Have given DS Calpol & DH is angry - advice please

[MoreSunshinePlease]

DS hurt his foot a couple of days ago (nasty bruise, no bones broken thank goodness), I gave him 2 teaspoons of 6+ Calpol. DH is now really angry & says I've behaved in a detrimental way regarding DSs health because of the links to asthma.

I believe that if a child is in pain, they should have pain relief. Does anyone know about the effects of Calpol, any medical experts out there?

I feel DH had gone over the top regarding this, he has accused me of undermining him. I asked a nurse at the local hospital, she said it was fine, DH (dentist) says she doesn't know what she is talking about as he reads 'highly regarded medical publications' & is therefore more in the know.

SB - well done for phoning WA. I'm glad they are offering you support. I wish you strength and resilience in the coming weeks and months.

Well done Silverboots. I wish you strength too.

Littlefish, I did not read all the threads so may be I am missing some information about this man.

SB read through this thread and your previous one and was totally shocked and upset by what your h is doing.

I too would be really suspicious about his intentions about your ds and his passport. WA are fantastic and will help you get through this.

Sending you loads of strength too to get through this, you and your boys deserve so much more than this life.

Very sorry, did not read about the intended drilling at home. He must be mental.

Well you know what, a few years ago my son had a high fever and I was advised to bath him or use vinegar for taking his fever off. My DH did not want to do it and was all the time on line with his mum who was advising him to use belladonna. Many people say that slightly warm bath helps to decrease the high t but also puting a towel with a vinegar on forhead. He did not want to try it because his mum was against it. We ended up in hospital because Calpol did not help, the t was that high. I read on the Internet that some ingredients in Calpol give a bad reaction with beladonna. But then I was just afraid of bathing him because of the bully.
Since that time is very cautious with beladonna and is not waiting for a child to fight a high fever just with camomile or nothing. He remembers that night.

So, I am really sorry for not reading everything. Well, when the boy gets older may be he could take his father wisdom tooth without using anesthetic.

nice of you to say sorry, octavia x

The passport may have been sent off with the new application - the birth certificate similarly - please contact Aust. High Commision.

YOur DH is completely nuts, I feel for you.... Please call Women's Aid as the other Mners have suggested and look out for yourself and your DC's. My Ex was overly controlling and manipulative like your DH. Sadly I have a son with him but am always counting down the days when we no longer have to deal with him. My DS is turning 13 this year so three more years of contact and he can basically eff off.

It took me ages to leave my ex, about three years but eventually I found the courage and apart from having my children, that I would count as one of the best moments of my life. You are strong enough to do this, and if not for yourself for your DC's. It is certainly not healthy for them and you do not want them to think that sort of behaviour is normal as they will treat their DW's like that too. Good luck

Thanks for the 'childalert' info re: passports. I've filled out the form - how complicated is that?? But a relief none the less. DS passport nowhere to be seen so have cancelled that.

DH turned up to pick up DS3 from school, I really didn't think he would do that. caused a big scene, followed us home, ranted.

But have WA on the case, so moving forwards. Thank you so much for the help. Still in a bit of a muddle, but will get there. Thanks.

Make sure you send the form off immediately, SB. Do contact the Australian High COmmission - it can be done via email, they do respond fairly promptly (phoning can be a PITA because of the queuing) look here for info and contact details

You haven't said whether or not all of your H's family are Australian - is he a natural Australian citizen himself or not? It will be that much harder for him to get your DS an Australian passport and citizenship if he is not a born Australian himself (it will be quite hard anyway without your input).

Have you managed to set up an arrangement with the school so they won't release your DS to him? Did the school authorities see the scene he made? Horrible as it must have been, they now know what sort of person he is.

Safety for you and your DS is the most important consideration. Don't shrink from getting a protection order if you think one might be useful to keep your DS safe.

To go nuts at the school and follow you home ranting is a sign that he is living in a bubble of his own where normal rules of behaviour don't apply. Be very careful and don't second guess any fears you have. Don't be afraid to reach out to the police for help.

I would have thought that leaving a child in pain when you have no medical reason to withold painkillers was actually a form of neglect, personally!

Just a quickie - if you do not want your dh collecting your ds from school you will need to get a court order. I know as a teacher, that schools have no right to withold a child from a natural parent, however much of a scumbag they may be! The school may be quite willing to try not to let him take him but if he was to contest it, the school have no legal right to refuse he can take his son.

Do you have any idea what he was planning when he showed up at the school? Was it unusual for him to collect your DS? I really recommend getting that order. The missing passport and the hints about Australia would alarm a court.

any news, SB?

Silver, I've been wondering/worrying about you and just found this thread. I had tears in my eyes. I can't add anything more than the other posters but wanted to offer you my virtual support and prayers for you. Your H is evil.

YYY, ILoveGregoryHouse, I agree -- I think he has a vacuum where normal human emotions should be.

Hoping you're safe, SB.

Silverboots I have read both threads and think that you are being amazingly strong. He clearly is a complete nutter and I hope that you and your children get away safely.
Look after yourself.