Forced to have the dog or go on holiday and fall out with everyone

[Ilovechoc12]

Hi,

We are large family (6 people - 4 kids under 10) and my dad owns a naughty yap dog that’s not well trained - treated better than the queen and it behaves like a cat hates going out in rain and doesn’t like going outside in bad weather/ rain. It’s a very ott precious well looked after dog. Very old and can be grumpy

They don’t trust this dog with anyone and kennels are the worst thing ever (according to them). So those two things are out the window. They are travelling 250 miles to be around their 3 children all live close to London. Only I’m the suitable candidate to have the dog as my sister has a dog (so precious can’t go there) brother is in the non friendly hotel.

The dog will want to go upstairs, sit on sofas and winge a lot. It’s not well trained as my dad just sits with it constantly. I’ve just had new carpets and is known to piss on carpets at times (but that’s because he’s old or marking his area but he won’t do it again 🤪🤪🤪 )

My boy has the stupid 11 plus at Xmas otherwise we would jump on a plane.

I do want a Christmas with my family and no dog

My mum has booked into a non dog friendly hotel and decided to dump the dog on me. Actually without her asking me only until I asked what is the dog doing she said o can u have it 😡😡😡.

However my 4 kids like the dog and like seeing everyone at Xmas (20 people) with all the cousins and aunty etc …. Over the Xmas season - so I have that to consider

So do you for 4 days over Xmas -

1. Accept the dog and have to get up at 6:30 to walk the dog and I absolutely hate picking up poo. It could piss anywhere down stairs. It’s barks like crazy if there are any birds / cats / fireworks in the night too.

1. Make someone stay in a dog friendly hotel. Which my mother is adamant she is staying in a particular hotel she’s booked which doesn’t allow dogs. So my dad would be by himself with the dog so this will cause friction

1. Piss off out of the country on holiday and have a massive bust up. Only issue my boy has 11 plus after Xmas 🤪 so not sure how much work he should be doing 😬😬😬

It’s stressing me out - we don’t have a dog as we don’t want one and get dumped with this one 😡 but now I’m guilted into we looked after your kids a lot when they were younger so can you help us 😡😡😡😡

What would you do?

Thank you xxxxx

I'd say no.

If you went away how long would you go for? Your son won’t need to be studying all the time, just keep up with reading and those 10 minute tests (if they still do them!) he should enjoy some time over Christmas without having to worry about it.
So I’d go away! Let the others argue over the dog

I would say no, and just keep saying no. No reasoning, no justification - just no.

Can you book a kennels near you for them? and then if they arrive with it, just take it there?

I would be absolutely furious if i said "no" and they just ignored me. Alternative: "nobody is coming to our place and that's final."

good luck, OP

Parking the dog challenge, I can’t understand why you can’t go away. Daughter took 11+ in September couple of years ago, we went away in august and she revised/did practice tests for an hour in the morning - didn’t adversely affect the holiday or the exam results.

If your parents don't want to stay in a dog friendly hotel or book the dog into kennels, they'll have to stay at home for Christmas. It's their choice to have a dog, not yours.

This ^^
"Don't guilt trip me into having your dog. You need to find someone to look after it. It isn't coming to our house"

Say you are going on holiday out of the country but don’t actually go?

We did this once to get out of having my MIL’s dog to stay!

They're not asking for a kidney. It's a dog. Just look after the bloody thing. Your parents gave you (free?) childcare. The least you can do is look after their dog.

I love dogs, have 2, but no way would I accept this pissy princess to stay in my house.
In fact if they were visiting with the dog, I would be telling them to ensure the dog has no ‘accidents’ - which less face it are the owner’s fault- and if there are any such accidents , they’d be paying for professional cleaning on my new carpets.
Over the top? Maybe, but it’s probably the reason they can’t stay in a hotel - even the dog friendly ones expect basic house training.

2. Make someone stay in a dog friendly hotel. Which my mother is adamant she is staying in a particular hotel she’s booked which doesn’t allow dogs. So my dad would be by himself with the dog so this will cause friction

The owner of the dog takes responsibility for the dog.

Where they all stay is between your mum and dad.

2 or 3. Either way, you need to tell tyem the dog is their problem. If people have dogs, they need to take responsibility for them.

I would be booking something like this www.pawshake.co.uk/home-dog-boarding/london-greater-london-england but I expect you have to book in June for Christmas! This is not kennels but dog boarding in the sitters own home. This isn't the only such service so further googling may reveal one that can take a booking somewhere, anywhere, in the greater london area. The sitter can get paid oodles to put up with the grim reality of how unpleasant this dog is. You can make up some guff about one of your kids having a serious dog allergy so you can't possibly have the dog in your home. You could arrange for some family members including your dad to meet up with the sitter for a long walk on Boxing Day. Give a humungous tip on top of the extortionate fees.

If I couldn't find a service like the above then yes I would be going away. Don't have to leave the country just don't be at home. It's only 4/5 days and that's a perfectly reasonable time for an 11+ candidate to have as down-time doing no additional work over the Christmas period. They shouldn't be doing exam prep every day anyway, kids burn out too quickly if there's too much pressure. Ok to do a bit of prep once every 3 days or so generally in the last 3-4 weeks before the exam (once a week should be fine before that) and having a slightly longer gap over Christmas will do no harm at all. They need a break. Tired overworked brains aren't particularly good at passing exams.

it’s your parents dog therefore they either need to stay in a dog friendly hotel or don’t go. Don’t feel guilty and pushed into a corner. Just say No!

Firstly don’t have the dog if you don’t want the dog, sounds like a PITA and secondly your son doesn’t need to study for 11+, if he can’t get in under his own merits he will struggle once he gets there. My kids grammar told us this, lots of parents hot-housing their children for the exam but their kids now really finding it difficult to keep up with the work once they got a place.

My parents have an untrained smelly yappy dog and if they were going to a wedding or something I would easy pop in and feed it or let it out but I absolutely 100% would not have it in the house. I might be tempted to say yes I'll have it but if its in my care it lives by my rules (an outside dog in a kennel in the back garden).

God i loathe dogs. Dog home care is a thing. Go on holiday.

Tell your parents they need to cancel the hotel they booked and rebook a hotel that does welcome dogs. Completely rude to assume you would do this! Unless you book a week away on your own and tell parents your kids will be at theirs….and make one of them piss on the floor

Don't accept the dog, there is no reason you should.
If you would go away but for the 11+, make a revision plan and bring it on holiday. With a yappy dog and 20 people about, your 11 yo will hardly be spending hours every day revising anyway.
If you prefer not to go away, you must say no to the dog. "No can do -- new carpets, you will have to sort something else". And repeat. "that just doesn't work for us". "No, that does not work, you'll have to find another option" etc .
Argh.
Will you come back and tell us what happens?

Your mother is the one that needs to book a dog friendly hotel. It is their dog. The poor dog it is not its fault but he will suffer. Dogs sense when someone does not like them.

The easiest solution for me is that they keep the dog. Bring them sometimes but it is unfair you need to stress about this.

House sit for your parents, you see them for a day handover, dog stays at their house, see your siblings after Christmas, cheap holiday.

@CinnamonJellyBeans

They're not asking for a kidney. It's a dog. Just look after the bloody thing. Your parents gave you (free?) childcare. The least you can do is look after their dog.

Why should she? Dogs aren't children. I simply don't understand why some obtuse posters don't get what a smelly and intrusive inconvenience having a dog in the house is.

And I quite like dogs.

Stop being such a doormat and say no. Their dog, their problem.

Also, why do they get to have the relaxing Christmas they want by dumping the dog on you, without even asking? If you agree this year its setting a precedent from now on...

"No, I am not having the dog, you will need to find a different solution."

Repeat ad infinitum. It's not your problem to solve.

If you go on holiday I suspect your parents will think it's a great idea to stay at yours with the dog anyway as the house will be free, it'll solve all their problems!

I admit I drop my ddog off with my parents, he's got health problems, phobias, joint problems etc and so I would have the right myself. I don't understand why they didn't book a dog friendly hotel

@Flamingoose

11 year olds studying for exams over Christmas isn't normal, no exams for 90% of school entry. Must be a private school or highly selective (only in a few places, none where I have lived)