What to buy someone who saves EVERYTHING "for best"?

[TooWicked]

At my wits end with my mum and what to buy her. Everything gets put away for "best", only 'best' never seems to come around.

Expensive perfume has been left unused and goes off. Cashmere cardigan placed in the wardrobe unworn and now moth eaten. Posh candle remained unlit and even if it were lit now there'd be no smell from it anyway. A lovely teapot and mug stored away in the kitchen cupboard in case it gets chipped. Ugg slippers are too good to wear every day, I'm not sure they've been worn at all yet. Gift voucher for a lovely local restaurant got left until it had expired because there wasn't an occasion good enough to warrant it.

She doesn't read, do jigsaws, gardening or have any real hobbies that I can think of. And I feel it's a total waste buying anything expensive. I'm at the point of just going to buy her a load of tat from B&M.

Help please!

Make her a lovely hamper full of all the things she likes - they don't have to be especially "nice" things, just stuff you know she actually uses: her usual brand of tea, jam, biscuits etc

I sent my mum a lovely bouquet of flowers.
All I got was' why are you wasting you money on them? What do I want flowers for? For gids sake what were you thinking of?
My son sends her flowers ( her grandchild, of course)
"Those flowers that George sent are beautiful. Will you thank him again, oh they are amazing"
The following week's I xant believe how lovely those flowers George sent me are"
Next week " those flowers are lasting forever!! , Tell him they are still kook great, how thoughtful"

Me🙄😮🤷‍♀️

Fresh fruit - I personally love getting those ridiculously priced pears.

Flowers

This is me unfortunately, I save things for best that never happens. Drummed into me as a child that thing were kept for best. My mum is still like it too. Ask for a new nighty every year, last years in the cupboard untouched.
It has rubbed off onto me. I go through loads of candles. I keep buy cheap rubbish ones and leave my favorite best ones un burned. I wear horrible clothes ' around the house' , ones from the 80's and 90's and have gorgeous brand new clothes that I am 'keeping for best.' I work from home and always have. Lovely perfume and toiletries, gorgeous Emma Hardie and YSL skincare, and I buy cheap stuff in supermarkets. Unfortunately this was all drummed into me as a child.

My mum is like this drives me nuts she rotates the same 3 jumpers in winter

I got her 1 of the same style jumper one year in a different colour it is there for good apparently!
This year she is getting word search books a box of biscuits and a new dressing gown her last 1 fell to actual bits so it was binned.

Something perishable would be the answer.

Or just accept that whatever you get isn’t going to be used. And see the giving as the important thing. Don’t concern yourself with the fact it’ll just sit unused in a cupboard.

@clairethewitch70

This is me unfortunately, I save things for best that never happens. Drummed into me as a child that thing were kept for best. My mum is still like it too. Ask for a new nighty every year, last years in the cupboard untouched. It has rubbed off onto me. I go through loads of candles. I keep buy cheap rubbish ones and leave my favorite best ones un burned. I wear horrible clothes ' around the house' , ones from the 80's and 90's and have gorgeous brand new clothes that I am 'keeping for best.' I work from home and always have. Lovely perfume and toiletries, gorgeous Emma Hardie and YSL skincare, and I buy cheap stuff in supermarkets. Unfortunately this was all drummed into me as a child.

Have you considered getting some counselling about this?

Oh clairethewitch70 just wear/ use your things because you really are worth nice face cream and a fancy new nightie.

Toilet roll? You can get subscription to the bamboo ones! Hopefully she won't save it all.

An alexa (with a smart plug for a lamp), all ready to plug in for her while she is in the loo on xmas day....

Oo bamboo toilet roll but she will just put it away for "good "

Yeh, my DH had those tendencies, but I've managed to change his outlook . When I first moved in with him ( decades ago ) he used to get a catalogue food hamper for Xmas every year, take the " best" bits put and put them away......... until they went out of date. He was frankly amazed that on our 1st Xmas living together I USED ALL OF THE NAICE FOOD

How about stuff that's actually meant to be displayed - nice artwork, picture frames, fancy mirror or clock, ornaments she'd like, indoor plants etc?

Mum is like this. So now I just get her flowers and chocolates and open the chocolates on the day so she has no choice but to eat them.

We bought MIL a new chopping board about 10 years ago. She hasn't started using it yet as she's still using the one she got for her wedding in 1962. Well, half of it, as it is literally broken in two with splintery wooden bits sticking out, but still perfectly good to use apparently. I give up.

My nanna was like this. It's a nightmare when it comes to gifts. What my mum and I used to do was buy new stuff we thought she'd like, cut the labels off, then said we got it at a really good price in the charity shop. She'd use it no bother after that and commend our thriftiness.

I wouldn’t normally suggest it as not everyone appreciates it but how about a charity donation in her name? Does she have a charitable cause close to her heart that she would like to support? Or something like sponsor a guide dog, the TV adverts seem to suggest that you get regular updates on how “your” pup is doing. There are several fund raising things that you can get her name engraved on for a donation, there was one for a Vulcan bomber, a RNLI one and I’m sure I’ve seen at least one hospital one and you would get a certificate that you could frame for her. If she feels that she has everything that she needs maybe she feels charities are more deserving? That way your money isn’t wasted and she doesn’t have stuff to put away.

Just get her a gift voucher for Asda/Tesco or wherever it is she shops.

My grandparents were like this, when they passed away it was so sad to see all the perfectly new and unused things they’d bought or been given going to the Salvation Army shop. They always kept things for a special day which never came. Why don’t you treat her to something she can do with you - to see a show, or go to afternoon tea? You can’t put that in a cupboard!

@LincolnshireLassInLondon

My nanna was like this. It's a nightmare when it comes to gifts. What my mum and I used to do was buy new stuff we thought she'd like, cut the labels off, then said we got it at a really good price in the charity shop. She'd use it no bother after that and commend our thriftiness.

Perfect!

@KissedintheDark

Flowers delivered once a month or so?

DH bought me this for my birthday this year. Really lovely gift, I look forward to it every month!

Just buy cheap shit she has normally. She'll probably be miffed that she hasn't got more to add to the hoard, but less miffed than if you didn't bother at all because she'll never use anything you buy her.

Or plants. Plants are good because they don't die like flowers do (well, mine don't at any rate - I know people's mileage can vary with keeping things alive). And if she doesn't like them because she's got a blackthumb rather than green fingers, maybe those godawful plastic fake plants will fit the bill as something she can look at.

Just get her a gift voucher for Asda/Tesco or wherever it is she shops.

Why have I never thought of this . saying that my mum would put it in a drawer for a rainy day 🙄

@clairethewitch70 we must be twins. DH despairs of me, I am trying and it helps that he jokes gently about it every so often.

Don't bother.