Have given DS Calpol & DH is angry - advice please

[MoreSunshinePlease]

DS hurt his foot a couple of days ago (nasty bruise, no bones broken thank goodness), I gave him 2 teaspoons of 6+ Calpol. DH is now really angry & says I've behaved in a detrimental way regarding DSs health because of the links to asthma.

I believe that if a child is in pain, they should have pain relief. Does anyone know about the effects of Calpol, any medical experts out there?

I feel DH had gone over the top regarding this, he has accused me of undermining him. I asked a nurse at the local hospital, she said it was fine, DH (dentist) says she doesn't know what she is talking about as he reads 'highly regarded medical publications' & is therefore more in the know.

AF -- yes, but if I leap to COV's defence (whether strictly required or not) she may give me more cake...

Of course you're bloody justified! Surely all the responses you've received tell you that.

If any man was willing to leave my child in pain, when there are perfectly good and safe painkillers around I'd be getting well and truely shot.

The paracetamol thing is smoke and mirrors I think.

Sounds like he was looking for an opportunity to leave and this 'gave' him one.

Also, with all respect, he sounds like a complete tool and I imagine you're better off without the control freakery egomaniacal sadistic bell end.

i can understand a parent being apprehensive about giving calpol for a scrape on the knee, slight fall off a bike etc, but not when a child actually had treatment in hospital for an injury, to withhold in those circumstances is just plain mean.

Christ, does he give his patients pain relief, what an utter knob.

does your dh have quite a high pain threshold himself?

LK - there is more, unfortunately. I just needed some help in trying to explain this to DH. And also some reassurance that I'd done the right thing.

I honestly do think it sounds like there's something very wrong with your DH. Not just speaking figuratively -- he sounds deluded. Especially the bit about wanting to do the drilling a hole thing himself and you needing to sort out your attitude

Assuming all of this is accurate then, er, get out while you can. Your poor DS

LK...I think that concept needs testing do you ? < evil grin >

msp - don't know the best way of getting your dh to understand, sounds like he doesn't want to and has a very fixed perspective in his head about him being right and you being wrong.

you are not wrong, you totally did the right thing. are you ok?

Sorry if "get out while you can" sounds glib, btw. I recognize that it is not generally a great idea to say that kind of thing to unfamiliar people online based on one description of one incident, and normally I do not, but today I seem to have lost my self-restraint.

One other example of DH - I had to have some dental work (no pain relief) I was in a LOT of pain & I don't talk when I'm in pain. DH did his nut when we got home (after making me wait while he read his post at the surgery). He said I was being ungrateful because he was trying to help me.

I've had 3 DCs I know what pain is, he thought I was making a big deal of it. I don't cry easily, but I did then.

I don't believe this either, though it is a good one. I don't believe anything any more. Does that mean it's time to go?

"Yes, I think ALL dentists are this arrogant"

No, not all dentists are that arrogant! And I have worked with a fair few!

Yes, you get some who think they are God's gift, know more than anyone, but I don't think you can tar them all!

I am pleased that I don't work with him tho!

I've got to get the DCs now, but will read later tonight. Thanks for the advice.

if he has a high pain threshold, he will find it difficult to understand that others are unable to deal with pain to the same extent. i have a high pain threshold, dd's is very low, we have to meet somewhere in the middle, but that involves me coming down to her level, i wouldn't expect her to try and reach mine.

Assuming you're in the UK and you don't have to pay for medical care, what the fuck is his problem??
If you were concerned the toe was broken then it needed to be examined by a proper doctor, not a dentist. Unless he was planning on x-raying it himself as well, of course?
(In fairness I would have tried to deal with a blood blister under the nail myself as well, as I have done it on myself twice - but with a screaming child it would probably have been a lot harder so I would doubtless have given up and taken him to A&E like you did)

He sounds like an utter arse. Do you actually want him to come back? Is he always this much of a prick or only where the health and wellbeing of his DC are concerned?

af - circumcision without anaesthetic maybe?, that must be about the same pain level as an episiotomy

MSP...please stop now

our bullshit radars are going "ping" "ping" "ping" like billy-oh

Was it him who did your dental treatment with no pain relief?

It doesn't matter how educated/experienced he is, he must realise that dental treatments really hurt. Is this how he is with his patients?

IIWY I would be seriously considering whether I want to bring up my children with someone like this.

I hereby suspend my benefit of the doubt

< phew > that didn't last long, did it

lk...yes < strokes chin >, I was thinking maybe a vasectomy without pain relief might be just the ticket

Silverboots, relationship thread.