Forced to have the dog or go on holiday and fall out with everyone

[Ilovechoc12]

Hi,

We are large family (6 people - 4 kids under 10) and my dad owns a naughty yap dog that’s not well trained - treated better than the queen and it behaves like a cat hates going out in rain and doesn’t like going outside in bad weather/ rain. It’s a very ott precious well looked after dog. Very old and can be grumpy

They don’t trust this dog with anyone and kennels are the worst thing ever (according to them). So those two things are out the window. They are travelling 250 miles to be around their 3 children all live close to London. Only I’m the suitable candidate to have the dog as my sister has a dog (so precious can’t go there) brother is in the non friendly hotel.

The dog will want to go upstairs, sit on sofas and winge a lot. It’s not well trained as my dad just sits with it constantly. I’ve just had new carpets and is known to piss on carpets at times (but that’s because he’s old or marking his area but he won’t do it again 🤪🤪🤪 )

My boy has the stupid 11 plus at Xmas otherwise we would jump on a plane.

I do want a Christmas with my family and no dog

My mum has booked into a non dog friendly hotel and decided to dump the dog on me. Actually without her asking me only until I asked what is the dog doing she said o can u have it 😡😡😡.

However my 4 kids like the dog and like seeing everyone at Xmas (20 people) with all the cousins and aunty etc …. Over the Xmas season - so I have that to consider

So do you for 4 days over Xmas -

1. Accept the dog and have to get up at 6:30 to walk the dog and I absolutely hate picking up poo. It could piss anywhere down stairs. It’s barks like crazy if there are any birds / cats / fireworks in the night too.

1. Make someone stay in a dog friendly hotel. Which my mother is adamant she is staying in a particular hotel she’s booked which doesn’t allow dogs. So my dad would be by himself with the dog so this will cause friction

1. Piss off out of the country on holiday and have a massive bust up. Only issue my boy has 11 plus after Xmas 🤪 so not sure how much work he should be doing 😬😬😬

It’s stressing me out - we don’t have a dog as we don’t want one and get dumped with this one 😡 but now I’m guilted into we looked after your kids a lot when they were younger so can you help us 😡😡😡😡

What would you do?

Thank you xxxxx

Collect/take delivery of the dog and put it straight into kennels for the 4 days. You’ll have to face The fallout later, but your parents will know you mean business. No way would I have a dog for 4 days over Christmas. Selfish and entitled behaviour from your parents.

If the dog is so precious to them, why don't they book into a dog friendly hotel? Seems very odd.

I think this isn't really about the dog though.

@DontBeADodo

Crate the dog at night

Definitely this at night, and also maybe during the day when you don’t need to take it out for a walk.

As a dog owner I would agree with previous posters who have said that it is not your responsibility to look after the dog.
We’ve had to not go to things/ make dog boarding arrangements etc over the years which is just pass and parcel of owning a dog. We would never just expect a family member to look after them.

It's fairly obvious that the DM doesn't want the dog, it's her DFs responsibility. In some ways I admire the woman for not compromising on her holiday because her DH has chosen to own a dog and not train it. Would be better if she hadn't dragged OP into the equation though.

I’m a huge dog lover and have lots of dogs, by choice. I would NOT however dream of dumping any of them with unwilling family members! My dogs, my responsibility!! I understand why they don’t want to use kennels but there are a few good companies they could use where a person comes and stays in their house to look after the dog, so they could do that?? My mum loves dogs and does dog sit for me sometimes but I wouldn’t DREAM of just assuming she’d do it, I would always ask first.

It does not sound like your family respect you at all. You are already hosting everyone and instead of thanks they dump more on you. I'd would cancel the family get together and would be having a nice quiet christmas at home. The rest of the family can make their own arrangements.

OP, you don’t have to put up with the dog pissing indoors. Look on Amazon for dog nappies/belly bands. You can get disposable ones or fa rid ones you put a lining in. If a small dog, human incontinence pads are cheaper than the liners sold for dogs. Ideally ask your parents to measure the dog, if not look for a design that is elasticated.
You’ll be a lot more relaxed if you aren’t having to watch out for indoor pees. Buy a bottle of detergent designed to get pet smells out, there’s a good one with a brush on the end. Use it quickly and you shouldn’t get lingering stains. If the dog is walked frequently indoor poos are less likely. Maybe dig out some old towels to cover where the dog is sitting

Insist they stay at a dog friendly hotel.

Tell them it’s not fair not to have asked you in advance, you have chosen not to have a dog for a reason, looking after a naughty dog is not equivalent to looking after grandchildren. If you decide to help, tell them it will be in a crate at night ( your Dad won’t like that, he’ll want to make other arrangements) STAND FIRM😁

My mother has always stayed at this place over Xmas and loves it. She is exceptionally strong willed and wants to be the leader of the pack. Previous years my sister had precious and that was fine. However last year my sister got a dog too and precious is very grumpy and starts fighting with the dog “guarding the house / guarding people”. So my dad point blank refuses for it to go there. My sister says it would be fine they can scrap a bit and then it will all be ok but my dad says no.

This dog is not social as they have acres of land and it’s so small it doesn’t need to go out for walks on their land as such …..

So precious can’t go with any other dogs. That’s the problem. Any person we know has dogs. It’s more like a cat than a dog 🤪🤪🤪🤪 doesn’t like to go outside if it’s raining or too cold and that’s when the accidents happen. However to those that say just dump / put it outside it constantly barks , shakes (so it gets picked up) and refuses to walk 🤪🤪🤪🤪. It’s a pampered pooch with a crown on its head! Crazy I know

And putting it in a kennel won’t work as they tend to drop in and you have to be up to date with jabs ? There is a beautiful carpet / sofa / tv / radio kennels round the corner less 10 mins away my mum won’t even entertain the idea. So my dad will have to look after his dog in the hotel as she says she’s not cancelling the posh one.

Going to chat with my husband this weekend as he was super late last night on what should happen 🤪🤪🤪🤪

Wayt the Op should do is not have the dog.

If she feels she must then why would she be walking it or doing any care?

Or have I misunderstood the situation?

Parents aren't actually going away & leaving the dog, they are preferring(?) a non dog friendly place.

But they need to be close enough to look after the dog all day every day surely?

There is a beautiful carpet / sofa / tv / radio kennels round the corner less 10 mins away my mum won’t even entertain the idea. So my dad will have to look after his dog in the hotel as she says she’s not cancelling the posh one.

But it’s your dad’s dog? Why is your mum saying he can’t use the kennels?

Your mum sounds much, much worse than the dog to me.

Take the family to Lapland for a few days over Christmas so unfortunately you'll be unavailable this year ........... but it won't take too much time out of the 11+ stuff. We went there (albeit before rather than over Christmas) when my son was doing his 11+ (for pretty much the same schools so feel free to pm me!) and he definitely wasn't the only one flicking through a Bond book on the plane!

I wouldn't want lots of people and also someone's badly-behaved dog to boot. The problem is your mother (as I'm sure you know.........) who won't compromise. You can potentially compromise by having the dog around a bit (with careful use of stairgates etc) so surely she can compromise on the hotel?

Precious!

Is your DM a Silence of the Lambs fan?

"Your mum sounds much, much worse than the dog to me."

As pampered & badly behaved as the dog?

When you have a dog you can't always do everything you want.

Are you the only one with kids Op?

Is that why everyone comes to you?

Why not have Christmas Day just the 6 of you & a family meet up that you don't host some other time?

@godmum56 Like what? You must be a barrel of laughs if you live your life expecting things to go wrong!

@diddl

"Your mum sounds much, much worse than the dog to me."

As pampered & badly behaved as the dog?

Well, quite.

Must stay in luxury accommodation of her choosing, to hell with anyone else’s comfort. Happy to hugely inconvenience others. Must be in control of exactly how the rest of the arrangements- which don’t impact her - are handled.

I’d not be keen to kowtow, mother or not!

[quote JML001]@godmum56 Like what? You must be a barrel of laughs if you live your life expecting things to go wrong![/quote]
I have had dogs for many years and also know lots of dog owners...have seen dogs come out of kennels with various problems due to the way they were treated in the kennels...am not saying that all, or even most, are but I certainly wouldn't just put a dog in anywhere without research and personal recommendation....and I'd be INCANDESCENT if someone did this to my dog.....mind you I wouldn't dump my dog on someone who didn't want to look after him. I honestly don't see why the OP doesn't just say no.

Wasnt there a Saki story about this?

www.eastoftheweb.com/short-stories/UBooks/Loui.shtml

Skip worrying about the SATS. Don't bother revising.

vet recently told me there was a lot of tapeworm round here, so has uped the usual 6 month medicine to every 3 months. If dog isnt vacinated regularly i'd be wary around children. There is one bug that can cause blindness in kids if they ingest it. Lots of handwashing, no dog liking their faces etc etc

OP cut the cord. You're an adult now. Be joined leader of your own pack with your DH. Him and DC are your main family now not parents. If people run round appeasing their parents until those parents die, and plenty lives into 80s or 90s now, then people aren't free to be full adults until they're past retirement age themselves. That's crazy. Be a full adult now and take charge of your own destiny and your new carpets