Forced to have the dog or go on holiday and fall out with everyone

[Ilovechoc12]

Hi,

We are large family (6 people - 4 kids under 10) and my dad owns a naughty yap dog that’s not well trained - treated better than the queen and it behaves like a cat hates going out in rain and doesn’t like going outside in bad weather/ rain. It’s a very ott precious well looked after dog. Very old and can be grumpy

They don’t trust this dog with anyone and kennels are the worst thing ever (according to them). So those two things are out the window. They are travelling 250 miles to be around their 3 children all live close to London. Only I’m the suitable candidate to have the dog as my sister has a dog (so precious can’t go there) brother is in the non friendly hotel.

The dog will want to go upstairs, sit on sofas and winge a lot. It’s not well trained as my dad just sits with it constantly. I’ve just had new carpets and is known to piss on carpets at times (but that’s because he’s old or marking his area but he won’t do it again 🤪🤪🤪 )

My boy has the stupid 11 plus at Xmas otherwise we would jump on a plane.

I do want a Christmas with my family and no dog

My mum has booked into a non dog friendly hotel and decided to dump the dog on me. Actually without her asking me only until I asked what is the dog doing she said o can u have it 😡😡😡.

However my 4 kids like the dog and like seeing everyone at Xmas (20 people) with all the cousins and aunty etc …. Over the Xmas season - so I have that to consider

So do you for 4 days over Xmas -

1. Accept the dog and have to get up at 6:30 to walk the dog and I absolutely hate picking up poo. It could piss anywhere down stairs. It’s barks like crazy if there are any birds / cats / fireworks in the night too.

1. Make someone stay in a dog friendly hotel. Which my mother is adamant she is staying in a particular hotel she’s booked which doesn’t allow dogs. So my dad would be by himself with the dog so this will cause friction

1. Piss off out of the country on holiday and have a massive bust up. Only issue my boy has 11 plus after Xmas 🤪 so not sure how much work he should be doing 😬😬😬

It’s stressing me out - we don’t have a dog as we don’t want one and get dumped with this one 😡 but now I’m guilted into we looked after your kids a lot when they were younger so can you help us 😡😡😡😡

What would you do?

Thank you xxxxx

You’ve made a decision not to have a dog, that means it’s not your responsibility.

I’d do (3) but I’m not in a bit of the country where 11+ is a thing…

I'd just accept the dog and put down towels in areas it might pee. But I am a massive fan of all dogs and forgive the naughtiest, most unattractive ones of any crimes.

What should you do, or what would I do?
What I would do: put up with the dog. It's only four days and I'm a doormat. Path of least resistance. But I would involve the kids in caring for the dog so I'm not stuck doing all the walking and poo wit no assistance.
What you should actually do: just say no. This is not your problem to solve. Say no, and that's that.

Also, I am amazed at the idea of an 11 yr old studying for an exam over Christmas. Is that really something that everyone does? I've not lived in UK for decades.

Just have the dog, it's only for a few days. If your kids like the dog let them look after it.

It’s not your dog. It’s not your responsibility to sort out its care. If you don’t want it in your house, just say no. It’s your home, you’re entitled to your boundaries.

You son shouldn't need to do constant 11plus revision over Christmas. So go on holiday if that works.

I'd just sat no to the dog and let dps sort it out. It's their dog and their responsibility

2

why should you have their dog?

2 - not clear if your mum and dad are together but surely the dog owner just needs to book into a dog friendly hotel (but what will happen to the dog during the day?).

Maybe try to find a dog friendly hotel close to you?

Say no dogs. It's their dog their responsibility to sort out.

Lock the fucker in the kitchen

(The dog that is)

In your shoes, I would tell my parents I’m not having the dog, it’s their responsibility and they didn’t bother to check with you.

Just be clear and firm, there is no way I would tolerate guests bringing a dog .... tough if that means you fall out. It is not your responsibility to care for someone else's dog.

Buy a kennel for the dog 🐶 and stick it in the garden 🤣

To be honest I'd be fuming

Their dog their responsibility- if it's that precious they need a dog friendly hotel or air b n b

Given the dog behaviour circs and you have absolutely no obligation to have the dog in the house - just say no and stand by it. There's no way a dog would be coming into my house.

Crate the dog at night

Absolutely do not take the dog! Your parents are responsible for their pet not you. Do it this year and whose to say the same won't happen next year and the year after. Set your boundaries - no dogs in your house!

Suppose if we go on holiday it will be for 9/10 days so quite a long time so would need to revise at some point …..

It’s my dads dog and both parents are together …..

The kids would help but are all too young to take it for a walk so either me or my husband will need to take it….. and it only like to walk for 10 mins every hr not like a big walk and then it sleeps…..

I’ve accept the dog say times - I don’t want it over night.

You don’t want the dog and you’re already stressing out about it. It was very rude and unfair of your family to assume you would have it without asking when they’re not prepared to do anything else about it eg pay for a dog hotel or pay for a dog friendly hotel.

This suggests that actually they don’t want the dog at Christmas and instead of having any grief themselves are dumping that grief on you.

As for the 11+ can your DC not do some work away, go somewhere with wifi? realistically how much work over Christmas will he do?

Either say no and stand firm or book a non dog friendly holiday. Not your circus not your monkeys. Beware the FOG, Fear, Obligation & Guilt.

Your dad will likely book a dog friendly hotel and your Mam will have to decide if she wants to stay with her husband & dog or not.

Can’t help thinking she’s deliberately booked a non dog friendly hotel.

Just to add, you already have 4 kids to look after. It's really inconsiderate of your mum to also MAKE you look after their dog too. Honestly I don't know how you put up with this crap

Go on holiday and take a practice paper for every day for your son. We just had our children do a few papers over the Xmas holidays.

We have dogs but id never say yes to having anyone else's dog.

I would not have a dog in my house