01

That is a crazy amount to spend on adult children OP!
My adult life, probably from around 22yr old, I've received a token gift from my parents and it is plenty - sometimes they'll splash out on a top or jumper at £30 e.g. one they saw and thought of me. They did toiletries one year for each of us which was thoughtful but a fail. Usually a box of chocolates or a Poinsettia these days and that is it. They probably spend up to about £20 on each grandchild (x8).

I would much rather they joined us for Christmas dinner / day instead.

It's enough.

Onefortheroad25 · 13/12/2025 13:09

About €200 this year on ds21. That’s 3 gifts. He still lives at home and is doing an apprenticeship. Working at the moment but wouldn’t have a huge amount of money. He’s extremely generous with his younger siblings so I like to get him something nice.
These 3 gifts will be under the tree, there’s no stocking being hung up at 21!

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 13/12/2025 13:10

This sounds crazy, to me.

I'd happily spend up to about £350 each on our two, but they have insisted on us just doing a Secret Santa for the last couple of years - our budget is £50 each. They refused point blank to let me do any more - I'm not even doing stockings this year, although I have done in previous years.

firstofallimadelight · 13/12/2025 13:10

i spent 150 at Xmas and 250 at birthdays when they were little. They are 23 and 25 now and I’ve reduced in since last year to £100 at birthdays and £100 at Xmas. I generally buy one or two main pressies and a few small pressies plus 5/6 stocking fillers. They also both have boyfriends who I spend £50 each on. If they have kids down the line I’ll probably do £75 each for everyone.

NormasArse · 13/12/2025 13:13

We give money (£200 each) and do a whole family secret Santa, with a budget of £20-30.

Nobody is really bothered about unwrapping stuff now they’re older (38 and 25)

My daughter (27) has SLD, so we do wrapped presents for her, and cinema vouchers. She doesn’t understand money at all.

ChiefCakeTestertoMaryBerry · 13/12/2025 13:26

My dad just asks what I’d like for Christmas and then will get it, whether it’s a £10 book or £250 suitcase. If I say I don’t want anything then he won’t get anything. It feels very transactional. He spends quite a lot on my sister who has more money than he does. I would rather he just came over for Christmas dinner, but his wife doesn’t want to come.

I can’t remember exactly now what I got from my mum when I was late 20s; I’m guessing she spent around £50-100 on me.

Original poster
Sliverreindeer · 13/12/2025 13:34

Paperwhite209 · 13/12/2025 12:15

I think this year it's about £250, although she's still at uni. I imagine it might reduce a bit once she's working.

I've paid for a ticket to a gig she wanted for next year (she thought she'd missed out so spent her budget on something else then they added more dates so I said I'd treat her)

Vinyl LP, book, tote bag for crochet stuff, chocs, chicken wine glass and mini bottle, electric whisk, Bum Bum body spray, sourdough jar.

Food hamper instead of a stocking - lots of nice storecupboard bits - seasonings, recipe kits, pasta, rice, bread mix, biscuits, olives...all a bit nicer than she'd buy herself that will save her some money over the first month or two of next year.

She's my only one and she's fabulous so she probably does get indulged a bit more than she might so if I had other kids.

Same here ,sounds similar, except I've 4 ..
Your gift s sound lovely

OP posts:
Original poster
Sliverreindeer · 13/12/2025 13:35

Paperwhite209 · 13/12/2025 12:17

So I've always felt I'm overcompensating for relatives who never bother

I get it. We've got a small family too, but mostly I just enjoy spoiling her a bit. She's lovely, works bloody hard and asks for next to nothing year round so I don't see an issue.

I like spoiling them to

OP posts:
Original poster
Sliverreindeer · 13/12/2025 13:36

Cadenza12 · 13/12/2025 12:20

It doesn't really matter what other people spend, it boils down to what you can afford. Your list sounds very generous, which is great if you can afford it. Cut down to half, tell them you are cutting back and just do it. Even that is a lot.

Every year ,I say I'm cutting down
But literally no one else buys them a gift ,so I feel mean

OP posts:
Original poster
Sliverreindeer · 13/12/2025 13:39

Plus ...which I completely forgot to include
About 4 years ago they all started buying us parents gifts ,and that was the year I'd decided to cut back , suddenly there were lots of presents for us under the tree and not cheap ones either ,like nice ones that we really liked.
So despite me saying don't waste your money on us..they still do .
I'd be mortified if it turned out they had spent more on us one Christmas.

OP posts: