Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

MNers without children

This board is primarily for MNers without children - others are welcome to post but please be respectful

How to cope when everyone else has children and their own 'family'

102 replies

sadsister23 · 01/03/2024 17:54

It's looking like I may not be able to have children even though I want them. I am 34 this year and have hypothalamic amenhorrea which, despite me stopping exercise and eating more, is not resolving itself.

Coming to the realisation that I may not have my own family is hitting me hard. Of course I am part of a family ie I have my partner and my mum, dad and brother but the idea I won't have a family of my own ie children is really hard for me to accept.

I am studying at the moment and was on placement this week in a family centre. Seeing all these mums so happy with their babies was really painful for me. The nature of the work meant that people were talking about families the whole time and everyone who worked there had kids of their own. I had nothing to contribute to these conversations.

My mum is visiting my grandparents this week and she was sending me pics of all the things my granny has kept that I made her when I was little - cards, bracelets, that kind of thing. It just made me so sad that my mum may not be able to do that for any child I have.

How do you cope in situations like this? The sadness is excruciating.

OP posts:
Ted27 · 24/05/2024 18:12

@sadsister23

@KimberleyClark is right I think. I was miserable as sin for most of my 30s. I went to friends baby events nodding and smiling in the right places and would go home and cry. At one point I think the only reason I got out of bed at weekends was to feed the cat.
Then as I saw 40 getting closer I realised that I didn't want to be nearly 50 and feeling the same.
So I just forced myself to get out, went on a dream holiday, took redundancy, went on a 4 month across Africa, upended my life and started to count my blessings. Had a complete career change which eventually led me to adopting my son.

I'm not here to advocate for adoption. Just saying what I did. I have a wonderful son, he is now at uni and I'm still single. Still here on my own. But that's fine. I have lots of very dear friends who are my family. I have a good life.
Ultimately you do have a choice- do you want to spend the rest of your life being miserable, or look for what is positive in your life and build on that.

Carebearsonmybed · 24/05/2024 19:30

If you continue gaining weight and recovering your body will get to the point where you are fertile again. Good luck.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread