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Original poster

Charging Family for Christmas Dinner

222 replies

RoachPussy · 01/12/2022 15:39

My colleague told me yesterday that her sister has invited her for Christmas Day dinner but wants to charge her £20 towards the meal. She can’t believe it and has so far told her she’ll think about it and get back to her Her sister has also invited their mother who isn’t charged and two brothers who are. I can’t imagine charging a guest, especially family, I’d even go so far as telling them to just bring themselves if they asked if I wanted anything bringing. I usually cook Christmas Day but go to family every 3rd year but I don't know if I’d go if they wanted payment from me. Am I out of touch? Is this a common thing to charge family for dinner? I save through the year for Christmas gifts and food but am I the exception? Would you/do you charge and/or pay family?

OP posts:
Meggymoo777 · 01/12/2022 15:42

£20 really isn't that much for Christmas dinner and given the rising costs of everything, I personally don't think it's unreasonable. I go to my parents every year and we always plan out our shopping list in advance and divide and conquer.

bravelittletiger · 01/12/2022 15:44

I wouldn't think of it as being charged for Christmas dinner more just throwing some cash into the pot to make the cost less eye watering. It's actually likely to cost far more than £20 per person. I personally wouldn't charge like that but I would (and am) expecting people to bring stuff like one person brings the cheeseboard, another the sides etc. makes it less expensive and less pressure all round.

RobinRobinMouse · 01/12/2022 15:44

I think it's odd to ask for it as cash, we usually take all the desserts and someone else brings some drinks etc so the cost is sort of shared out.

MayISuggestSomeThickCutSteakChipsToGoWithThat · 01/12/2022 15:45

No it's crass!

PuttingDownRoots · 01/12/2022 15:45

I think if only one person has space to host everyone, and everyone wants to be together everyone chipping in to cover the cost of food is actually quite fair.

I've seen turkeys for over £100. Thats before you start on sides, drinks, desserts etc.

thesurreymum · 01/12/2022 15:46

Yes I would find it odd to be asked for payment but often have asked guests/been asked to bring something such as an item of food or drink. Probably with the current financial circumstances though I would think it's fair enough

PurBal · 01/12/2022 15:46

We normally all contribute something. So this year someone is supplying wine, another person cheese (we eat a lot of artisan cheese so will be a fair amount), another the turkey, another desserts. There’s 8 of us and the turkey is £80…

ShirleyPhallus · 01/12/2022 15:47

I think it’s fine. In our family, there are a few with much bigger houses who always end up hosting. People do bring food / drinks but tbh, if my sister was happy to sort everything and I had to just make a donation instead I’d much prefer that!

Lottsbiffandsmudge · 01/12/2022 15:47

I host every year and have for 18 years. My relatives bring a few bits. It costs me a lot of money to host. And I haven't before factored in the cost of cooking.
I don't begrudge it but if we were not in an ok place financially I would ask for more by way of contributions. £20 is not a lot.

SummerInSun · 01/12/2022 15:48

I very much doubt she is making a profit! She probably just can't afford (or not easily) to put on a super snowy good meal without a contribution.

In my family we each do a different thing - one person buys the turkey, someone else the ham, someone does a couple of veg dishes, I usually make the pudding and bring the custard and ice cream to go with it, everyone brings booze. There are 20 or so people to feed - would be totally unfair for one family to pick up the whole costs.

Sparkletastic · 01/12/2022 15:48

Charging is grim, asking for specific food and drink contributions is fine.

Mindymomo · 01/12/2022 15:49

I would happily give £20 towards Christmas Dinner that someone else has cooked. I’ve done Christmas Dinner for 30 years. My Dad used to give me £100 every year so I could get extra treats for the day. Only my Brother comes now, he usually brings 2 nice bottles of wine, chocolates and a present for the dog. My adult son pays for the turkey.

Roselilly36 · 01/12/2022 15:49

No I wouldn’t charge family, but given the times, I think it’s fair to ask for a contribution, such as wine, bring pudding etc

sneezingpandamum · 01/12/2022 15:51

Family have basically invited themselves over to mine for Xmas - it makes it significantly more expensive so I've said they need to buy the turkey and bring some nibbles

RoachTheHorse · 01/12/2022 15:52

We have family at ours for Xmas. Uncle brings the turkey, MIL brings Xmas pudding / dessert /wine. Everyone chips in something to the spread. It works for us and everyone feels like they contributed.

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 01/12/2022 15:53

If her sister's feeling the pinch I think it's okay.

PeekAtYou · 01/12/2022 15:55

No different to being asked to bring a dish or alcohol to the meal. it saves people having to cook and go out to the shop.
If it's £20 per head and young kids were being charged too then I would be less forgiving because they don't drink or eat as much as adults.

PeekAtYou · 01/12/2022 15:56

I suspect a lot of people who host Xmas secretly seethe or worry about the cost.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 01/12/2022 16:01

I think that's fair enough, as 20 quid is unlikely to cover the whole cost. Equally, being asked to bring a dish is also fine by me. Paying a price per head to include x, y and z is a bit off tho.

GenerallyGreenerGrass · 01/12/2022 16:02

We’re having Christmas Meal at my daughters and I am paying for the Turkey and Gammon which has been ordered from a local butchers.
I also help with the cooking on the day, basically we just all muck in and luckily we all get on really well.

ditherydotty · 01/12/2022 16:04

If I was invited by family I'd accept the. Follow up with how can I contribute

ApolloandDaphne · 01/12/2022 16:05

It is expensive hosting and you wouldn't get a dinner out for £20 per head. My DD and her DP hosted last year and we gave them £100 (£25 each) towards the costs. Others who came and were more local contributed by cooking parts of the meal. Surely that's how it should be done?

Sprouttreesareamazing · 01/12/2022 16:07

My adult dc spend most of Xmas week /fortnight eating with us. They contribute 50 quid each for the huge shop we do. 1 buys the turkey instead of cash! They all have ft jobs.

purplecorkheart · 01/12/2022 16:08

Maybe her sister cannot afford to host otherwise or maybe she has had her fingers burned by relatives saying that they would bring a course and then turn up with a pack of mini chocolate bars instead of dessert. Better than getting into debt trying to pay for it all.

hiredandsqueak · 01/12/2022 16:09

I host for Christmas, I don't expect any contribution but if money is an issue I don't think it's too unreasonable to ask that everyone pitches in be that contributing an item or paying for something instead. £20 won't even cover the costs of what a person eats and drinks at Christmas lunch tbh.