Our guests are hinting that they are going to stay longer than wanted ! How to find the words?

[Duvetdaysaregood]

Guests invited until tomorrow. Been here since 23 rd with general idea to go between c mas and new year.

Heard one lot say to another , oh how long are you staying.? . they replied ..oh maybe till the new year. ..

I could not just holler .. what ..?? From a distance across kitchen.


So , said to them later , what did you say about stating longer .. ? They shrugged it off and changed the subject
I said i needed to know . Evasive .

I repeated that we needed to know for food etc and they just said oh well we could get food .

I have had this before and struggled .we live in a beautiful area of natural beauty where people go on holiday and they do relax .

anyone had this before ? If so , do I need to directly say please leave ..and if so how ! Without causing offence ?
They know
us well and I am struggling to ask them to go . If i say we have other guests due , ( a lie and dont want to lie ) I think they would just say oh no problem , we can all muck in , offer to sleep on camp bed if bo room .. I jusy want ghem to go .

[watchfulwishes]

You simply say 'so, we are busy from <day>, what are you're plans for heading home?'

[neverendinglauaundry]

Can't you just say you need family time alone and are expecting them to be gone by x date?
Don't say it's about food or other people etc as they'll just try to solve that problem.

[NerrSnerr]

Just tell them you have plans and they can't stay.

[Menopants]

Just tell them to leave

[GreenLeavesRustling]

We have ☹️ Much loved guests, were meant to stay two weeks, stayed an extra ten days. It was just too much, I had no annual leave without visitors, just can’t relax with extra people here. That was in the summer, we have had Christmas on our own (would normally have invited them) but couldn’t face it!

you need to say, no, that isn’t convenient, you need to leave on x, sorry

[Thethingswedoforlove]

I think you just need to say something like this will sound really off but I really hope you will understand. For my mental health I am going to need some space before I <eg have to go back to work or whatever is appropriate for the new year> and so I am going to need you to leave at the time we originally agreed. You know, as I’m getting older I’m finding I love having guests more and more but I also find that I really need some space after they have left. So I’m afraid it won’t be possible for you to stay beyond x date. But I hope we can meet up again soon at y time or whatever. Basically, be honest ….

[LadyGaGasPokerFace]

Switch the heating off.

[LizzieBet14]

Oh I'd have plans. Very big plans. Plans that couldn't possibly be changed....

[santibaby]

Who are the guests? That has a bearing on how I would solve this issue (but I agree you want to head this off!)

[WeepingSomnambulist]

"I should have been a bit more clear earlier. I was just taken aback when I heard your plans. We really need quiet family time for the new year and we just wont cope with guests staying longer. When we chatted about this, we agreed youd leave after christmas and we've already planned out our alone time so I'd really appreciate it if we could set a day for you going. How about the tomorrow/insert date here?"

[GroggyLegs]

Omg.

I can only imagine, however close, you're ready to have your home & your space back. Looking after other people is exhausting - their assumption that it's okay to extend their stay without asking is incorrect.

If that's the case, I think you need to tell them that. Something about for your own wellbeing you need to relax and recoup in your own home before New Year starts and the return to work/school or whatever keeps you busy. Tell them you planned for 5 days and much as you've enjoyed spending time with them, that's what it needs to be - if they'd asked, you would have explained this before they announced it to someone else.

They are being really unreasonable. I guess it's very close family as that's incredibly cheeky.

[Maxaluna]

"So it's leaving day today, it's been great catching up but back to reality! I'll make xxx for breakfast then you can set off mid-morning. "

[Menomenon]

This is bizarre. Who treats their hosts like that?

[dieselKiller]

I’m confused. Did you invite them until “tomorrow” or until “between c mas and new year”?

If you’re expecting them to leave tomorrow, offer them food to take on their journey home or ask them which route they’ll take home. Anything which makes it clear that you’re expecting them to leave tomorrow. Don’t ask open ended questions that permit the possibility of staying longer. It’s not their choice.

If you gave them an open ended invitation and now you’re regretting it, that’s a different issue.

[Geppili]

@LadyGaGasPokerFace Great idea!

[dieselKiller]

@Maxaluna

"So it's leaving day today, it's been great catching up but back to reality! I'll make xxx for breakfast then you can set off mid-morning. "

Like Maxaluna says.

[santibaby]

@Maxaluna

"So it's leaving day today, it's been great catching up but back to reality! I'll make xxx for breakfast then you can set off mid-morning. "

Something gentler than this IMO!

[LadyGaGasPokerFace]

Also, clear the fridge of food and drink. Get the hoover out, put laundry on, get the duster out, tidy.

[MyBooksAndMyCats]

"You've been such good guests, please do come again. Do you want lunch tomorrow before you leave?"

[AriettyHomily]

It's been great, are we coming to you next year?

Having lived in a holiday location I have no tolerance for rotating cf guests anymore.

[BrightYellowDaffodil]

If you’ve told them they can stay until New Year, you can’t really be surprised if they stay until then. For future years it would probably be a good idea to give a hard “leaving date” if you have in mind a date by which you expect your guests to have left.

[iknowwheretheothersockgoes]

"What time are you heading off tomorrow? Will you have time for breakfast in the morning, or do you need to hit the road straight away?"

[Rogue1001MNer]

If you KNOW you live somewhere people like to visit and stay.
And you know you'll need some R+R time, why didn't you set a clear leaving date when you were making plans for their visit

[paintitallover]

What @WeepingSomnambulist said.

[LemonDrizzles]

@WeepingSomnambulist

"I should have been a bit more clear earlier. I was just taken aback when I heard your plans. We really need quiet family time for the new year and we just wont cope with guests staying longer. When we chatted about this, we agreed youd leave after christmas and we've already planned out our alone time so I'd really appreciate it if we could set a day for you going. How about the tomorrow/insert date here?"

• "around 2pm" don't give wiggle room for 6 pm turning into another night's stay