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MNers without children

This board is primarily for MNers without children - others are welcome to post but please be respectful

Original poster

Help me, I’m wavering!

137 replies

tinkersfig · 30/11/2025 12:55

I’m 38 and seem to be having the hormonal surge for a last chance hurrah.

I know that being a mum would make me ill, mentally and physically, but seeing pregnancy announcements and tiny babies (which I do love) on social media is pulling at my cold heart strings.

my mind is wandering to a fantasy of big family Christmas’s, tiny hands and even an adult daughter!

My main reason for being child free is knowing I could not cope with a disabled child, and I feel
like unless you’re whole heart is in it, probably best not to. But by god! Today my ovaries (what’s left of them at my age) are screaming at me!

OP posts:
EmpressaurusKitty · 07/12/2025 18:47

tinkersfig · 07/12/2025 18:37

They might come back when I’m ovulating again in 2 weeks time, who knows!

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At least next time you’ll know they can be safely ignored!

Original poster
tinkersfig · 07/12/2025 18:51

EmpressaurusKitty · 07/12/2025 18:47

At least next time you’ll know they can be safely ignored!

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100%

OP posts:
cucumberpeach · 07/12/2025 19:09

TheDogAteTheElf · 07/12/2025 18:19

😂 It’s almost like some of these threads are just to wind people up.

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People are allowed to post about feelings that turn out to be fleeting, you know.

Blizzardofleaves · 07/12/2025 19:47

TamikaS · 06/12/2025 13:56

That's not for you to dictate that I'm searching for negativity and confirmation bias if it helps me with my regret of having children. Just because it's a negative topic, doesn't mean it's a negative outcome for me personally to read about it.

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ummm, it was just an observation. We all see life through our own lens.

TamikaS · 07/12/2025 19:48

Blizzardofleaves · 07/12/2025 19:47

ummm, it was just an observation. We all see life through our own lens.

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It wasn't an observation. You were being nasty to someone struggling. I'm obviously not happy with my life choices if I regret them so it was unnecessary to say. We all cope in our own way and that's mine.

BruFord · 07/12/2025 21:21

tinkersfig · 07/12/2025 17:29

Ok I’m back to my usual, child free, self. I have a beautiful niece and a new baby nephew and I am quite happy to hand them back to their mothers after I’ve had cuddles 😂

That’s good that you’ve realized that it’s just hormonal @tinkersfig. Ignore them!

Blizzardofleaves · 10/12/2025 19:18

TamikaS · 07/12/2025 19:48

It wasn't an observation. You were being nasty to someone struggling. I'm obviously not happy with my life choices if I regret them so it was unnecessary to say. We all cope in our own way and that's mine.

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You have children you regret and you go on to Facebook rather than having therapy and getting support? Your children need you to do something beyond a search for more negativity, and sitting on the child free board. It’s worrying.
i am kind of lost for words, and hope you are okay

TamikaS · 10/12/2025 21:33

Blizzardofleaves · 10/12/2025 19:18

You have children you regret and you go on to Facebook rather than having therapy and getting support? Your children need you to do something beyond a search for more negativity, and sitting on the child free board. It’s worrying.
i am kind of lost for words, and hope you are okay

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Who said instead of counselling? Facebook have groups the same way Mumsnet do, you can discuss things with people and get advice and support and a place to vent.

I also don't sit on the childfree board, this thread came up in active.

But thank you for your concern.

Blizzardofleaves · 11/12/2025 12:33

TamikaS · 10/12/2025 21:33

Who said instead of counselling? Facebook have groups the same way Mumsnet do, you can discuss things with people and get advice and support and a place to vent.

I also don't sit on the childfree board, this thread came up in active.

But thank you for your concern.

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You are welcome 🙂

Butterfly1728 · 11/12/2025 22:21

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 30/11/2025 23:20

The thing is, there are no guarantees no matter what you do.

It is undoubtedly true that some child free people bitterly regret not having had children when they are older because they are lonely. I have seen this in my own extended family, and it's very sad to witness.

But equally, some people who did have children are also very lonely - either because their dc don't bother with them or have gone NC, or because they live too far away, or in some cases, because they have sadly predeceased their parents etc. I know one poor woman who lost both of her sons in road accidents, for example. And I know another elderly lady who sadly lost her only child to cancer.

There are no guarantees for any of us. Whether we have children, or whether we don't, we can't possibly know exactly how things are going to pan out in either scenario. This is why it's better to make decisions for positive reasons and not out of fear. Allowing fear to dominate is much more likely to lead to regrets in my opinion, regardless of which way you eventually decide to lean.

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This is incredible advice and coming from a 43 child free woman who’s ovaries have a tendency to scream now and then, it makes sense!

Blackberryandcherry · 14/12/2025 18:04

I haven’t managed to read the entire thread but just wanted to drop by and say I am the same age as you and feel exactly the same.

I think Christmas is especially difficult as it’s easy to romanticise the idea of a family, and all my friends seem to have such a wonderful festive time with their young children.

I definitely don’t want children but I do every so often get a niggle which I can’t always shake. I also definitely won’t change my mind either, I know deep down that parenting isnt for me.

Blackberryandcherry · 14/12/2025 18:08

Strawberriesandpears · 30/11/2025 21:26

I am in a similar situation to OP and fear of loneliness in the future is really getting to me. But then most people say that this isn't a good enough reason to have a child, and I think they are probably right. But it is still scary.

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This is exactly my worry too..probably my only one if I’m honest but I keep telling myself that families fall out, move away etc so even parents can end up lonely.

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