So relieved I didn’t have children

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Do any other child free by choice women experience this sweeping relief from time to time? I’ve just got back from a holiday with several family children who are beautifully behaved and great company but whose parents were trapped in never ending arguments about who’d do what and who could have time to relax whilst the other minded the kids. It led to several tense atmospheres.

I know not all parents argue but I’ve got home with such an overriding sense of relief that I made the decision not to have kids.

Because anyone can access it and it’s interesting?

🤣👍

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So people who have children go to heaven regardless, but people who don’t have to earn extra brownie points to get there? Even if they didn’t choose not to have children?

I understand being interested, I don’t understand the need to tell us we’re wrong. Read and learn if you want but our feelings aren’t up for debate.

Asked DH and heaven lies beneath the feet of the morther doesn't mean mother goes to heaven, it means children go to heaven if they respect her.

I have no idea by what you mean by 'who's bought the premium', but I can see you seem to struggle a bit with literacy so I don't want to press the matter.

I'm sure Mother Teresa is rotting in hell because she didn't have children. 🙄

She will like it better in hell, she won't have to worry about bumping into Rose West when she dies because she'll be in heaven.

Again I did not say that. Learn to understand rather than assuming

You quite literally did even if you didn't mean to, unfortunately

Some of the comments on this thread are wild.

I’m sorry for all the women who wanted children and it didn’t happen.

Fairplay to the child free women who decided motherhood wasn’t for them. It’s a 100% valid choice, and sensible in many ways.

I have one teen conceived after years of fertility struggles. They are amazing and I love being a mum. But so much of my brain space is taken up with worry that gets worse as they get older imo.

I have friends who are parents and those that are childfree. My childfree friends lives are fab and they tell me they don’t regret not having children (we’re all early- mid 40’s). Perhaps some of that is down to our demographics as we are all professionals with good careers, so my friends have money which provides choices.

My dd will not be responsible for looking after me when I’m old. I feel very strongly about that particularly as she is an only child. No child owes their parents that.

I am not a better person because I had a child and my bf didn’t. She’s the opposite of selfish- a generous, lovely, funny, interesting and intelligent person that I love being around.

we should support all women in the choices they make and be mindful of those whose choice was taken away.

Such a good post @sundayvibeswig22
I could have written it as well. Older parent due to infertitlity and so many worries when DD was a teenager.

I was ambivalent about having children anyway and am not at all broody or maternal, so I completely understand why many women don't want to have children. DD is adamant that she doesn't want any and I'm absolutely fine with that.

I wouldn't call it 'relief' exactly because I knew I'd never want children when I was a child myself - as in I wasn't on the fence and might change my mind when I got older. I see children doing smart, funny, brilliant things and I see them at their worst behaviour and it's all just the same to me. Having them was never going to happen however they come.

I could have written this myself. Also, I'm bemused about who 'society' is, because this idea that 'society' disapproves of or will judge the child-free just seems to be banded about with no real thought. There is no-one in 'society' who has disapproved of me throughout my life, asked who will look after me when I'm older, told me I'll change my mind. No-one cares. They have their own lives to think about. Next time you want to suggest that 'society thinks this or that', please try and work out who you're actually talking about. Is it just your Mum, or that odd man in accounts? Or is it, shock horror, no-one at all. I've haven't lived under a rock all my life but no-one (let alone a whole society) has had anything to say about the matter.

Lot of people have main character syndrome. Agree, the truth is no one really cares about others choices. Child free or otherwise!

It also winds me up when people with kids say “I admire the child-free being brave enough to make that choice!”

That would wind me up as well.

That comes across as a passive aggressive "I'm jealous because your life is unfettered by children and you can be as spontaneous as you like."

There is nothing "brave" about deciding not to have children. In fact I think having children is brave. I say this as a parent.

I don’t think having children is “brave”. It’s a choice you make, but it’s not brave.

I don’t think not having children is “brave”. It’s a choice you (may) make, or it’s something you don’t have a choice in.

I think the thing that irritates me a bit is that people seem to think that those without children have lives based on the movies - spontaneous, carefree, designer wardrobes, tonnes of holidays, meals out all the time. It’s a cliché and so far removed from my experience!