Anyone else sometimes get a wave of relief that they don’t have children?

[knowifIcando]

I’m in my late 30s and have known I think for a long time that I didn’t want kids. I’ve never really actively thought about it although now and then wonder if I’ll regret it.

And then I have moments like today. I’ve been at my sister’s house and my nieces are lovely, gorgeous kids but then she started talking to them about how they had to get their uniforms sorted for school, get the homework done and have baths and I felt such a feeling of relief that I had decided not to have them and could return to my peaceful home.

It’s like anything worthwhile in life - it’s a risk and it’s hard. But the upsides can be magnificent. Or terrible. You’ll never know if you don’t take the plunge. To not go there is definitely the safer option.

That's irrelevant. It's still a question for non parents to answer.

This made me laugh 😂.

I actually thought the description of your soul being outside your body was describing a negative, but maybe not.

Because a common issue on MN is people who don't seem to have basic comprehension skills.

"I haved booked a last minute eurostar to Paris leaving tomorrow. SOOO excited, but only have 24 hours there - what MUST I see, without having to travel miles between things."

"I've not got any advice on Paris - it's a horrible city, you should go to Milan"
"Never been to Paris."
"Definitely take a 4 hour train journey from Paris to the South of France and spend 2 days at my favourite beach town"

I don't even think this is about the FORUM it's on in this case. The question could ahve been in AIBU and it was pretty clear - if you don't have children, do you ever feel relief?

Exactly and it's people who claim they are happy with their decision to have kids that seem upset about this thread which makes no sense. I could understand some upset if they were made to have a child against their will or didnt realise they were pregnant before it was too late and didnt actually want a child, but otherwise what's the issue. It's great we live in a time with choice!

Serious question: if you do have children, what insight can you give into feeling relief that that you don't have children? It's impossible surely?

If the question was, "Is it appropriate for someone without children to feel relief they don't have children", then perhaps you might have some insight.

Of course you can, you can have kids and answer a question for people who dont have kids- if you want !

But it wasn’t just on that board it was on active which is why I saw it

And this is exactly why we wanted to get it off active.

Comprehension is a serious issue on here!

I recently posted in a different name on another thread about something unrelated to children. I was asked if I had them, did I want them, and informed I should consider having my tubes tied as contraception. Nothing about my actual question 😂

What’s the point though? What you getting from it?

And once again a thread on 'Mumsnetters without children' gets derailed by highly offended parents.

I remember a thread a while back about a woman struggling to cope with her daughter who just wouldn't stop talking. If she didn't answer straight away the girl would just keep saying 'didn't we Mummy?' 'Mummy, didn't we?' etc until she caved and responded.

It's a small issue compared with some of the heartbreaking situations parents are dealing with, some seemingly with no solution, but it stayed with me. I would have found that hard to deal with as well.

'I think of it as a piece of your heart placed in the middle of the M1, for a while you can cross with it, anxiously making sure there's no danger in sight, but in time, you have to stay back and leave it alone and pray it doesn't get run over. Someties it gets hit and you're in pieces as you rush to pick them up all battered and bruised and sometimes they get hit and never get back up again, when that happens you stop breathing'

As I said to a similar post upthread, THIS SOUNDS HORRIFYING. I don't know if you're expecting a round of applause for martyrdom or what

This whole thread is so clearly aimed at people who don't have children. I honestly don't know what the rest of you are getting out of it

Well, that post gives me one more reason to be relieved I don’t have kids. I’d be heartbroken if anything happened to my cat but she doesn’t put me through anything nearly as horrendous as that.

Just a plea to stop engaging with people who don’t understand the purpose of the board. They won’t change and it takes away from the discussion. My journey to be child free started very differently on mumsnet but I don’t want to have to justify my existence and the support I get to all and sundry.

The happiest looking people I know, with the most interesting lives, are childfree by choice. I wanted children, and had them, and the biological urge for me was really strong, I think I would have been very sad to have not been able to. But sometimes I feel sad for how much they have taken from me. They are not NT and we have very little family help and I spent many years basically not feeling like a person, just someone who went around serving others needs. It is very constructing and boring (and yes of course I love them but I can see the other side of the coin as it were).

The same as anyone else on Mumsnet - I’m offering my say just like anyone else! Only thing is though because I happened to disagree with the PP I got turned on 🙄

It is still a discussion if someone just so happens to disagree with the PP!

But it wasn’t put up on Mumsnetters without children it was put on active

You can’t put a thread on active. You have to start it on a specific board. Mumsnetters without children,dren in this case. It shows up on active because it’s getting a lot of traffic.

Well it still showed up on active wherever it was first put and it got the traffic regardless child status

I am having bit of a dejavu. Feels like xouple of other threads taken over by a single poster.

Best to just discuss the topic and ignore everything else

Not by the person who.started the thread!

Anyway, stopping feeding the troll now.

I get it for children and husbands.

Another thread right now about one who’s husband fucked off on a lads holiday leaving her with baby.

There’s a reason I am single and that it’s won’t put up with shit. If that had been my husband I’d have told him if he goes he’d better not come back. Unless ofcourse the same courtesy of swanning off on holiday without baby was applied to me.

I remember pre kids meeting my friend in a nice mid range restaurant for lunch with her 2yo. He grabbed at everything on the table, she had to move all the cutlery and glasses away from him. He had the child's spaghetti and coated himself and the scenery with it. He was noisy and she was distracted. She seemed dead stressed out. The lunch ended early. As she walked away his hollers gradually faded away.

Later in my peaceful kitchen I breathed a sigh of relief.

Now I have DC, I know it's all worth it and you wouldn't be without them but obviously they are often a PITA.