Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

Not ungrateful but sh*t gifts from family

202 replies

elephantsbreafh · 29/12/2022 07:12

i shouldn’t be complaining as I didn’t expect anything so should be grateful for what I got… however, I’d rather not get anything than get tat that I don’t like and won’t use.

pyjamas 2 sizes too small
a towel with tag and price still attached
a ‘designer’ purse from my sibling - not my taste at all, she even told me she wanted to keep it for herself and was probably hoping I’d say she could keep it (she has form for this)
a bottle of cheap hand soap
a novelty bath bomb (I don’t have a bath, and I’m fussy with skincare…)

I try to shop local and handmade where I can, and I’d rather get people something small but thoughtful and/or useful. I don’t go around buying mass produced tat for the sake of gifts, and my family know me well enough to know that. I just feel so disappointed that for years I’ve put so much effort into their gifts, and every year I’m left thinking wtf? I’d honestly have been happier with one small thing that actually had some thought put into it.

Would it seem really mean to enforce no gifts next year? Apart from for the kids?

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 29/12/2022 10:39

I'd tell the pj person it's the wrong size and can you have the receipt (or you may well be able to exchange it without of tags attached).
The other gifts are just thoughtless.

luckylavender · 29/12/2022 10:42

@Dogsgottabone - lots of people do just that. Just because you don't it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

Lampzade · 29/12/2022 10:42

I don’t buy Christmas gifts for adult members of my family .
Makes life so much easier

Dogsgottabone · 29/12/2022 10:44

luckylavender · 29/12/2022 10:42

@Dogsgottabone - lots of people do just that. Just because you don't it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

No, that's a fair point!

MagpiePi · 29/12/2022 10:49

Why don’t you say what you want? I have never understood why we are all supposed to be psychic when it comes to buying people gifts, hence all the generic candle / bath sets / socks type things that get passed around.

Say no adult gifts and then buy yourself what you want and label it from Santa or the cat or something.

I have a friend who buys her own presents for her husband and kids to give to her. Sometimes she even shows them what they’ve got her before she wraps them. 😁

Lovesnowforever · 29/12/2022 11:04

I got sponge and face wipes - both worth about £2.

JulesJules · 29/12/2022 11:43

YANBU. We don't really do presents for adults. Me and my sister do a gift bag of home made stuff for my Dad (chutney, marmalade, lemon curd, granola plus some of his favourite sweets) and he gives us cash in a card. Me and DH do stockings for the DC (older teenagers) and do a family day out or theatre trip with them. That's it.

VeronicaFranklin · 29/12/2022 12:00

Someone got me a jigsaw puzzle with the first initial of my middle name on because they said there wasn't one left with my first name initial.

Some lavender sachets to put in my clothing drawers.

A pot of dried noodles. Which was bit random.

Cuwins · 29/12/2022 12:26

I'm not sure what the problem is with pjs in the wrong size- I brought my mum pjs and wasn't sure I had got the size right. Thankfully I had apparently but could just as easily not have. Exchange them for the right size.
As for leaving the price on- someone in my family manages to do this every year, it's an ongoing joke! It was my sister this year. Just take it off!

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 29/12/2022 12:36

It's only my opinion here, but given the state we are in with energy bills soaring and food going up in price etc.. etc..., it makes sense to buy for children only especially if the gifts you have received in the past are like these OP.
To buy someone something they simply cannot use i.e, a bath bomb when you only have a shower is an ill thought out waste of money unless of course it can be regifted back to the giver next year 😀

poefaced · 29/12/2022 12:41

Would it seem really mean to enforce no gifts next year? Apart from for the kids?

YANBU at all.

Tell them now and remind them again in October.

Did you ask the person who got you the pyjamas for the receipt so you can exchange for correct size? Don’t give sis the handbag, give to charity or sell on eBay.

BlueKaftan · 29/12/2022 12:42

Why do so many OPs insist that they give “thoughtful homemade” gifts without even questioning whether that’s what anyone wants? Sure, maybe aunt Judy wants a knitted tea cosy but unless you’re a professional level crafter then it’s tat.

poefaced · 29/12/2022 12:43

Cuwins · 29/12/2022 12:26

I'm not sure what the problem is with pjs in the wrong size- I brought my mum pjs and wasn't sure I had got the size right. Thankfully I had apparently but could just as easily not have. Exchange them for the right size.
As for leaving the price on- someone in my family manages to do this every year, it's an ongoing joke! It was my sister this year. Just take it off!

Getting PJs two sizes too small is really thoughtless. You can generally tell your family sizes, e.g. there is no excuse for getting someone who wears size 14 clothing size 10 pyjamas. And if you don’t know the size, ASK beforehand.

poefaced · 29/12/2022 12:45

MagpiePi · 29/12/2022 10:49

Why don’t you say what you want? I have never understood why we are all supposed to be psychic when it comes to buying people gifts, hence all the generic candle / bath sets / socks type things that get passed around.

Say no adult gifts and then buy yourself what you want and label it from Santa or the cat or something.

I have a friend who buys her own presents for her husband and kids to give to her. Sometimes she even shows them what they’ve got her before she wraps them. 😁

Hopefully her husband buys his own gifts too?

Cuwins · 29/12/2022 12:48

@poefaced 2 sizes is quite a long way out I suppose but buying my mums pjs I was stuck between xs listed as 6-8 and small listed as 10-12. She normally wears an 8 or a 10 depending on the item and shop so only way to be sure would have been to say- 'what size would you have in pjs from marks mum?' And now she knows what she is getting which ruins the surprise! So I brought them and kept the receipt in case the size was wrong. Not sure there is anything wrong with that!

Divebar2021 · 29/12/2022 13:03

I have a friend who buys her own presents for her husband and kids to give to her. Sometimes she even shows them what they’ve got her before she wraps them

Id leave home before I did this. If your own family can’t even be bothered to go online and order an item and wrap it then why are you even there? Have a wish list by all means, send a link to a specific item and say “I like this” but do all the labour yourself and you’re raising a generation of useless, entitled individuals.

LadyKenya · 29/12/2022 13:07

We do not buy presents for the adults in my family. I see no need to buy for adults, who can go and buy their own stuff.

icanwearwhatiwant · 29/12/2022 13:11

Just stop doing presents and all buy things you like for yourself. Your family probably sit there thinking "oh @elephantsbreafh buys shit, tiny handy crafts so I'll not go to too much trouble either.
The thing is that you thing your gifts are nicest and theirs are shit. They may have a completely different perspective. I see nothing wrong with the gifts you describe (sizes are easy to get wrong and easy to correct) it's all a matter of taste.
Stop giving gifts that are not appreciated and concentrate on enjoying being together 🤷🏽‍♀️

nancydroo · 29/12/2022 13:13

God I would hate handmade gifts but everyone is different. A towel is useful but the price left on is just a silly mistake. I like to receive gifts, even shitty ones. But we tend to give to our kids and only a couple of others outside the family. Adults in the family just send cards so leave it at that if it's less annoying, not handmade cards though.

Hahahahohoho · 29/12/2022 13:21

nancydroo · 29/12/2022 13:13

God I would hate handmade gifts but everyone is different. A towel is useful but the price left on is just a silly mistake. I like to receive gifts, even shitty ones. But we tend to give to our kids and only a couple of others outside the family. Adults in the family just send cards so leave it at that if it's less annoying, not handmade cards though.

Why do you even enjoy shitty gifts - would an empty cardboard box bring you joy? All that promise of something lovely only to find something shitty - I find that annoying especially the mess and the disposal - it's more bloody tidying.

Hahahahohoho · 29/12/2022 13:23

I have a friend who buys her own presents for her husband and kids to give to her. Sometimes she even shows them what they’ve got her before she wraps them I have a friend who does this too - I can't understand it.

Jellybean2023 · 29/12/2022 13:27

This is why we started secret santa in our family - one person each to buy for with a set limit, and you can do a wishlist of ideas. Everyone turns out happy, you don't spend a fortune and you don't get tat you don't want (sugar free marshmallows and a box of socks in the wrong size I'm looking at you)

nancydroo · 29/12/2022 13:37

Hahaha I like unwrapping things and I have pretty low expectations of people's gift giving. It's still nice to receive no matter how crappy.

RedHelenB · 29/12/2022 13:39

Maybe they'd rather "mass produced tat" than your "thoughtful handmade " presents. If you knew your sister would like a designer purse why wouldn't you get her one? Juat seems a difference in what makes up a gift to me.

CoffeandTiaMaria · 29/12/2022 13:41

I got nothing. Zilch. Nada.
😢