What to buy someone who saves EVERYTHING "for best"?

[TooWicked]

At my wits end with my mum and what to buy her. Everything gets put away for "best", only 'best' never seems to come around.

Expensive perfume has been left unused and goes off. Cashmere cardigan placed in the wardrobe unworn and now moth eaten. Posh candle remained unlit and even if it were lit now there'd be no smell from it anyway. A lovely teapot and mug stored away in the kitchen cupboard in case it gets chipped. Ugg slippers are too good to wear every day, I'm not sure they've been worn at all yet. Gift voucher for a lovely local restaurant got left until it had expired because there wasn't an occasion good enough to warrant it.

She doesn't read, do jigsaws, gardening or have any real hobbies that I can think of. And I feel it's a total waste buying anything expensive. I'm at the point of just going to buy her a load of tat from B&M.

Help please!

What does she actually do?

She's an unpaid carer for my Nan (totally her choice btw, the money is available to pay others to do some/all of it).

When she's not doing that she just potters around at home bemoaning her lot.

My mum is like this.

The only useful present I have found for her is physical photos/albums of the kids. I use the free photo apps, so don't spend loads on her presents and feel guilty. But she likes them.

That's hard. Dressing gown but an inexpensive one she will be happy to use. Everyday shoes ?
Magazine subscription?

Would she like afternoon tea out/theatre tickets if you actually booked to go with you (or someone else) it wouldn’t be wasted?

Two of the same thing! One to keep, one to use😄

Food ... that can't be kept for best !

She needs a boost to her self-esteem. So that she thinks she is worthy of using the nice things you have given her already.

Sorry, I'm no help really!

What about a voucher to have her nails done? Or some sort of treatment? Pedicure? Most expire within a year, so you'd know when it needs to be used by and could add some pressure onto her to use it?

Something with an expiry date whether that's food or tickets to an event.

Therapy.

Cash

@Reallybadidea

Therapy.

Or what about an indoor herb garden? amzn.to/3F0DJKN

@Doidontimmm

Would she like afternoon tea out/theatre tickets if you actually booked to go with you (or someone else) it wouldn’t be wasted?

^this. Take her to the theatre, then tell her she needs to look her best and its time to wear that scarf / perfume / coat she got last year

Flowers delivered once a month or so?

My DGM is like this. More homewares than John Lewis and uses the tattiest most grotty towels and bedding that most people would have turned to rags long ago.

I generally buy her wine, flowers, or a pot plant.

My mum is the same:
No chocolate
No flowers
No ornaments 'dust gatherers'
No clothes (she only likes clothes that are out of my price range and she is v v fussy too)
She will try and regift everything (to my DD)

So for the last few years I have a done a hamper (small) of food or tickets for a show that I will go to as well

Buy her a cheap candle, a cardigan and slippers from Primark and some perfume from Next.

A flower subscription is a good shout , or a terrarium of some kind .

The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning book.

Don't worry, it's not grim, it tells you to use the nice things you have, as well as not leaving a load of clutter and loose ends for those who will have to sort your house out after you've gone.

Plus flowers if she likes them and then take her out for afternoon tea/cocktails/fish and chips at the seaside or whatever you think she'd enjoy.

Yeah, my mums exactly the same. She's 81 now. She used to be happy with CDs but now I cant even get them as she streams music🤷‍♀️

Photos and albums are no good as she gives them back!

Hates flowers, only goes for local strolls with dad.
So annoying.

How about a delivery of Cook meals or similar. Nice fiod she has to eat that week?

Or plants in a planter or something? Artwork for the wall that you can hang up for her? A clock?

BarbaraofSeville

The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning book
I've been chucking stuff out of our house for years and I tell my kids that I'm doing a swedish death clean. Ds " ffs mum, the house echoes as it is and stop talking about death you weirdo!! 🤣🤣

A plant. Fresh flower subscription that gets delivered monthly. Concert/theatre tickets which are already booked so she has to go on X date x