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Original poster

Have given DS Calpol & DH is angry - advice please

194 replies

MoreSunshinePlease · 10/05/2010 13:37

DS hurt his foot a couple of days ago (nasty bruise, no bones broken thank goodness), I gave him 2 teaspoons of 6+ Calpol. DH is now really angry & says I've behaved in a detrimental way regarding DSs health because of the links to asthma.

I believe that if a child is in pain, they should have pain relief. Does anyone know about the effects of Calpol, any medical experts out there?

I feel DH had gone over the top regarding this, he has accused me of undermining him. I asked a nurse at the local hospital, she said it was fine, DH (dentist) says she doesn't know what she is talking about as he reads 'highly regarded medical publications' & is therefore more in the know.

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 10/05/2010 14:44

oh bugger, if you are silverboots, why didn't you just post under that name? Are you really worried about him finding your threads? WHy are you still with him - ok, I know the other thread isn't that old but this man is a LUNATIC and I do use that word in the full knowledge that there might be some who are offended (sorry in advance) but I was on silverboots't other thread and he IS.

LEAVE HIM!! PLEASE!

igivein · 10/05/2010 14:46

When did they start teaching you how to drill holes in toenails as part of dental training?

AnyFucker · 10/05/2010 14:46

< goes off to check stuff >

< prepares to apologise >

weblette · 10/05/2010 14:47

Thought the circs sounded a bit familiar.

thumbwitch · 10/05/2010 14:48

I'm guessing that he just knows how to drill holes, igivein, not specifically in toenails?

(I use a red hot needle after iceing the offending digit - works pretty effectively)

ShadeofViolet · 10/05/2010 14:49

If he has left then he has done you a favour. I read the other thread and he sounds like a knobhead who you are better off without.

thumbwitch · 10/05/2010 14:51

God yes - good point! You now have time and space to organise an escape plan ASAP - get yourself a pay as you go mobile and call Women's Aid and everyone else you can think of and work out how to get this "man" out of your life, as much as possible.

piratecat · 10/05/2010 14:51

seems like you are dealing with a very petulant man, and have lost your sense of normality, along the way.

my good god, i am really at his behaviour.

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 10/05/2010 14:55

I'm assuming he's gone to his mother's.

Take this time to think about what's going on. I think plenty of people on this thread and the other have given you their thoughts on him but only you can make the decision. He has serious problems by the sounds of things though, the attachment he has to his mother is not normal, him abandoning you whilst you were mc to go on holiday with his mother is really not normal, he appears to have no ability to empathise at all, he's controlling. Take the time to think about where you want to go now.

thumbwitch · 10/05/2010 14:55

link - petulant is such an understatement, piratecat - you haven't seen the other thread, have you?

piratecat · 10/05/2010 14:56

op, in your other thread, you saidit yourself
i think i have lost sight of what is normal.

it really really isn't normal.

piratecat · 10/05/2010 14:58

thumbwitch, just read. i am actually very shocked at reading that thread.

AnyFucker · 10/05/2010 14:59

ok, have read other thread

so this is the second time in a month he has "left" because you said/did something he wasn't happy with

I said it upthread, and I will say it again

make it permanent this time

piratecat · 10/05/2010 15:05

yes esp the needing a break bit, with his mother whilst you were going thru what yuo were going thru.

nice.

Magaly · 10/05/2010 15:10

My daughter has asthma and I give her calpol when she gets growing pains. Not a fever or a temp, just to relieve her pain.

i take nurofen when I have a headache. I don't see why children should have to endure pain when their Dad would happily take a nurofen or a lemsip. He is BU.

Magaly · 10/05/2010 15:15

MoreSunshinePlease, omg, you poor thing. Have read the entire thread now and I feel for you. I needed to have solid statistics and facts behind me before I could ever challenge my X. He considered himself a complete authority on many subjects and it was very difficult trying to reason with him. Often, things that I thought were completely taken for granted, he would disbelieve them and it would be up to me to 'prove' that something was normal or safe. It was an exhausting way to live because I did trust my own judgment and my ability to research something and make a good call on subjects that I did not know about. He treated me like an incompetent who was on the brink of making a massive life-threatening fuck up at any second. It's awful.

your husband is the problem. Not you.

Magaly · 10/05/2010 15:16

Google narcissistic personality disorder and see if it strikes any chords. It may not. You've only given us a snapshot here. But I am hearing NPD bells.

YouKnowNothingofMyVote · 10/05/2010 15:17

That man is deranged. You seem together and sensible. It's time to apply that to your relationship. It's not as though you even need to kick him out, he's already run away. Just make sure he can't run back.

His attitudes are in no way normal or healthy and I would hate to think what the DCs are learning about relationships and basic humanity from this man.

Magaly · 10/05/2010 15:20

If he's gone, change the locks

SEriously, with a man this arrogant the only way of getting rid of him is when it was HIS decision (as walking out at this point was).

You can't just ask a man this arrogant to respect your wishes. He won't ever leave because you have asked him to. If you think the relationship is over that won't count. The relationship will only be over if he says it is.

Original poster
MoreSunshinePlease · 10/05/2010 15:20

apologies for namechanging. This is the only place I can go to get some clarity. Second school run calls.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 10/05/2010 15:23

MSP...are you coming to any conclusions with all this clarity you are gaining ?

thumbwitch · 10/05/2010 15:26

it's sadly illegal to change the locks on the house if he is part owner of it.

But MSP, you must talk to Women's Aid and CAB and try to get legal advice on what to do - this is no good at all for your DSs, any of them - what kind of relationship example are you giving them? Do you want to see them thinking this is acceptable? or worse, thinking that you are of so little value that you can be treated this way, so that they start doing it too?

For your DSs' sakes, if not your own, please please do something about getting away from him. You will manage, you will cope - and you will be able to make your own decisions in the knowledge that you are completely of sound mind and brain.

whomovedmychocolate · 10/05/2010 15:39

He's clearly crackers - you need to keep him away from your DC lest they develop the same twisted attitudes

mathanxiety · 10/05/2010 15:39

'...you are married to a pathological, grandiose, child-abuser....' I would like to add psychopath to that description.

SB, or MSP, I know your circumstances from your other thread. You have added another layer of horror to an already very shocking story.

PLEASE do not even consider staying with this man. Read this again. He will only change for the worse. Nothing you do will make this man change for the better. The only thing you can do to improve your life and your children's lives is to divorce, soon, and separate yourselves as much as legally possible from him forever after. Believe me, if you leave now with only the clothes on your backs, you will be better off than you would be staying with him.

This is not about Calpol being bad for a child with asthma (it isn't if it's not Ibuprofen or aspirin based); it's about a man who wants to inflict excruciating pain on a child and has done so on his wife already -- without suffering any consequences except a verbal complaint. He wants to hurt you and your children. There is something very seriously wrong with this man.

piratecat · 10/05/2010 15:50

omg did op mean he had done the tooth thing on her without pain relief??
i feel sick.