DD refusing MRI

[Quornflakegirl]

DD (13 in a few months) needs an MRI scan to assess anomalies of her uterus/cervix/kidneys - but is refusing to have the scan. I’ve spoken with her about why it is necessary (as has the specialist she is seeing at the hospital) but she still refuses. I feel exasperated with her as it has been a long process to get to this point and she is very “lucky” that this diagnoses has been made now while she is young. I have reassured her, shown her pictures of the scanning process and given my own personal experience but she still refuses.

Any advice/tips?

This is ridiculous.

How would you 'make her go'? You can't make some enter an MRI tube.

You have to lay still to get an image.

I think whatever it is that is scaring her she is not going to tell you, or the consultant. Maybe ask if there is a friendly approachable nurse/ technician in the mri dept who would be willing to talk to her and see if they can find out what the issue is. You would have to approach this carefully, maybe as

“a compromise that will not tie her into agreeing to something but making sure she is making an informed decision.”

Just sotted your update! Oh poor lamb, she must have felt mortified to think that you were expecting her to be naked! No wonder she refused. Glad it is sorted.

@Quornflakegirl good news she's agreed to go, well done.

It can be a good idea to practice laying still or at least discuss it.

Good luck!

Sedation is an option where someone can't stay still.

How will you force a child to even go to the hospital?

Yes, at 12. Not really at 14 onwards. We worked as a team, with advice from Moorfields as needed, to save my eyesight, without wrecking my kidneys, causing osteoporosis etc, whilst trying to fit around exams etc where possible. Lots of children become experts in their own condition. Look at kids with diabetes, allergies and cancer. We grow up fast, just like kids who are carers etc.

Escalate as appropriate. What usually happens when someone who is not competent to make a medical choice physically refuses care they've had assessed as necessary?

You see the fact that you're even talking about a situation where a parent would say you're having this medical procedure you need and a child have to be forced to do it is totally foreign to me. These dynamics between parent and child just don't exist in my personal life. Many dynamics do, but not this.

I see it at work, though. We're having to consider MASH referrals due to these dynamics with older children in the household and the impact on the new baby and postnatal mother. Not that this OP seems near that situation.

Because if you were competent at 13, you're not going to lose competency at 14, and that would be documented.

@Quornflakegirl Another poster mentioned this might be a control issue. I agree. It's likely not fear of the procedure. She's probably refusing because she fears the results, as they will require further treatment. Even though it's too much for her to handle at the moment, you're right- she needs to have this done now. Is there a support group or counselor for patients with her diagnosis? She needs someone trained to help that has no skin in the game.

I'm very sorry for the anxiety this is causing you and your DD. I hope there are positive results or treatments soon.

She isn’t just “a child” though. She is a teenager. She is of an age where competency is possible so to say you just put your foot down is not the way to deal with it.

Having raised a disabled child, who was treated many times by several HCPs including several surgeries from a young age, by the time she was 13, it was pretty much left to her to make decisions. She has never been through any assessment for Gillick, but it was clear from about the age of 7 or 8 she had a good grasp of what was going on. She had a major surgery aged 9, we largely allowed her to make the decision of whether to go through with it. The post surgery rehab was fairly brutal and if she hadn’t been on board with it there would have been no point in having the procedure. When she was 12 she had further surgery and her consultant explained it all to us and asked her directly if that what she wanted. At 15 she makes all her decisions now.

OP did exactly the right thing and dealt with it perfectly.

All medical staff assess children for Gillick competency if they are consenting for themselves. You can also request this to be done in a more formal setting where it's literally about assessing their capacity.

Remember, if you're saying that a 13 year old should be automatically seen as competent because they're 13 and might be, youre saying that children can make all kinds of decisions about their health and their bodies.

A 13 year old is a child.

Please read the OPs update. All sorted.

OP the only stipulation is no metal. I recently had an MRI wearing leggings, a t shirt, a bralette type bra (pull on thing, hardly contained anything 🤦🏻‍♀️) and pants. Even kept my socks on. Just had to confirm no metal

Last time I had an MRI I couldn't wear an underwired bra - so maybe taking her to get a nice crop top if she doesn't have one would also help?

Sending you and your daughter best wishes for the scan @Quornflakegirl . I hope it goes well. Keep talking, who knows, maybe the Starbucks trips will be where you keep going to chat this stuff through? Neutral venue, plus cake! If she does turn out to have a condition that needs surgery etc, I remember feeling very angry that my body had 'let me down' as it were. And I fear my poor mum got the brunt of it along with a fair few 'you haven't got it so you don't know what it's like'. But we got there in the end. Do reach out to any relevant charities etc for support for both of you if applicable.

Excellent news she has come round to the scan!

Make sure she wears clothes without metal so crop top rather than bra, leggings or jogging bottoms not jeans or trousers with metal buttons, plain T shirt without printing on so no risk of metal in printing.

Good Luck for your daughter. 🌸

Worth mentioning that you need to avoid any sportswear with reflective strips or patches (in case metallic threads have been used).

I am glad she did come round. My DS has had multiple MRI and CT scans recently (he was hit by a car crossing the road, he's absolutely fine but not surprisingly we were all a bit worried).
I think she does deserve a massive treat afterwards though!

And you believe the professionals would do this? How would you get the 13yo to comply with sedation - you are asking the health team to force that for a diagnostic procedure. There isn't an identified risk to life so it wouldn't get done.
You're living in a parallel universe.

It depends on what they might need to diagnose. But no, in my world you'd just tell a kid that they need to have it done, alleviate any fears and move forwards.

Yeah, that's a nice theory.

If a kid refuses, really refuses, it gets more tricky.

If it helps, I wore a t shirt, leggings and wireless bra and knickers for mine. I’ve had so many I have an MRI outfit
Tell her she can wear fluffy socks too, my feet get cold!

No it doesn't, you just tell them you'll be escalating it so they can be fully assessed for their competence, and if they're deemed incompetent and still refuse, they'll be forcibly sedated so it is done. As I said, you guys ramp with your kids too much. This is why they're out there doing all sorts to themselves. Learn to say no, you're doing it, and mean it.

It starts from when they are small. If you believe your baby gets to tell you when they need their nappy changed or what clothes they'll wear outside, you'll have a teen that laughs in your face when you tell them to go to school.

I'm glad it's sorted, I was going to suggest it sounds like she has gleaned a little bit of knowledge and that knowledge is incomplete or incorrect either about the process of the MRI or the timelines for afterwards. There's a lot of misinformation out there and that can be scarier than reality.

Maybe a note for the future when a Dr recommended a treatment or procedure to ask them to explain to her what it will entail, what they are expecting to see and what that will mean for her. I remember being in a and e with my sister who was 16 at the time and the Dr said she needed to do a rectal exam she said ok but didn't actually know what a rectal exam was and was taken by surprise! She was ok about it but it taught me that can you explain what that is is a very important question