DD refusing MRI

[Quornflakegirl]

DD (13 in a few months) needs an MRI scan to assess anomalies of her uterus/cervix/kidneys - but is refusing to have the scan. I’ve spoken with her about why it is necessary (as has the specialist she is seeing at the hospital) but she still refuses. I feel exasperated with her as it has been a long process to get to this point and she is very “lucky” that this diagnoses has been made now while she is young. I have reassured her, shown her pictures of the scanning process and given my own personal experience but she still refuses.

Any advice/tips?

What is the reason she doesn't want to do it? Could you request sedation?

My 5 year old had a brain mri which lasted an hour. She got to watch a movie and she could see me in a mirror.

Is there a psychology service at the hospital that can help, or a play therapist?

I think you need to start by finding out why she's refusing the scan.

Though you feel she's "lucky" she won't feel like that. She's a teenager, and it's really unlucky for her.

She must feel mortified that everyone will be able to "see" such a private part of her body on the MRI.

Can she visit the hospital to see the radiograph room and the screens they use and see example images of what they see? I think it’s black and grey shapes rather than a video of her body. There may be a virtual tour or something available on line so she understands that it’s shapes in slices of her body rather than people seeing her naked etc

I’d try bribery. One she does it is there somewhere she’d like to go or something she’s like to buy?

She’s become very stubborn recently and can’t / won’t see the wood for the trees. She had an ultrasound of her uterus and abdomen which, in my opinion, is more “embarrassing” than a MRI so I doubt it’s because she is “mortified” about her private parts as pp put it. It’s so difficult because this is going to have future knock on effects on her health and even possible reproduction one day. She is a bright girl and understands the procedure and what is medically wrong with her but is still being very obstinate about it all. She won’t give me reasons, just refuses.

She can go feet first into the machine if claustrophobia is an issue. There's nothing embarrassing about an MRI. She doesn't have to undress, she can wear her clothes or a gown. I would just have it booked and go tough love on her. There are much worse procedures!!

I wish I could sockmate but it would be a matter of me physically dragging her in kicking and screaming. She also taller and stronger than me now. I really am at a loss.

Id do whatever I had to. Grounding, no pocket money, removal of Xbox... whatever works. She needs it and she has to be made to have it 🤷‍♀️

I'd do massive bribe.

Have they brought a psychologist in? Is her refusal the only way for her to have control in this situation?

Could if be that she’s worried about the outcome of the scan rather than the actual scan? Is there someone at school she trusts who could talk to her?

No chance she's hiding a pregnancy is there?

Oh that's really tricky without knowing her reason!

How did she find the ultrasound?

Could she be afraid of hearing the results and it becoming an undeniable fact what's wrong with her? Rather than the process of the scan?

If so, some reassurance about what comes next might help. I obviously have no idea what may come next, but things like reassuring her that things will go at her pace afterwards, that she'll be involved in decisions, that agreeing to the MRI doesn't automatically mean she's agreeing to any other procedures, etc.

Did the specialist suggest anything to you?

Will she talk to you at all about it? Nodding or shaking her head if you ask questions?

I also wondered if she was scared of the outcome more than the actual procedure although an MRI at any age is daunting.

She most definitely not pregnant.

She was absolutely fine with the ultrasound, has been fine giving various samples of blood for testing, given urine samples, had various X-rays and has had a few specialist appointments. Just suddenly, out of the blue she is refusing the MRI. When I bring it up she screams her refusal so I’ve left it for now. I am expecting the date through the post any day now as her follow up appointment to discuss scan results has already come through.

I think, the news of what could be wrong with has shaken her as there are numerous anomalies that can occur because of this condition she has. It is a lot for a young girl to take in, I understand that but it’s still very frustrating.

I don’t know why she is refusing but I’ll give you my view: it is a scary procedure. It feels very different from a blood test or ultrasound scan. It’s not quick and you don’t have someone holding your hand physically.
Talk to her, it seems that you were a bit dismissive of her fears at the beginning and now she just refused point blank as she didn’t feel confident to express her concerns to you.

Has she heard/read some horror stories about them? I know before I had one people were very keen to tell me how awful they are. Has she had something similar she just needs reassuring?

Ah that makes sense. If you can find a way to sort of mentally take everything else off the table except the scan, and reinforce that she will have choices in what happens next, she won't have to deal with it all at once, anything else will go at her pace etc? (If that's true.)

I'm an adult (so had more control of what happened in my medical care) and I can relate to feeling so awful about what tests were going to confirm that I'd rather not have had the tests or known for sure. It is difficult if you feel that agreeing to a scan means you'll be pressured to agree to something else and then something else and then something else.

Identifying the ways where she will have choices and control afterwards may help it feel more tolerable for her.

Plus bribes / planning something nice for the days or weeks afterwards that she can look forward to. (I do that for myself to bribe myself through tough medical things!)

MRI is magnetic rather than radiation, so children are usually allowed someone to stay in the room with them. As long as that person follows all the same rules about not wearing metal, doesn't have a pacemaker, etc etc.

Have you bribed? What does she want the most ?

it worked for Ds13 he just had brain scan!

Another one for massive massive bribe.

i don’t have a teen so don’t know how the following would go down, but…don’t tell her the date? Just act like it’s a normal consultation at the hospital if she’s not likely to make a scene if there are authority figures present

Can you ask her doctor to talk to her about the process, as she's less likely to just scream at him or her and will hopefully engage. It's probably better if you leave the room while the doctor talks to her.

If she's still refusing the MRI, and refusing to say why, I think you have to ask the doctor for sedation.

She needs to grow up!
If she has something that can get worse, she can die. Or at best, become very unwell. Does she like that idea? Well it’s an option if she carries on.
Yes, it is normal to be nervous of medical tests. Nobody likes them. But the alternative is far worse.
So sick of hearing about children ruling the roost. Sorry OP, you have a right one on your hands. Not your fault - you sound like you have done your best.

Is it something that is absolutely necessary now or could it wait until she is older and has a better understanding?

I think tricking her would be a very bad idea and she would lose her trust.