What do you spend on your adult children at Christmas

[Sliverreindeer]

I have 4 DC
Two of whom have birthdays on top of Christmas
I've never managed to get Christmas under £1000
I have to save for it through out the year .
Inspired by the thread on what grandparents spend on grandchildren
I'm thinking,
do people reduce what they spend on their children,when grandchildren come ??
Currently I'm giving £200 cash to each DC and about 12 little stocking/ under the tree presents to each DC consisting of about £60/£70 each ....that £1000 does not include family presents or Christmas food .
So I probably do need to cut down ..but I've been giving this amount for years .
Can I ask if you have adult children mid twenties heading to thirty,what do you spend on them Christmas..and birthday if your happy to say .

That's not massively different from us .
It sounds nice

If you can easily afford it then it’s fine…..lots of AC earn more than their parents so don’t go without to buy them stuff I would say…..then what happens when GC arrive? ….are you going to carry on buying everyone…..it will get mega expensive…..im 60 …I still work but only part time ( plus nhs pension) ….so I’m ok for money ….but 2 of my DC earn a lot more than me ….I don’t do AC presents anymore….just my DGC …..I pay for a family holiday once a year ( which is a present I suppose)

Sounds perfect x

I guess ,when grandchildren come along I will have to cut back somewhere.
But we aren't at that point yet

Gosh yes buying them a holiday ,is a wonderful gift .
I'd love to be able to do that

Perhaps time to have a conversation with them? I doubt that they want so many little presents. So much money, and so many resources, get wasted at Christmas.

I only give small, token presents, like a ticket to see the Nutcracker or similar. Plus fabulous food to eat.

When they were younger - between uni and landing decent paying jobs - I’d give them some money; but not just at Christmas.

For my adult daughter who has had a bit of a bumpy road the last few months…diamond earrings. It a bit of a splurge but I rarely buy her anything during the year. Lab grown but lovely none the less…800$. For her November birthday I paid for an antique table she wanted 300$.

my nephew is receiving crate and barrel glass/ bamboo food containers. Items he has expressed a desire for. An apple air tag and a really lush pillow. This is 220$ and his grandpa and I split it.

for my son he wants to try on and select new trainers. I’m expecting 150$+. An apple air tag and also the same lush pillow much nicer than what he’s currently sleeping on

echoing @Paperwhite209 my dd is fab and she helps so much with the meal and shopping and comes home every holiday an 8 hr drive and she is the only daughter only granddaughter only niece first born girl and I love being xtra for her.

no one keeps track of the money spent and there is no jealousy. My DS I see often and help him clean and organize and take him out for many dinners and prepare homemade soups and frozen meals for him so his “money” is spent all over the year. He is in graduate school.

no other adult gifts given or received DH and I do not exchange.

we eat like kings and we enjoy hosting and visiting each other and extended family

I have been covering another colleagues patients since September due to extended illness and I decided to use some of this extra income on the holiday
I did not buy ornaments or new decor for the holiday and have made an intentional decision to stay out of the trifecta of Tjmaxx Homegoods and Marshall’s. I feel more overall bits by bits spending is the same despite the earrings.

no stockings all gifts wrapped ( even the shoes will be wrapped) and we open Christmas morning

One of the best things one can do in terms of presents for one’s children or grandchildren is contribute to junior ISAs for them. Especially equity funds. They’ll have a nice sum once they reach adulthood.

I've never spent £1000 on any family member at Christmas. DS at uni does get money from us for rent aside from any presents so definitely would not be spending that much on presents. Typical presents have included magazine/media subscriptions, photography equipment for hobby, clothing. I don't even know how I'd spend a thousand or why.

What you do sounds lovely. I bet they all love it. My kids are teens so not at that stage yet but my parents still treat me at Christmas and I appreciate it so much. They can afford it easily and I get choosing treat stuff I wouldn’t normally allocate funds to. I would like to do this when my kids are grown up. Don’t feel guilty if it works for you and you can afford it. It sounds like you make Christmas great for them! Once partners take over, fine, but you are perfectly entitled to use money you can afford to treat adult kids at Christmas!

I spend about £120 on my three adult children and about £50 on the partners of 2 of them. £70 ish on 2 Grandchildren. There is a big difference in their incomes but I spend about the same on all 3.
Edited to say they don’t have stocking presents anymore,grandchildren have Christmas Eve Box .

I am 52 and my sister 2 years younger. My parents live in Australia and I am in the uk. Tbh they don’t spend anything. We are often a bit hit and miss with adult gifts! I send them an interflora delivery. Last year they sent me some hand cream. I have no idea if they get stuff for my sister. Maybe. They are more likely to send dh a book voucher! It would be different I think if we actually saw each other but usually we just have a phone call.

I'm in my 40's, married with 2 DC. My parents spend probably £100 or slightly more on me and £50-60 each on my DH & DC.

My MIL (now sadly passed away) used to spend £150 ish on me, the same on her son (my DH) and £30-40 on each GC.

So both sides have continued to spend more on their adult DC than on their GC, which seems to be opposite to most families.

There's no right or wrong.

About £70-£80 each including stockings. But I've been picking bits up for them all year.

Ours are 31 and 27. They get £150 each and their partners get £100.

One grandchild on the way. I imagine we'll spend £100 per grandchild.

Money isn't an issue.

That makes a world of difference to me.
I know it's about giving and not receiving blah blah, but it got to the stage where the eldest was earning four times my income and buying me nothing in return or at the most spending £10 on a CD. And I figured it had become a bit ridiculous.
So the younger three now blame the eldest for the budget cuts. 😂

But they are adults! They don't need a load of presents. If they and their friends choose not to give each other gifts, that's fine too.

I’ve 4 children 22, 20, 8 and 6. I’ve spent £350ish on them each. Never really thought about spending less once they’ve the older ones - if anything they have less stuff!

I stopped bothering with xmas and all that stress years ago. My adult kids are not bothered either. We don't exchange gifts and it makes for a happy, stress free time for all. I do things throughout the year though like pay for hotel rooms, meals out, random gifts here and there or pay for things they need. I think it adds up to about the same but without the mental overload.

@Whistler171 i wish my family would stop adult gifting, so much pressure you don’t need to buy things people dont really need. All for spoiling the children!

My dad always gave my sister and I £200 and a few small presents. When the grandkids came along he switched it so they have £200 and my sis and I have £100.

@SliverreindeerI spend about £350 each on mine, the oldest two are at university. But like you mine don’t really get presents from other relatives so I am sure I overcompensate. However I can afford it. As they go into their twenties I do think this will change slightly. Anybody who wakes up here Christmas morning gets a small stocking. But I think once they have moved out I will gravitate towards buying something to open and then cash. Or a big ticket item depending on what they want.

Between 4 of them , definitely not each

Yes ..so one of mine has moved out ,but still comes for all of Christmas..but she only moved round the corner
I still do stockings to
It's hard cutting back when you know they won't get anything else
No partners yet either ..there has been in the past ..but currently just me buying for them ,from me and dh

I'm glad you found what works for your family x