Forced to have the dog or go on holiday and fall out with everyone

[Ilovechoc12]

Hi,

We are large family (6 people - 4 kids under 10) and my dad owns a naughty yap dog that’s not well trained - treated better than the queen and it behaves like a cat hates going out in rain and doesn’t like going outside in bad weather/ rain. It’s a very ott precious well looked after dog. Very old and can be grumpy

They don’t trust this dog with anyone and kennels are the worst thing ever (according to them). So those two things are out the window. They are travelling 250 miles to be around their 3 children all live close to London. Only I’m the suitable candidate to have the dog as my sister has a dog (so precious can’t go there) brother is in the non friendly hotel.

The dog will want to go upstairs, sit on sofas and winge a lot. It’s not well trained as my dad just sits with it constantly. I’ve just had new carpets and is known to piss on carpets at times (but that’s because he’s old or marking his area but he won’t do it again 🤪🤪🤪 )

My boy has the stupid 11 plus at Xmas otherwise we would jump on a plane.

I do want a Christmas with my family and no dog

My mum has booked into a non dog friendly hotel and decided to dump the dog on me. Actually without her asking me only until I asked what is the dog doing she said o can u have it 😡😡😡.

However my 4 kids like the dog and like seeing everyone at Xmas (20 people) with all the cousins and aunty etc …. Over the Xmas season - so I have that to consider

So do you for 4 days over Xmas -

1. Accept the dog and have to get up at 6:30 to walk the dog and I absolutely hate picking up poo. It could piss anywhere down stairs. It’s barks like crazy if there are any birds / cats / fireworks in the night too.

1. Make someone stay in a dog friendly hotel. Which my mother is adamant she is staying in a particular hotel she’s booked which doesn’t allow dogs. So my dad would be by himself with the dog so this will cause friction

1. Piss off out of the country on holiday and have a massive bust up. Only issue my boy has 11 plus after Xmas 🤪 so not sure how much work he should be doing 😬😬😬

It’s stressing me out - we don’t have a dog as we don’t want one and get dumped with this one 😡 but now I’m guilted into we looked after your kids a lot when they were younger so can you help us 😡😡😡😡

What would you do?

Thank you xxxxx

The best option for you @Ilovechoc12 is your fix this once and for all and tell them “your dog, your responsibility, your problem” sure they won’t like it, but then getting shitty with you is only because they want you to do what you’re told. They have absolutely no interest in your feelings so don’t even blink, say no, mean it.

But option 3 is the easiest way out, your dc can do a bit of reading here and there - he’s not likely to be revising much over Christmas anyway- no matter where he is.

Ignore the people fixating on revising over Xmas. My dds did a bit at this age and it was totally fine. Say no about the dog and enjoy your Xmas.

Do you have a room without carpet that you could shut it in? Kitchen maybe?
Perhaps if refusing to take the dog would cause an argument, you could agree, but say you'll have to shut it in the kitchen overnight and at other times if it can't be guaranteed not to pee. Put a stairgate to stop it going upstairs.
They might reconsider if princess is not getting VIP treatment.
Btw I think imposing a dog on someone with 4 young children is incredibly selfish of them.

Just say calmly that you don't want the dog for x, y, z reasons, it's their dog and they will have to look after it. Rinse and repeat.

I would do number two.

I have someone that comes to my house to look after my animals when I go away. Much nicer for the dogs.

Book a kennel and say if the dog arrived at your house it's going straight there

You really need to just say no. They are taking the piss. Cheeky fuckers wanting you to have a piss and poo generator. They need to book a different hotel.

Surely your Dad can book into the dog friendly hotel ?? The fact that your mother doesn't want to stay there isn't your concern.

Let your son have some free time over Christmas - surely kids don't have to study for it every day .

Just say no OP!

Their dog, their problem

Option 4 - find one of the dog fan posters on MN and let them have the animal, and deal with the getting up early, pissing on carpets and the rest of it.

No way would I be having this animal in my house. Wouldn't care if it caused a fall out.

The dogs not your responsibility. I'd hate cleaning up after it and walking it throughout the Xmas holidays. They should change their hotel to a dog friendly one. I'd go on holiday if its affordable. Make sure your son brings his revision tools with him.

When you cave as it sounds like you will, you will need a biological cleaner to get the smell out of your carpets to break the proteins down. When Ddog was a puppy, I kept a watered down solution of Ariel bio in a spray bottle ready.

There are plenty of dog friendly hotels so tell your parents to find one. It would be an absolute no from me. My inlaws dogs who were 'trained' would be found scenting round my house , bright yellow urine dribbling on the cream carpets. Which you couldnt get out with cleaning.

I am shocked your mum just assumed you would be having her dog without even asking. Are you the passive one in the family that does what she is told whilst secretly seething.

@cultkid

Lock the fucker in the kitchen

I was going to say tie it up in the garden and leave it there.

Why would you have to walk it, and clean up its accidents?

Your parents bring the dog, your parents look after it, surely?

Number 2.

I think it was with four DC under ten and a full time job and random other stuff happening that I flipped from trying to accommodate everyone and found my "fuck off" switch. I think at the time I was so busy juggling that like most women I hadn't even realised how much I was bending myself to accommodate others, even when it was ridiculous.

From observation most women not born with it find their switch around about that stage when all aspects of life collide and one thing which seems quite modest triggers the reaction.

Find your "fuck off switch" OP. Its transformative. Its also quite amazing how all those people who take offence the first time just stop taking you for granted and carry on normally (and presumably dump on someone else).

Crate dog in kitchen overnighr and borrow a couple of stairgates to block off bottom of stairs and kitchen to stop it going into new carpet areas it might piss in. I'm a dog owner and furious on your behalf!

This is so rude of your parents. They need to organise suitable care for their dog and not just assume you will do it. My parents are happy to look after our two dogs when we go away but I would never just assume it was a given. Between Christmas and New Year we have found a dog friendly Air B&B and we are basing ourselves and the dogs there near my husbands family. They can then come to us and we aren't worrying about anything at all. There are so many Air B&Bs around now I'm sure they could find one suitable!

Why should the OP go to the expense of a dog crate and stair gates? The answer is no.

Say you will have the dog but it will not be allowed in any carpeted rooms. Get a baby gate and only let the dog in the kitchen/utitily room, wherever it can cause the least damage.
You parents may decide that is not acceptable for their precious dog and book somewhere more dog friendly

Very telling that your mum has already booked a dog-free hotel.

It's a no from me.

Your parents are being very selfish.

A prima donna dog that isn't house trained should be put in kennels.

I'd refuse and tell my parents that if they don't put it in kennels, they're not coming to mine.

I would take the dog and put it in a cage at night to sleep and they don't like it tough luck

That way if it toilets it's confined to the cage rather than your floors