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Original poster

Have given DS Calpol & DH is angry - advice please

194 replies

MoreSunshinePlease · 10/05/2010 13:37

DS hurt his foot a couple of days ago (nasty bruise, no bones broken thank goodness), I gave him 2 teaspoons of 6+ Calpol. DH is now really angry & says I've behaved in a detrimental way regarding DSs health because of the links to asthma.

I believe that if a child is in pain, they should have pain relief. Does anyone know about the effects of Calpol, any medical experts out there?

I feel DH had gone over the top regarding this, he has accused me of undermining him. I asked a nurse at the local hospital, she said it was fine, DH (dentist) says she doesn't know what she is talking about as he reads 'highly regarded medical publications' & is therefore more in the know.

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 10/05/2010 15:54

Yep, piratecat, that's right. Sickening is exactly what it is. It's torture, that's what it is. Cruel. Just as well she didn't let him loose on the 6yo's toenail. Although then she could have reported him to Social Services for child abuse (except she might have been implicated for being complicit so perhaps not).

AnyFucker · 10/05/2010 15:59

why did OP let him in the first place ?

do we know that ?

PixieOnaLeaf · 10/05/2010 16:05

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thumbwitch · 10/05/2010 16:07

she hasn't said - but perhaps she is less strong on her own behalf than on her DSs - or perhaps she didn't know that he wouldn't use pain relief until he started and didn't realise how much it would hurt until it was too late? I've had dentists start procedures on me without pain relief on the principle that "we'll see how you go" - usually takes about 10 secs for them to give in and give me the anaesthetic! But they aren't barbarians, unlike OP's H.

AnyFucker · 10/05/2010 16:08

yes, unlike OP's H

AvrilHeytch · 10/05/2010 16:08

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Littlefish · 10/05/2010 16:20

I posted on your previous thread. Please contact women's aid.

They will give your lots on information on how to proceed to protect yourself and your dc.

AvrilHeytch · 10/05/2010 16:21

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Jux · 10/05/2010 16:55

As children we had a dentist who never used pain relief. He was struck off.

Can you report him to the dental equivalent of the BMA?

And get out now, please. Your older kids would probably feel happier immediately, and that might actually mean they do better in their exams. Who knows? They don't like him and avoid him as it is.

QSBooooo · 10/05/2010 17:01

Your husband sound a bit OTT. However, having said that, I would never give calpol for a bruised foot.

Getting hurt and bruised is a part of childhood, and it sets a bad example to always reach for the medicine bottle.

dittany · 10/05/2010 17:05

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thumbwitch · 10/05/2010 17:12

QSBooooo - really should have read more than the opening post...
(are you quin, by the way? masquerading? Or someone else entirely?)

QSBooooo · 10/05/2010 17:14

It is quint here.

I realize there is a lot more going on than I thought. I did read the entire thread, at least what I thought was the entire thread, but then I left the computer and dealt with the kids, before pressing Post Message. Lots of more posts since what I last saw.

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 10/05/2010 17:20

To begin with, this was a bruised foot that had to be treated in A&E by drilling through a toenail under gas & air anaesthesia to relieve pressure, not a bit of a bump.

QSBooooo · 10/05/2010 17:22

Apologies, I clearly had not read the thread properly.

Original poster
MoreSunshinePlease · 10/05/2010 21:42

DH turned up earlier tonight wanting to talk about my attitude problems, negativity etc.

So, I asked him what would have happened if he had carried out the procedure on DSs toe & it had gone wrong. We would have had to take him to hospital, the nurses may have informed social services, what would that do to his career?

He didn't say anything, I told him it was time for him to go & he did (!!!), he did the usual parting shot of obscenities, but he actually went. It's not for good, he didn't take his stuff. But it's a small step.

I'm now wondering if I'm brave enough to pack up his stuff & leave it outside? Don't know if I can go that far. But I could. Not sure. Feel like I'm on a bit of a roll (!?)

OP posts:
belledechocolatefluffybunny · 10/05/2010 21:46

This must be really, really hard for you.

Stay strong, see this for what it is. Imagine you are giving someone else advice and they are you. Take some time to digest it all and work out where you want to go from here. There are alot of people with problems, I wouldn't want to live like this though.

Magaly · 10/05/2010 21:46

I think you are going to need the help of women's aid to finish the relationship. They will come and sit with you if that is what you want. I was in a relationship with a man who behaved like your husband and he woudn't let me end the relationship. I said I was leaving him and he'd yell back "the fuck you are". I wish wish WISH I'd contacted women's Aid. I thought they weren't for people like me. Whatever I thought that meant. They are for any woman who needs help. I think you need to chat with them. They will really help you identify what is acceptable, unacceptable, abuse. And it really is very helpful for your own sanity to be able to pigeon hole behaviour. I found it helped anyway.

AvrilHeytch · 10/05/2010 21:47

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Original poster
MoreSunshinePlease · 10/05/2010 21:56

He wasn't like this before we got married.

Some of his behaviour was a bit odd, but I just put it down to being eccentric. He was mainly caring, considerate etc towards me & the DCs. We've only been married 18 months.

OP posts:
LesbianMummy1 · 10/05/2010 22:00

sorry no advice just wanted to say hope you find the strength to do whatever you need to

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 10/05/2010 22:04

From your other thread I'd say alot of his behaviour is odd. He's a real mummy's boy, it's an unhealthy relationship that they have though. I'd have kicked him out when he went on holiday with her if it were me, you have put up with way too much. He sounds a tad psychopathic (sorry)

SilverBoots · 10/05/2010 22:12

May as well post under the 'real' me.

I might be being a bit paranoid, but DH has dual nationality (UK & Australian).

He was filling out forms a few weeks ago to apply for another passport for DS. That passport would need my signature, surely? DH has been on the phone a lot to his friends in Australia, saying he needs to see them & how much he misses being there.

I'm being stupid now, but ...

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 10/05/2010 22:15

Are you thinking that he'll just take your son with him?

annh · 10/05/2010 22:23

No, you're not being stupid, given what you have said about him so far. I am meant to be in the middle of ironing but I would check online the requirements for obtaining an Australian passport. I have just applied for ds's Irish passport renewal which required both parents to sign and have their signatures witnessed so if it is something like that, it would be very difficult (but not impossible) for him to get your son a passport. However, it would be good to know exactly what the situation is. Perhaps someone on here could google for you, given that you have such a lot else to think about?

Did he talk to you about the second passport at the time when he was filling the forms in?