Best part of being childfree

[Mintgum]

Whats the best part of being childfree.
I chose not to have children knew from an early age i never wanted them.
But i have been ask why not whats so good not having them my reply was whats good with having them.
I like my life i like doing what i like i love my freedom.
I have no intrerest in schools finger painting teen dramas i also like sleep.
I dont have the stomach to be around them when they are eating either.
My sister didnt like my reply.
And told me im missing out on what love really feels like.
I replied with.
I'm really not missing out on anything.
You're the one that had kids in your late 40s and all you want is help.
And now im in the doghouse because i was rude.
My family all know dont ask me to baby sit because it won't happen.

I know, isn't it lovely to read. So many women sadly don't seem to be able to see their own value or importance. It's great to hear about someone who is so content with their life choices.
Besides, if we can't centre ourselves in our own lives then what is the point. We are the only person who spends our entire life with us, we should make sure we invest in making that person happy.

Oh I have just thought of another - I can afford to work part-time and study for a degree to eventually change my career.

What presence do children, or caregiving generally, have in your life?

None at all.

My professional life has all the caring I can deal with. When I get home I just want my partner and my dog.

I know this might come as a shock to you but...just because a thread appears in active, you don't actually have to click on it and....you don't have to comment.

I know. Mind blowing isn't it. Happy to help 😁

What presence do children, or caregiving generally, have in your life?

None. I have no children at all in my life and that's exactly how I want it. I don't enjoy the company of children.

I care, in order, for myself, my dog and my partner. That's more than enough to keep me busy and fulfilled.

You can hide boards, @lololulu, but I think it’s a fairly complicated process. As FitzwilliamDarcy said you’d be best asking MN, & reinforce the point that this board shouldn’t be in Active.

Or just ignore them like I do with the “my baby did a poo can everyone look at it” or “how shall I decide on Eton or Winchester?”

Going back to the freedom thing. Currently in Stockholm with DH who has gone to a conference. Just about to go off exploring on my own. Bliss.

I’ve never been, come back and tell me if it’s amazing! I hope it is :)

I couldn't name a "best thing" about not having children, because everything about it is best as far as I'm concerned. I can't abide babies and want nothing to do with children of any age. I wasn't that keen on them when I was one. My nurturing urges are solely directed towards cats. (Dogs are pleasant enough for casual acquaintance but I love cats.) Cleaning up body fluids and looking after animals - fine, no problem. Doing the same for humans (of any age), forget it.

Seconded!

Same here!

But then we still get the ‘helpful’ posts telling us what we’re missing out on. Or the latest fad seems to be analysing why we don’t want kids.

I see lots of single older people who live very full lives. Nature abhors a vacuum - most link up with a local support network organically. I think I might want to ensure I lived somewhere with like minded people around but I would think that if I had kids or not. In a world of globalisation adult children could be living thousands of miles away you can’t rely on that.

Lovely elderly lady recently very close to her late husbands niece and couldn’t help comparing the niece by marriage with her neighbours Dd who lived in Perth…

Actually people who don’t have the ready made support network tend to make more effort and be more interesting. This is anecdotal! One client had 40 somethings falling over themselves to help her she had been kind to them as children and was great company.

Having lots and lots of lovely sleep. Including afternoon naps whenever I want.

Not having to earn much or work many hours to afford the life I want.

Not having to spend time doing things like driving children to clubs, watching them play sports at the weekend, go to school events.

Not having to deal with other parents unless I like them and want to.

Being able to spend time with my lovely OH doing what we want to, including being spontaneous.

Hopefully none of the above will fatally wound or offend a parent who has accidentally stumbled on this thread...😉

Surprised this thread was largely about poo.
Poo never bothered me. I'm a scientist and worked with all sorts of bodily fluids. I wiped my nieces bum the other day, when her dad could have done it.

But what I miss the most is freedom, sleep, headspace. Doing what I like. Not having a kid trying to wrestle me. Peace and quiet, coffee shops. Lie ins, late breakfasts. Pottering about. Hangovers in peace. Good TV. Good music. A tidy house. Some resemblance of a fun loving relationship. Having a fucking full EVENING!

It absolutely astounds me that people still come on childfree forums saying having kids is amazing.
Because it isn't. Hardly at all, ever.
I'm a rare beast who comes on the childfree forum as I want, sometimes, to be childfree.
It's taboo to say, you can't IRL.
But I'm sure I'm not alone.

I enjoy the fact that society is changing. In my workplace and friendship circle I'm almost unusual for being a parent. I like that. Let people enjoy their lives. Having children is vastly overrated.

@mrlistersgelfbride

Sounds like you made the wrong choice there.

People can reflect on their own ambivalence without having made a wrong choice. I am so so so so glad to be child free but there might come a time when I'm wistful for the opposite.

But the older I get the more I just feel good about it in my bones.

Having to faff about making sure someone else has a blanket/bottle/nap/doesn't drown in the bath when I could be at the gym/cinema/working on an interesting project/chatting with interesting people instead? Hell to the no.

You've got to know and back yourself.

I do actually wonder if everyone hates all that boring slow mind dribbling stuff and is just more patient than me.

Maybe we could do @mrlistersgelfbride the courtesy of not judging her, seeing as she has been very honest with us? I’m very happy to provide a temporary refuge. She can be one of us in spirit whenever she wants, and welcome.

Oh, seriously, bore off.

All the benefits for me come down to freedom.

I finish work and my time is my own to do with what I want. I spend my weekends how I want. I don't have to spend the weekend shuffling kids from activity to activity.

I don't have to deal with tantrums. I won't have grandkids that I'm guilted into taking care of. I can get up and go at the drop of a hat.

All in all, it boils down to having the freedom to live my life on my terms, how I see fit. I don't need to factor in a little person before making big decisions. Just me and that is how I like it.

Oh, I want to add-one of my favourite pleasures of being childfree-lazy Sundays, spent on the couch with a good book and not having to listen to the screech of children. Ah, that's the life.

It's incredible how triggered some people get when they see women living their lives for themselves and not revolving them around someone else, isn't it?