What do you spend on your adult children at Christmas

[Sliverreindeer]

I have 4 DC
Two of whom have birthdays on top of Christmas
I've never managed to get Christmas under £1000
I have to save for it through out the year .
Inspired by the thread on what grandparents spend on grandchildren
I'm thinking,
do people reduce what they spend on their children,when grandchildren come ??
Currently I'm giving £200 cash to each DC and about 12 little stocking/ under the tree presents to each DC consisting of about £60/£70 each ....that £1000 does not include family presents or Christmas food .
So I probably do need to cut down ..but I've been giving this amount for years .
Can I ask if you have adult children mid twenties heading to thirty,what do you spend on them Christmas..and birthday if your happy to say .

Moved out at 19...no birthday or Xmas was acknowledged after that for me.

DT’s are mid 20’s - both living independently with their own careers. We do an extended family secret Santa with a limit of £50. We might buy them something individually but depends if there is anything they need/would live. Money isn’t an issue.

I don't think there is anything wrong with what you are doing, as long as you are happy with it. There is a lot of sneering at over the top gifting on here. Lots of people are struggling financially, and it is absolutely right for them to cut back. But, as long as you can afford it, there is nothing wrong with being generous to your DC at Xmas!

My mum tended to give me £100-£150 joint vouchers of our choosing for me and DH. She would also give a few thoughtful gifts each - toiletries, a game, a hobby item, etc. Chocolate coins marked "from Santa". She saved up though the year for this. I would always try to give her something lovely in return.

I understand what Martin Lewis is saying about unnecessary gifting, but some people use that as an excuse to bring out their inner scrooge.

I think it is fine to change what you do as circumstances change though, e.g. joint presents, or splitting the budget with partners.

We do £70 each for all adults in the family (anyone over 18). So when my DD turned 18 we reduced what we spent on her down to £70. Our DS is younger so we still spend £300 on him and this will continue until he’s 18 then it’ll reduce to £70.

DD is now married with 2 very young children so this year we’ve changed things so we won’t buy anything for DD and SIL, instead we’ll just buy for the 2 grandchildren.

I spend about £350 each on my DC (2 are adults, youngest 17). About £250 for bdays. Was going to reduce this year then my ex surprisingly send me some money as he’s living overseas and asked me to add his name to some gifts so have ordered youngest two an extra gift now to use that money. So can’t cut down eldest or i’d feel bad.

I haven’t got adult DC, but I think my DM spends £200. I don’t think this includes stockings though.

In my family, we put consumables in stockings, which brings the cost down and prevents waste. Things like deodorant, body wash, body lotion and favourite chocolate etc.

Ds 30 €300 dressing gown, electric blanket, booze and €100 - stocking with sweets and shower set.
DS 27 €400 Nintendo switch, booze & stocking
DS 24 (student) €600 laptop, clothes & stocking

What’s fair isn’t always equal with my lads.
Most years they have different needs and it doesn’t make sense to keep the older one’s budget in line with the younger ones.

I guess I was wondering if I should cut back ..I have friends with children I could ask ,but my children are adults and my friends children are children..so id nothing to go on ,to see how other people do things .
I save up through out the year to afford this..the money isn't just there in an account,I have to make the effort to save it in a Christmas account
I'm greatful we are able to do this

It's up to you if you want to cut back, but please just do what makes you happy. No amount is wrong per se. Both my children are now working adults but I still spend about £250 plus stocking each. It makes me happy and whilst some of my friends spend much less on their AC, I enjoy buying them nice things at Christmas. Partners and eventually GC will change this amount but for now it's what I choose to spend. Partly I think because my mum was widowed at 40 but still worked super hard to buy us what we wanted for christmas. I still see it as a magical time and a chance to make a few small dreams come true. 🥰

Do they buy each other presents?

Probably in the region of 3 or 4 hundred euros per DD. All adults now but one still at home, the other in and out as shes sorting out her career.
I usually ask for some hints and tbf its usually something they need.
EG, this year the main presents for each are, runners for one, a particular co ord set for another, and wierdly enough shoes for the other. Good quality stuff that they might not buy themselves. the other stuff then is makeup, accessories, things like a travel bag for one, an alexa for another, and good bedsheets for the other.
They buy each other presents but only in the last few years since they started having PT jobs and they wouldnt be a lot of money but nice bits like make up brushes or a book they would like.
Im very lucky now I have the bobs to do so, many a year Santa was waiting for the last payday before xmas to sort a smyths order and there was no splurging.
Now we can, we do. Its not excessive and they are always very appreciative.
They also buy us presents and that is usually what makes them most excited on cmas morning, seeing me open mine.

I probably spend £500 each on my young adult DC. Single parent, no other parent on the scene.

Just do what you want to OP. Do what makes you happy and what your DC appreciate. No one else matters here, if you can afford it and it brings joy.

My DM hasn’t given me anything for Christmas for years. You sound very generous but if it’s causing you so much stress, it’s time to stop. I don’t have relatives or a partner to buy me anything either so I just buy myself a few things. Works out well. I get exactly what I like!

£200 cash and £200 gifts

Spend a couple of hundred on each adult DC and still do stockings. I can afford it,they like it,I like it.
They didn't get lots when they were young because I was skint so we all enjoy it now.

Three in their Late Twenties to Early Thirties, we spend around 80 to 90 pounds each. 4 or 5 gifts.
I wouldn't do money and gifts, or I would only do one or two gifts alongside.
My parents get me wine and chocolate, and that is enough.

Op in reality 1000 maybe peanuts to you my in laws have a very strict spend per person I think 50 quid they are well off.1000 would be a massive unthinkable extravagance

Or your maybe really scrimping and saving up each year is a real strain
And maybe your DC earn well ?
So many variablws

Those ice wreaths sound very cool. She will love them!

We have 6 grandchildren who take priority at Christmas with gifts and money in their accounts.
We are fortunate that everyone has good jobs and really don’t need anything. when we visit we take nice food and drink but don’t as a rule give Christmas gifts to the adults apart from charity gifts.

We spend about £500 each on our dc, aged 22 and 18, including their stockings.

I spend about £250 on DS aged 26. I don't find it to be excessive but in many ways he's more like a teen, autistic and living at home so I buy clothes and some practical things. Some years are more expensive, eg when he upgrades his PC. Financially for us it makes sense, as it's a gift from excess income and we don't need the money, so it would go unspent and left to him when we die and then get taxed otherwise.

My parents spend about £20 on me as they can't afford more and that's fine. We don't buy gifts for adult siblings or other adult family, or friends.

I have a big 10 year age gap between my two (youngest 14) and it would feel very wrong and weird to give Ds (youngest) a lot more than adult dd. So they both get the same - around £200 for a main present, Ds this year has a particular watch he’s been after, dd has a gift voucher she can use all over the place and then I spend around another £100 ish in presents. I enjoy giving them things and can afford it so I think that’s fine. At the moment though dd is quite a “young” adult - she’s living at home and doesn’t have a boyfriend etc etc so maybe it might change over time.

Oh that makes more sense, sorry for misreading

I receive £100 from parents at Christmas, that is to cover me/DH/2x GC. They don't buy anything throughout the year. I don't receive a birthday gift/money and the kids usually get £25 for birthdays. I stopped buying them birthday gifts once I realised they weren't anymore.

DH parents the opposite and it's over that each plus some extra small gifts.

No money issues on either side.

We just accept it for what it is of course.

This year the budget is £200 each. 24 and 21. Not massively less than when they wre younger which varied between 200 - 300.